Queer Recovery: Mick Resendez's Vision for LGBTQIA Recovery

Sobriety isn't about being boring, it's about embracing life to the fullest.  Nobody knows that better than my next guest, Mick Resendez of @queerrecovery where he kicks shame to the curb and wins over alcohol.  He invites you to forget everything you thought you knew about sobriety and join us as he rewrites the rules.  He is saying goodbye to outdated recovery methods and is recreating the recovery scene one fabulous step at a time.

Join host Jessica Stipanovic for a vibrant and insightful conversation with Mick Resendez on the Sober Living Stories podcast, as he shares his sobriety story.

From the exhilarating highs and camaraderie of West Hollywood's nightlife to the sobering realization of a worsening dependence on alcohol, Mick's story is one of resilience and reinvention. The turning point came during a whirlwind weekend at a friend's wedding in Florida, where a final drink marked the end of an era and the beginning of a rigorous 18-month outpatient program.

Explore the creation of @QueerRecovery, Mick's online community that evolved from Instagram live sessions during the pandemic. He delves into the need for inclusive support systems within the LGBTQ+ community, the problematic marketing of addictive substances, and the higher risk of addiction among LGBTQ+ youth. As we dive into Mick's professional vision of @queerrecovery, lean in as he discusses his ambitions to expand the initiative through coaching, group sessions, meet-ups, retreats, and a possible podcast. Mick's inspiring vision makes sobriety achievable, vibrant, and fun.

Mick's launching his first ongoing coaching group, packed with support, empowerment, and positive vibes. But that's not all—if you're in the Los Angeles area, mark your calendars for Mick's exclusive pop-up Queer, Sober Meet-up! It's all about creating a safe, welcoming space for LGBTQIA+ folks to connect, heal, and thrive together.

Stay in the loop with Mick and the @QueerRecovery community—follow him on Instagram and Threads for all the juicy details and updates. This summer's about to get a whole lot brighter!

To connect with Mick:
Instagram: @queerrecovery Mick Resendez (@queerrecovery) • Instagram

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Sobriety isn't about being boring. It's about embracing life to the fullest, and nobody knows that better than my next guest. His name is Mick and he has the Instagram account at Queer Recovery, where he kicks shame to the curb and wins over alcohol. He's joined you to forget everything you thought you knew about sobriety and help him rewrite the rules. He's saying goodbye to outdated recovery methods and join him in rewriting the script on recovery, one fabulous step at a time.

Speaker 1: 0:36

Welcome to the Sober Living Stories podcast. This podcast is dedicated to sharing stories of sobriety. We shine a spotlight on individuals who have faced the challenges of alcoholism and addiction and are today living out their best lives sober. Each guest has experienced incredible transformation and are here to share their story with you. I'm Jessica Stepanovic, your host. Join me each week as guests from all walks of life share their stories to inspire and provide hope to those who need it most. Welcome to another episode of the Sober Living Stories podcast. My guest today is Mick Resendez. Mick is here today to share his personal sobriety story and he's about to launch a new coaching business for the LGBTQIA community. Welcome.

Speaker 2: 1:44

Mick. Welcome to the show. Hey, jessica, thank you so much for having me. I'm very honored to be here today.

Speaker 1: 1:50

I would love for you to take us back and share your personal sobriety story so that listeners can relate, and then in the end, we'll talk about how you want to make this into something to help other people.

Speaker 2: 2:04

Yeah, absolutely. So I won't go through the whole from when I started to where I got to, but what I will start with is the crux of my journey. So I'm a gay man. I've been out since I was, I think, in ninth grade, 14. So, I think in ninth grade 14. So, and this was, you know, the late nineties, early 2000s.

Speaker 2: 2:31

So, while it is still a very brave thing to do as a young person, back then even more so. I was the only one in my school and I really embraced my identity Like I really like was very proud of who I was. I was out to my parents, I was out to my family, didn't really get much pushback on it. I was very fortunate in that regard. I grew up in Los Angeles, so I wouldn't grow up in the middle of nowhere. And when I got of age and I finally started going out in gay spaces, in nightclubs and things like that, in West Hollywood most specifically, that's when drinking culture really kind of became very glamorous and very sexy and fun and, oh my gosh, look at all the like inhibitions that I can allow myself to indulge in. And so at first, as a young, you know, as a young 21, you know, I was just getting my be-legs, so to speak, and learning to start with all the fruity cocktails and frilly cocktails.

