The Sober Living Stories Podcast

From Emotional Eating to Empowerment: Miriam Rachel's Transformation

• Jessica Stipanovic • Season 1 • Episode 15

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Have you ever found solace in the depths of a pantry, seeking emotional refuge in food? Miriam Rachel has story is a testament to the power of positive change. Bravely looking at the root of her struggles with emotional eating, she shares her story. From a critical upbringing to the demands of caring for a special needs child, Miriam's journey through severe depression and a peak weight of 300 pounds speaks to the heart of anyone who's fought to overcome an addiction.

Finding solutions to food addiction and echoism (pathological people pleasing), our latest episode isn't just about Miriam's victory; it's about strategies anyone can employ to reclaim their life. Medication, she stresses, was merely a tool, not a solution. As Miriam learned to confront her emotions head-on, she found solace in the written word, turning to journaling to express and heal.

Listen as she discusses the delicate act of sharing personal struggles with the world, all while preserving privacy and dignity. It's a balancing act many of us can learn from, especially when letting go of past comforts in pursuit of a healthier self.

As a mental health advocate, she shares day-to-day tactics that sustain progress. Miriam doesn't shy away from discussing burnout, setting boundaries, and the importance of self-care, particularly for those in caregiving roles. She offers practical advice on managing nutrition, making peace with dietary changes, and finding balance within a world that often feels unbalanced.

Her healthy weight loss tips go beyond the scale, focusing on mental resilience, the celebration of non-scale victories, and the power of community support. Join us to hear how Miriam turned her trials into triumph, and how you also can win at a healthier, happier life.

To connect further with Miriam Rachel visit:
 https://miriamreadstarot.substack.com
https://msmir.medium.com                       
https://instagram.com/miriamreadstarot                         https://twitter.com/miriamrachel75
https://lihnkedin.com/in/miriamrachel

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Speaker 1:

Welcome to the Sober Living Stories podcast. This podcast is dedicated to sharing stories of sobriety. We shine a spotlight on individuals who have faced the challenges of alcoholism and addiction and are today living out their best lives sober. Each guest has experienced incredible transformation and are here to share their story with you. I'm Jessica Stapanovic, your host. Join me each week as guests from all walks of life share their stories to inspire and provide hope to those who need it most. Welcome to another episode of the Sober Living Stories podcast. Today, we're joined by Miriam Rachel, a mental health advocate who shares her incredible journey of overcoming emotional eating in an effort to regain control over her life. From battling people pleasing to coping with weight struggles since adolescence, her story is one of self-discovery. She talks about facing burnout as a caregiver and breaking free from harmful habits even during life's toughest moments. Get ready to be inspired. This is a conversation you won't want to miss. Welcome, miriam. Welcome to the show.

Speaker 2:

Thank you so much for having me on.

Speaker 1:

So glad that you could be here. It's been really prevalent lately about emotional eating and food addictions. When I heard your story, I wanted you to come on and share your journey with that and any helpful insights on how to have a healthier relationship with food to our listeners. If you can just start at the beginning, yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 2:

My goodness, I don't even know where to start, but I guess I'm going to start here. So I'm the oldest, I'm the oldest and of course my parents were harder on me, more critical of me, and then they were so easy on my brother, who is now estranged, but that's another story for another time. Okay, I was also not treated very well. I was bullied, I was scapegoated and it's because I was always sent the sensitive one. I was different. I am neurodiverse and nobody knew that at the time, so that's why my social skills were very awkward. And then, as soon as I hit puberty, at age 11, my weight just went up and I ended up with acne and everything and I was shunned, I was made fun of. So I had nowhere to turn to and I started developing very unhealthy eating habits. I was sneaking food and as a teenager I would steal money from my mother's purse and just go to the convenience store to get candy and stuff. So that's how it all started. But then at age 15, I knew I wanted a boyfriend. So I knew I had to lose weight and I was put on my first diet and I did lose quite a bit of weight and then I was put on a. I think I went on like a thousand calorie diet, which is absolutely a no, no. But then it didn't take long for me to start yo-yoing since then and I yo-yoed and yo-yoed and yo-yoed for decades.

Speaker 2:

Now the absolute worst experience for me very traumatic was I have two kids. One of them has complex special needs and you know what as a mother, you do everything you can to help your kid, right? Yeah, absolutely so. But I got absolutely no support. I was shamed Every time I vented about my struggles. I was told basically to shut up. He's autistic with severe ADHD and it wasn't diagnosed. But he very likely has oppositional divine disorder too and he's. He was very, very manipulative and I couldn't. I did what I could to help because he was very good at school, but then his therapist teachers said you got to practice these things at home. He did not cooperate and it was just awful. I felt so alone and I was always told be thankful, your son can talk. You have no business complaining, it just. Things just got very worse and my depression was so severe that I was. I was just basically focusing on food, always comforting. I'd even get up in the middle of the night to eat. It was terrible. I was 300 pounds. That was the highest I've ever been. That was my rock bottom.