Speaker 2: 3:32

Then, very early on in my 20s, I became a bartender. I got a job as a bartender. My life literally was all alcohol. I made a ton of friends and it's funny because when I talk about it I smile because it was such a fun time and I it's almost like in a movie. You know where I'm like oh, oh, what's coming, what's coming. You know what I mean. So I was out all the time. I had friends that were bartenders. If I wasn't at their bar they were at my bar. But I had a lot of friends and I had a lot of community and I was going to this party and that party and I was doing all the things and it was so much fun.

Speaker 2: 4:18

And then eventually and I can't really tell you when, but eventually it went to a point where it it was like I was just trying to keep the party going at all costs and I would, you know, I would befriend just anybody who is willing to just keep it going. Just, you know, it's three o'clock, four o'clock, five o'clock in the morning, whatever, we're still going to sleep and um, you know those were. Those. People became my friends and I still have my other friends from before.

Speaker 2: 4:53

Um, but a lot of what my drinking had to do with as I got older was a because a lot of the gay community and I speak really only from my experience, but I have spoken with enough people to confidently say this is the case for many people within the LGBT community there's such an emphasis on party culture, hookup culture, club culture, going out culture that you really feel as if that if you don't do that, if you're not part of it, then what do you do? Or you're like a loser, and I was like no, I'm not a loser, I'm fun, to my own detriment. I mean, I had people I ruined birthday parties. I've had people throughout the years just really say to me, like you know, you got a little crazy last night, but at the same time I don't know if you have this experience the same people that would say, oh, you got a little too, a little too wasted last night.

Speaker 2: 5:50

We're also the same people that, like, three days later were like, hey, we're going to happy hour. So it became such a challenge for me to reconcile. Well, do I have a problem Cause they say I do, but then like three days later they're inviting me back out. They say I do, but then, like three days later, they're inviting me back out. So at this point in my story I'm about, I'd say, right around probably, my 30th birthday, where I kind of slowed things down a little bit. I got a dog, so I was like, oh, I'm a dad now.

Speaker 2: 6:19

So I need to tone it down. Um, so, but, but, as but. As I got into my 30s and I'm single this whole time. No serious relationships. So then, at that point too, I'm like, well, where all the heck am I supposed to meet, you know, a man? Where am I supposed to, you know, find a boyfriend? And intellectually, logically, I'm sure anybody listening to this podcast that has any sort of issues with addiction or they're going through it with themselves or something logic, does not factor in much in our minds.

Speaker 1: 6:53

Correct.

Speaker 2: 6:54

It's just no logic. And so I was like, well, that's where I'm going to meet him. I'm going to meet him at a bar. I don't know where I got that from. So, and as you get into your 30s, this is when people in my life were having babies, getting married, moving in together, and I was still, you know, the old queen at the bar dancing, you know, all night long sloppily, or getting kicked out or, you know, just making a mess of myself and so, and people were just kind of watching and you know I would hobble. I would hobble enough of, you know, some sober days together. I'd do a sober October, a dry January. I'd do it long enough to convince not only myself but the people in my life that I'm okay, I have a handle on this and really, what my problem is and a lot of folks too may be over it it wasn't that I couldn't function without alcohol. It wasn't like I was one of those people that had to go, you know, before my morning coffee, have, like you know, a shot of vodka. It was that once I started, you know, once I started, at five o'clock on Friday, we were not ending until I passed out. Finally, sunday night, at like six o'clock, and so it was all the stuff that I did in between that that had the repercussions and everything that were the problem. So now we're now we'll get to. How did I finally get sober? Well, there's two, you'll see in a moment.

Speaker 2: 8:23

Weddings play a big factor in my sobriety journey, ironically. So about five years ago yeah, it was five years ago I had a very good friend, those friends in your life that really just you get each other, you get each other's humor, you can just be yourself with. She was finally getting married. She had this big wedding planned in Florida. Um, all of our friends were going to be there, everyone's going to be there. It's a big wedding. We rented a huge house, everything, the whole, the whole things, um, and I got there night one, totally fine, uh, then we got to the house on the second day and the party started and I don't really remember much of that weekend and I don't know if I don't know if I've chosen to forget some of it, but I the parts I do remember are not great A lot of fighting, a lot of arguing, a lot of yelling, not at her, just at other people.

Speaker 2: 9:28

And then the thing that I remember most clearly is the Sunday morning, waking up and just that, knowing that everyone in the house was like super pissed at me and that I essentially was like, well, we're going to go, I'll have a day here, you should probably go to the airport, even though your flight's not another eight hours. And so I got on the plane. Um, my very last drink I ever had just so appropriate was a room temperature, two bottles of room temperature airplane Chardonnay with ice. And I got home and I went to bed. And then the next morning I woke up and I remember the day very distinctly because it was the day that the Notre Dame church in Paris was on fire. And I'm not very religious, but I looked at that as some sort of sign. Religious, but I looked at that as some sort of sign.

Speaker 2: 10:30

So at that point, you know, I knew I had to do something. But again I'm in the throes of just denying that this is not something I can handle on my own. So my thought process was well, you know, I have pretty good health insurance. I should maybe go to an addiction specialist. I'll go to counseling, that's what I'll do. That'll be the thing that'll fix it. So I found this addiction.

Speaker 2: 10:50

I had an appointment like 10 days later. So I go to this appointment Uh, it's day 13 of my sobriety. And uh, she's talking to me she's great, ask me all these questions. She's like super shocked that I just went cold turkey. She's like did you get the shakes? Did you get? I was like no, I just stopped. And she's like, oh wow, she's like I've never really encountered somebody that just walks in here, that's just stopped and didn't have all these stuff.

Speaker 2: 11:14

I was like, I was like I kind of do this all the time. And she was like, really, I stuff on the computer and I'll never forget. She like turns to me very abruptly and says, okay, so here's what I think you need to do. I think you need to do about a nine to 12 month inpatient program. And I, yeah, exactly. And I was like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm not. I'm not an impatient person, I'm not a. You don't need to like send me away and do anything. That's not me. I'm just here to you know. I'm just here to you know, figure out why I get so mad when I drink you know, I want to figure out what makes me so angry.

Speaker 2: 11:58

I'm really thankful that somehow I had the insight to be like okay, she's the professional. Because you know, as an addict, anytime you get confronted with somebody else kind of telling you the secret that you already know, you're very like no, no, no, no, no, no, that's just like I did. And then you run. You know, I don't know if anyone ever watches the show Intervention, but it's like the second they're confronted, they're no, no, no, that's just like I did. And then you run. You know, I don't know if anyone ever watches the show intervention, but it's like the second they're confronted, they're boom out the door.

Speaker 1: 12:30

Right.

Speaker 2: 12:32

So I told, well, no, I did not go to the inpatient. But I told her I was like I don't think I'm an inpatient person, I go, I don't think I need to be in that structure of a program. And so she said, okay, well, let's do an 18 month outpatient. And so she gave me the structure it was. I think I had to go to three of their, uh, sobriety meetings so there's sobriety meetings, not AA meetings, because they don't follow the steps. Um, and then I had a counselor I think it was one counseling meeting a month and then I was, uh, I was to be randomly screened with a urine test at any time.

Speaker 2: 13:08

It's like accountability yeah, exactly, um, and then I love shit. People love this part. I got really fat.

Speaker 1: 13:21

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 13:22

Yeah, I got really fat and uh, everyone's always's always like oh, did you lose so much weight and you got thin? I'm like nope, I gained about 55 pounds. Um, because I just replaced drinking with food got it and transferred addictions.