Speaker 2:

So I also want to mention that, because of all that and because of what I experienced in my youth, I fell into people pleasing extreme people pleasing known as echoism. Okay, and echoism is the opposite opposite side is narcissism. Right, there's you got to find a balance. We know narcissism is where you only care about yourself. You don't care about anyone else. You do it. What's for you? Echoism you only care about others because you want to be accepted. That's pathological people pleasing. So I fell into that until my catalyst was when I knew I was not able to take care of my son anymore. I was so depressed, I was almost catatonic. I was barely, just barely, functional and I'm telling you, being 300 pounds is horrid, absolutely horrid. You forget about mentally, physically, you can't walk without getting winded, your joints hurt all the time, your back hurts, it's, it's horrible. So I finally reached out to help. I did yeah, they listened to me. So he was placed in a therapeutic setting, in a group home setting and a residential school type, and he's doing very well.

Speaker 2:

This was in 2017. So I actually after that, four months after decompressing, I decided I knew I had to lose that weight. I was also having sleep apnea, which is absolutely frightening, very frightening, and that's when I knew, oh my goodness, I got to change this. So I slapped myself on a 1500 calorie diet also probably very stupid, because I was probably consuming a good four or 5000 calories and that's way too much of a deficit. I should have gone maybe to 2500. I should have talked to a doctor or a diet technician, really, and I would have lost on 2500 initially anyway. I mean, I really would have. But whatever done is done. But it was terrible. I was shaking, I was just having the chills. It was horrid, but then I adapted and I lost that weight very, very quickly. This was in 2018.

Speaker 2:

In 2019, I actually was doing well with maintenance. I did, and I gained a little bit of weight, but not too bad. However, when the pandemic hit, all the lockdowns happened in 2020, I ended up gaining a lot of that weight back. But I ended up gaining a lot of that weight back. And then it's because I didn't really change my habits. I just yo-yo diet. I just went back to old habits. I was upset about the lockdowns I was upset about and I'm an introvert and I hated the lockdowns. But I used, again, food to cope cope with my feelings. So that's what I did. And then I didn't like the fact that I was gaining the weight back again and I was also yo-yowing. I was sent from 2021 to 2022. Yo-yout about 30 pounds here and there.

Speaker 2:

So then, actually, what happened was in very late 2022, my mother had told me. She said, oh, I heard about an amazing drug that people are using to lose weight and I think I know what this is. Right, it's ozembic. So then I mean, I hadn't even had to check up since I don't even know 2018 or 2019, because of the lockdowns and everything. But here's the thing I went to the doctor and I said I want to try ozembic and he says well, we got to test your blood sugar to make sure that if your blood sugar shows it's high, then yeah, you'll be approved because of insurance reasons, right? So it's like well, I didn't have a reason to think I was diabetic because I'm like oh well, I don't really eat too much candy anymore, I don't do this or that. Well, it doesn't matter, I turned out to be diabetic anyway and I was yeah, and it's a good thing that it was caught when it was.

Speaker 2:

So, yeah, I got approved for ozembic, and let me tell you, this was in January 2023. I've lost about 45 pounds on it. I've got about 25, 30 more to go, but whatever, I'm not even going to focus on that too much right now. That's just part of all of this. Let me tell you, though. Let me tell you that ozembic really changes the way you think about food.

Speaker 1:

So could you explain that a little bit to listeners who I know that's really been in the media a lot Just in the past year. And so what exactly is it and what does it do and what did it cause you to do?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, okay, so it's a GLP one drug. Basically, it helps regulate your hunger hormones in your brain and just in your system. So you start feeling full, you actually stop thinking about food in a more healthy way, you don't mindlessly eat so much. You find other ways to cope and that's what I did. But the thing is not everybody's going to be able to go on that, and I'm certainly not. I'm certainly not telling people that they should, because there are side effects with it too and there, and some people have very bad reactions to it.

Speaker 2:

I luckily didn't have anything too bad, except for constipation, but it's a bit of heartburn, but it's just one of those things. And there's you know what. There's other, there's other tools to look into as well, because it's a tool. It's not a magic bullet, it's a tool. So that's what I was basically forced to focus on finding new ways to cope, because food just wasn't it as soon as I started going. Yep, food just wasn't it. And it's a tool. Like I said, you still have to do the work, but it's a tool.

Speaker 2:

And really there were times when I mourned. I mourned the. You know the old habits that I had. I mourned, I mean, you're going to mourn, you can't, you don't want to eat, like well, this is how I cope and you got to figure out how to cope. So what's been working for me is writing. I mean, I'm a writer anyway, but writing mediumcom has been my has been a really great outlet for me. I write about what I want and journaling to. Journaling really does help you get all your feelings out instead of stuffing them in, because when you're, when you're emotionally eating, you stuff your feelings in them because you don't feel heard, you don't feel scared.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah Well, let's just back up just a little bit. I think what's important is that you're saying that that was a tool for you. It wasn't a magic bullet. It's not the end all. It's not put all your you know.

Speaker 1:

So what that essentially did for you was kind of it arrested the eating compulsion and within your brain and then, because that was such a numbing agent for you and, like you know, for your emotions, it's you know, it's like you know it's having that be gone, it forced you to find different ways to cope and to actually feel emotions.