Speaker 2: 13:35

Yeah, I transferred addictions yeah, yeah, exactly, and it was. It was so comforting to just have that in that moment and I went crazy Like I just ate everything. Um, and the thing about that that was so empowering eventually was that you, when you're in the throes of drinking or drug use for me at least, you can see it, but you can't see it as clearly as when one day you look in the mirror and you're like, oh, there's a lot more in my face here than there used to be, or these clothes don't fit me the way they used to. And so through those meetings and through those three, you know, those first hundred days, I really got the legwork of where the idea for queer recovery would eventually come through. Um, so I can share a little bit now. Now, how does that come about? Because now we're about three, about three and a half, four years ago.

Speaker 2: 14:39

So, as I mentioned at the beginning of my story, a lot of my drinking was from going out and partying and clubbing, and so, fortunately, I did meet some really great people that I'm still friends with, one of which is a friend of mine who got married or was getting married in Ibiza in Spain, and he called me and said I really would like you to. He did. I think I've maybe lied or something at some point and said oh, I'm a fish, I'm an officiant, I can officiate weddings. But somewhere along the line he got it in his head that I can officiate weddings. So he called me and he's like I really want you to come to Ibiza and officiate my wedding. So I mean, I'm not going to turn down a trip to Ibiza Like that's just not, that's not gonna happen.

Speaker 1: 15:25

But you really weren't able to do that, so that wasn't really.

Speaker 2: 15:29

Oh no, I made sure I I don't know I got us. I got ordained. I was like I'm not there. Oh, yes, thank you. I was like I got ordained, I did what I needed to do and then, um, about two months after that, he, he and I are talking, going over a few things and he's like hey, I just want to let you know I am very proud of you for your sobriety and what you're doing, cause I didn't tell him. Oh, that's part of it. I didn't tell anybody for about four months that I was getting sober or that I was sober. I didn't tell anybody. Yeah, for two reasons One, if I felt, if I decided to start drinking again, I didn't want that to be used against me.

Speaker 2: 16:06

You know, I want people to be like see, like you couldn't even look at you, you're total drunk. You couldn't even be sober for two months or whatever. Um, but also, I think the the. I think the other part of it was I, just if I had a hard enough time admitting it to myself I always likened the journey of coming out as a sober person as like when I came out of the closet as a gay man. Right, because for a long time I knew I was gay, I just wasn't quite sure how to word it. And then I finally got it. And then I came out to myself. And then I didn't come out. I mean, obviously, my friends, it was a little easier, but I didn't come out to like my family. And so, you know, a couple years after I came out to my friends, it was a little easier, but I didn't come out to like my family. And so, you know, a couple years after I came out to my friends, um, because I just wasn't sure how to identify with being a sober person, I didn't know what that meant because to me and my dad, uh, was an alcoholic and he, he said I'm a drunk alcoholics go to meetings. So anyway, I'm on the phone with my friend about his wedding and he says you know, there's going to be a lot of booze here, are you okay with that? And I said, well, and he's like I can get you, like I can sit you at a I can sit with like the kids table, I can do like whatever you need, but I want you to know that that's going to be. And I was like no, no, no, it's totally fine, totally fine. Because then at that point I'm still. Sobriety is still very new to me, so I'm not it's, I'm not thinking about it in that way.

Speaker 2: 17:39

So we fast forward, we go to, uh, we go. We go to Spain. We get there, everything's fine. And one of the things that I did do is one of my friends that I traveled with. She's not a big drinker anyway, but I was like I need just, if I need to go, if I need to get myself out of a situation, I need you to just come with me, no questions asked. She's like totally fine. So that was one of the first things that you know whenever anyone asks me exactly, things that you know whenever anyone asks me exactly. Whenever anyone's like what do I do? I'm like you got to get that one person that your point was just as you said. You know that if you're in a situation, get yourself out of there and that they'll go with you regardless. Um, so we get to the. We get to.

Speaker 2: 18:19

He rented this villa and a visa and it was gorgeous and so glamorous, and blah, blah, blah. And so we're there and the next morning everything's getting set up and, sure enough, part of the centerpieces are these very fancy bottles of tequila, and he says he goes, are you sure? He's like I have you sitting right in the middle of this Cause? He did this big family style long table and he's like I have you sitting right in the middle, across from me. I want you as close to me as possible, but he's like dude, the part of the wedding gifts are shot glasses Like he's literally just making sure that I'm so okay. It was so endearing.

Speaker 1: 18:57

And I was like no, I'm totally fine.

Speaker 2: 18:58

Everything went fine, the wedding was fine, I got so many compliments, it was great, it gets the reception. And sure enough, you know, europeans can drink. They have a whole different relationship with alcohol than Americans do, and I actually quite admire it. And they're like why aren't you drinking, why aren't you drinking, why aren't you drinking? And I was like, oh, you know, I'm just trying this sober thing and I, you know, we have an early flight tomorrow. I was just kind of going through all these different excuses and it was one, and finally different excuses and it was one.

Speaker 2: 19:25

And finally, later on that night I really thought about it and one of the things that I brand myself as is anti AA. And I want to be clear, before I jump into the rest of the story, that I'm not against AA in any shape or form. It works for so many people, but there's not an alternative for those that it doesn't look for. And so when I was in Ibiza that I have found, I should say, and when I was in Ibiza I remember sitting there, I was like, you know, if I was in AA, I may have had to have left.

Speaker 2: 20:00

This party found a meeting, you know, get myself there, do all these things and for me and the way I wanted to live my life, I was like that's just not a thing I really want to do and this doesn't work for me. There's not that I don't want to have to go through all that planning and do all that legwork to stay sober, so I've got to figure out a way to own my sobriety, the way that I own what hand I write with right like it's just not a big deal, and that's where the first little seeds of what queer recovery would eventually become.

Speaker 2: 20:34

And then, of course, the pandemic happened about five months after that and I had nothing to do but think about being sober, and and so that, and I celebrated my first year of sobriety, the first month of lockdown. Uh, and that was very confronting too, because I was literally in the environment that I had so long struggled to avoid my house. I had just moved to a new city right before that trip to Spain, and I knew nobody, so I was completely alone. And that was that. And again, if I had, if I had been really dependent I mean I don't know how people did it, but if I had been really dependent on a regular meeting or something. You know, there was like three or four weeks where we didn't know what was going on before things finally got on zoom. So it really got me again thinking like, how do you do this on your own? Now I'm not saying and we'll talk more about queer recovery in a minute but how do you empower yourself on your own so that when these things are happening, you really you're solid in your sobriety, without other stuff, so that the other stuff, that you're solid in your sobriety, without other stuff, so that the other stuff that you're doing meetings or whatever are complimentary and almost like icing on the cake for what you're able to do for yourself. So that's the journey. And then that brings us right up to when queer recovery got started.

Speaker 2: 21:58

But just to kind of round up that whole story, you know I had a lot of fun. I would say I had more fun during my partying days than I didn't. But the lasting effects of the not fun times is what ultimately led to me choosing sobriety, because I'd wrecked so many relationships and I mean I've been arrested, hospitalized. Um, you know, I got, I had an STD scare. I mean I had all sorts of just huge red flags. Throughout the time I've been hospitalized twice. So you know, but it wasn't until that wedding when I had all my friends basically be like we just can't deal with you, we don't know who we're going to get and it's not worth it for us anymore. But I was like all right, we got to look at what's going on here. So that's the sobriety journey and it's been really cool. The last five years has been really really cool Kind of reintroducing myself to myself cool kind of reintroducing myself to myself.

Speaker 1: 23:03

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Speaker 1: 23:59

So relatable, and you just hit me in the heart because I was like wait a second, there is something with weddings Because I am sitting here remembering I just recently spoke to a friend I've had since the third grade, but there was a period of time we didn't speak for like 10 plus years and the very last night was at a wedding when I didn't think that I did anything so unusual, but they had a different take on that, you know, and you have to listen to that and I think ultimately it's like, for whatever reason, we're okay with hurting ourselves in some respect with alcohol, but when it hurts others, I know for me. It got my attention and I was like, wow, you know, this isn't, this isn't just about me, it's affecting other people now and that's when I made a change, so I appreciate you being just so honest and sharing all that.

Speaker 1: 24:53

It's really really good. And so, yeah, I really I caught your Instagram, I've been watching it and I love it. And so it's at Queer Recovery, and if you could just talk us through that. I know you are thinking about launching some things. You have some good ideas for the future. If you want to share some of those now, I mean, that'd be great.

Speaker 2: 25:13

Yeah, absolutely so. Queer Recovery started in the pandemic. And when I say it started in the pandemic, and when I say it started the pandemic, it was simply uh like week 18 and I had nothing to do and so, um, and this was when this was, I mean, we were past the uh, foamy coffee phase, I think. Tiger king, tiger King, was phased out, people were over making sourdough, it was pre-protests, so there was just really not much going on.

Speaker 1: 25:48

It was a blank space, yeah it was just a blank space. But the pandemic that seriously did change a lot for everybody and how they couldn't show up anymore, so it forced people to think of alternatives and this is where this whole thing was born. So, like I'm not surprised, like it, yeah, so go ahead.

Speaker 2: 26:06

Yeah, and so what I created and I mean, I called everybody, I cleaned out my closets, like you know. I've done everything, and so, finally, I was just like you know what? I need to have some sort of structure in my day. I can't just sit around and watch, you know, reruns of old reality shows anymore.

Speaker 2: 26:24

Um, and so what I did is I created this what I called live at five, and I think I stole the name from the simpsons or something, but it started out as every monday, wednesday and friday at five o'clock, I would just go live on instagram and I would just talk as I would do, as I am right now, and it it was just. It was just a stream of consciousness and the first I think maybe five or six of them were just me talking about sobriety and my opinions on it and I just kind of opined. And you know, the first two was like my mom and, you know, maybe a couple of friends, and that was it. But eventually I started getting you know 10, 12 people and there were maybe four or five of them that would ask me questions or have you know, say thank you for sharing, and so I was like, hmm, there's gotta be something that I'm, because for me, I'm just me, I'm just talking you know, as as I'm talking to you right now, as people are listening, I'm just talking.

Speaker 2: 27:21

So when people hear things, when I get that feedback, I'm like, oh, I mean I'm not talking right now, like, oh, this is something, someone's going to get something out of this. I mean that's my hope. And so that's how career recovery was born and I started talking about and it was the. It was the. It was the episode, I guess I would call it, where I started talking about how AA didn't work for me, and I'll share a little bit about that, because that's really how we go back.

Speaker 2: 27:46

So, very long story short is I had a court-ordered AA meeting, as many of us recovering addicts may have been to in our lifetimes, and I got a DUI and I went into this meeting and I got a DUI and I went into this meeting and I don't remember and I will acknowledge that I probably remember this inaccurately, but what I do remember is the feeling I was left with, and I think that's really what's important, because I went into the meeting and somehow I was talking to somebody and now that I think about it, it was probably one of those like those people, those meetings for people that have have 10 plus years under their belt. So you have this little gay party boy coming in and he's like I'm coming to this because I got a DUI. And this guy was like well, you're not here for the right reasons. Now, as a person that's now five years sober, I can understand where that comment would come from. But at the same time, at that time.

Speaker 2: 28:45

I thought to myself well, I'm obviously here because something's put me here.

Speaker 2: 28:51

I have 100,000 other things better to do than to be in an AA meeting. I would probably put paying my taxes above being in this meeting, and so for this person to then tell me that I shouldn't be there, I mean I tell people all the time you don't need to give an addict a reason to use Like, we'll find it ourselves. So I just was like, screw this, I don't have to do this. And so I left, and at that moment I was like I don't see what's so great about these meetings If this is how I'm being treated. I mean it's such a I mean, when I say it out loud, it's just such a selfish, self-righteous, very addict way of looking at the world.

Speaker 1: 29:30

Right right.

Speaker 2: 29:33

And I've talked to so many of my friends and people that I know that are in AA and they're like I'm so sorry that you had that experience, blah, blah, blah, sure. And I'm thankful that I have it because it gave me the insight to say, okay, where's the space for not only people that don't vibe with AA, but now you've got the whole LGBTQIA plus community and when I talk to my friends in my community, the first thing that they talk about is that they don't vibe with the God aspect of AA and they're like. You know, I have friends that are like I just ignore that part. Anytime God comes up, I just kind of ignore that part.

Speaker 1: 30:12

And I've done a little.

Speaker 2: 30:12

I mean, I haven't done a ton of my research just yet, but I did recently find and I think it was Russell Brand, so take this with a grain of salt, but he was talking about. It's not like a Christian God. It can be whatever God you want, but that right there. For queer recovery and me, the premise is that you have to believe in God or a God, which I do, but there's those that don't.

Speaker 2: 30:36

So what happens with those folks? Where do those folks go? I haven't found an answer. So I am creating queer recovery for that. Now am I saying whole series coming up? That I'm working on a whole series? It makes it sound like it's a TV show, but I have a series of posts for Instagram that are coming up that really dives into how advertising is really focuses. You know, we have pride month coming up in June. You're going to start seeing beer bottles that are rainbow. You're going to start seeing vodka bottles that have rainbows. You're going to start seeing lesbian couples on advertisements, gay couples, trans. You're going to start seeing all these different people and they're marketing towards that. That's. You know, that's that's what they do.

Speaker 2: 31:31

But you're marketing something to a group that's already at a higher risk of developing addiction. I mean LGBT young people have a 20 to I believe it's 20 to 30%. Get at me and hit my DMs if I'm wrong. I have a 20% to 30% higher rate of addiction than non-LGBT young people. So there's a higher risk. We're pushing it towards my community more and there's not an alternative.

Speaker 2: 32:01

And when there's not an alternative, people just do nothing, I find, because people believe that it's hard to be sober, and I'm not going to say it's easy, but it's not insurmountable. There are things that are way harder to do and if you go into something saying, oh this is so hard, I can't do this, well, guess what you can't. So that's where I'm coming along and my whole purpose and, as you've said as much, I want sobriety to be fun. It's a serious subject but it's fun. You can have fun. You don't have to completely lose yourself. Sobriety is not getting a lobotomy. It's about enjoying your life. And again, as I said, I was just at a wedding this last weekend and I had a blast and I, you know, I always joke. I'm like I am so much more funny now that I'm sober because they're all drinking and I just say whatever, and they're like you are hilarious, you are so whatever, and they're like you are hilarious, you are so funny, and I'm like this is my B material. So you know, and so where I'm at right now that your audience knows that I'm in the very beginning. So we're.

Speaker 2: 33:10

When I say we, I am creating content, I'm getting my voice out there. That's why I'm here speaking with you today. I'm out there really sharing who I am, creating content. I'm getting my voice out there. That's why I'm here speaking with you today. I'm out there really sharing who I am and what I'm up to with the world and eventually we're going to be and I'm saying eventually, within the next probably six weeks, we're going to be launching coaching as the business. I'm going to be taking on clients. I am going to be looking for a few more of what I'm calling beta clients people where I'm testing out my program so that I can see what really works. I want to include a group aspect to it, which I know is so funny because I'm like, so anti-AA. What about meetings? But it's the same but different. Eventually we're going to do retreats and you know I'm I'm I'm looking at having a podcast too, because, as you can see, I can very long winded and I think being able to just talk is going to be a really powerful platform which, uh, if I do choose to do that, I'd love to have you on Um.

Speaker 2: 34:11

But that's queer recovery. You know, it's about embracing sobriety, enjoying it. There's no like disappearing the shame. You know, I always tell people that the hashtag for queer recovery is sober, not vegan, which I was a vegan for three years. It's sober, not vegan, because there's a joke I don't know if you've ever heard, but it goes. Have you ever met a vegan? No, don't worry, if you ever heard, but it goes. Have you ever met a vegan? No, don't worry, they'll tell you.

Speaker 2: 34:41

And so and so with with sobriety. You know, at this wedding and with this wedding I was at this weekend people were like we don't seem sober and it just. And, as I said before, my journey of sobriety, my journey of like my queerness and being gay, has been very similar, because I remember people say you don't seem like a gay person to me. And it's funny because I know what people mean when they say things like that. I can't explain it, but I know what they mean and I take that as a compliment.

Speaker 2: 35:08

You know, like I told people they're like oh, you're at this wedding, but you were talking to the bartender, you helped setting the bar up and I was like I was a bartender for 12 years and I know what to do, I'm good at it. And they're like would you, you're fine handling alcohol? I'm like yeah, I can absolutely handle the booze and get it all set up. I go. You know I handle dog food. You know I'm able to like get my dog's food ready. You know I don't have anything about that, um, and so you know, like I said, just to kind of recap, we're starting the new stuff, we are getting the brand going. Eventually we're going to probably do a podcast, retreats, coaching, and then eventually the thing that I'm really excited about this is eventually I'm going to start offering coaching and programs for families.

Speaker 2: 35:52

And by that I mean you know if you're the mother of an addict or the son of an addict, or the cousin or somebody, or the or dating an addict, like, how do you interact with them? How do you deal with them? How do you support them? Um, because a lot of folks don't know and they think and I say this as a child of an addict they think that getting mad at them is going to be the thing that makes the difference. Um, or they think that, you know, as long as they're in my house and they're using my house, then that's safe and there's a yes and no to that. But I'm here to give them the support that they need for that too, and we're going to event. I'm going to eventually start getting that on my Instagram too, but that's where I'm at right now.

Speaker 1: 36:30

Yeah, I didn't interrupt you once because I I I really loved your story. I think you're so authentic and, like I said, I love what you're doing out there in the Instagram world. That's where I see you. And I grew up very traditional, which then turned very modern in my 20s and 30s, there was a real shift in my family and I just have such a heart, for I believe that you know, there has to be spaces for like-minded people to come together and to support one another.

Speaker 1: 37:03

So you know I'm not. I think there's a real need for this and I am a hundred percent behind what you're doing. I think it's great. So, you know, the more you can get out there and like survey your people, you know, see what they want. See, see what your.

Speaker 1: 37:22

Instagram followers want Like um see, as you're just launching this, you know you, you we've talked to pre-record and you have it all laid out and everything's in place. But you have some really incredible ideas for the future and, just like you know, putting it out there to your followers and stuff will really give you some good feedback on what they would want the most you know Right Right.

Speaker 1: 37:40

So, yeah, I think you're coming from such a genuine place and the fun factor is what I love too. You know, one of the highest listened to episodes on my podcast was when somebody spoke about having fun and sobriety and that we don't get sober to not and to really just treat yourself, and to often we often spent so much money and the lifestyle that we previously led on things that led us down the wrong path to not limit yourself and to use those finances for finances for things you know that are going in the right direction, and um yeah, so I wish you all the success in the world, and I'll be watching if you could just let people know where they can find you during the week.

Speaker 2: 38:27

Yeah, so on all platforms as well, on Instagram threads and Tik TOK, I'm at Queer Recovery, q-u-e-e-r-r-e-c-o-v-e-r-y, and Instagram and threads is where I'm really active right now and then eventually anything I launch will be directly through there. So if you want to know what's going on, where I'm at, what's to come, instagram and threads is where I'm at right now.

Speaker 1: 38:54

So great, yeah. And so if we could just end on, if you have anything, one sentence or one line that you could say to anyone who is struggling and would like to find they're not finding themselves resonating with any other sobriety groups. They're having trouble, they're struggling, they want to jump off. What do you say to them?

Speaker 2: 39:17

You've got this and you can do it.

Speaker 1: 39:20

Thanks so much for being here. I really appreciate you being on the show.

Speaker 2: 39:24

Jessica, thank you so much for having me. It's been such a pleasure.

Speaker 1: 39:32

Thank you for tuning into the Sober Living Stories podcast. If you have been inspired, consider subscribing and sharing with anyone who could use hope in their lives. Remember to stay tuned for more inspiring stories in the episodes to come. To view our featured author of the month or to become a guest yourself, visit wwwjessicastepanovichcom.