Speaker 1:

So that must have been difficult and I really like respect and appreciate that you talked about morning, because I think when you're in a harmful habit for however many years, that there's some kind of grieving process that goes along with that. And I can relate with that so much with having overcome alcoholism, because I can specifically know the day that I wrote about how that was my companion for so many years and like best friend for so many years, and how I'm saying goodbye to that, and so that's really essential. I think it's a big step in the right direction when you come to grips with that and grieve it because you're really letting it go. So can you tell us more about the coping mechanisms and what happened like internally to you?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, okay. So it was very hard because I knew that food wasn't it, if I mean, if I was feeling really, really upset and I was just wanting to go back to my old habits. But I'm like, wait a minute, I'm not even hungry, I'm not sure if I'm going to have the appetite for this. So that was very hard and that's what I also was grieving. And then I just decided, you know, I'm going to screw it, I'm just going to write down how I feel and I'm just going to let it all out, and that's a really good coping mechanism. I mean writing, it's great.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, you know I love that because you took a really negative, harmful habit that was was hurting you and you put it down and you replaced it with writing Like I'm a writer, I get that like.

Speaker 2:

it's creative, it's an outlet.

Speaker 1:

So instead of stuffing, you're letting it out, you're putting it on the page and then that becomes something. It's like a completely different. That's incredible. I love that you journaled. I love that you're saying that so listeners can know that that is a complete option. So tell me a little bit about the writings.

Speaker 2:

Yes, it's okay. So this is how you do it, because you want to make sure that you've got a good name right, especially if you know the stuff that you're putting out there, is going to put, is going to make, is going to affect your reputation, because you've got to also be very careful with the kind of dirty laundry you're going to put out. Now listen, it's okay to put out some of it if there's a purpose for it, if there's a message you want, that's okay. The thing is, if it's only dirty laundry where you're going to be just venting and venting and saying, oh, I can't stand by my husband or this or that, Just put it in a private journal. Or just do a. You know, write a. You know, you can set up.

Speaker 2:

There's so many private journals you can set up online to just write that you know what and you know what. If there's a message that you want to bring out though, like later on, when you're calmer, you can go back to it and just edit some of it and just make it less, just less negative, but if you want to bring out a message, you can always then publish it. You know what I mean. So, yeah, well, you're really, really irritated you. You're like oh God, I don't know what to do with this. You got to just also figure out okay, if I'm going to write something that could hurt my reputation, then maybe I should just stick to the private journal, you know? So let's get advice.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, they talk about that in. With writing, you know when you're putting it, the book, you know it's a. It's called a healing. Is it a healing copy, like it's? It's like all the raw material. And then I think that they say the real books and the edits. So if we're talking about journaling and you're putting it out to the world, I love that because the real, if the real books and the edits, you're going to take that healing copy and you're going to infiltrate it with solution and insight for people to read, because ultimately, you're writing. If you're writing for the public, you're writing to serve them and to give them something that they can take away so that they can make a positive change in their life. So, yeah, yeah, and you know and it's okay.

Speaker 2:

You know the thing is, you got to. You just got to find that happy medium. It's okay to dish a little bit of dirty laundry if people are going to relate to it. You just got to make sure that it's not going to make you look bad and that's why it's good to just put in a private journal later on. It's like you know what. Maybe there's something that someone can take away so you can edit down the real hardcore stuff and just write a softer version of it as part of the part of the copy. But then you can come up with the. This is how I deal with it. You know that's okay. So it's good to just document everything and if there's something that isn't so bad you can just write about, especially if there's something that people can take away from it. And let me tell you, mediumcom has been just my. It's been my, that's been my coping mechanism. It really has been. So it's a good I'd say transfer, if you want to call it that. Sure.

Speaker 1:

Sure, what about health? Wise, you were talked about physically when you were at your highest weight. How difficult it was. So what's the positive changes that have happened?

Speaker 2:

Oh, my goodness, I can. Oh, wow, I've got so much energy. It's amazing. I don't get winded anymore. I can walk up the, I can run up the stairs and not get winded at all. My, my back doesn't really hurt anymore. My knees don't hurt so much, but you know, I still get a little bit of pain in my knees only because of how much pressure I used to have.

Speaker 2:

Because the thing is, you're still going to end up feeling some of the effects from having a high weight, even if you're not such a high weight. It's just, unfortunately, there's some damage there and there is very little that can be done unless you go for, like, physical therapy which I'm, it's not so bad to the point that I need to do that. You just feel. You just feel more comfortable and more confident and you don't have to worry about getting seat belt extenders, like none of that you. You don't have to worry about people staring at you, because they don't, you know. You also don't have to worry if you say, go on a plane, you're not going to worry about not fitting in the seat. No, that's all I mean. That's the thing. That's the thing. And I got to tell you, the fat acceptance movement really angers me. It really really does, because they do promote obesity and I'm sorry to say it, they do, and they get so defensive about that, right yeah.

Speaker 1:

You know you talk about. Yeah, that's interesting, that, and you can, of course, having been on both sides, have a strong opinion about that Rightly so. And I wanted to talk about something you had mentioned earlier ECHOISM as a contrast and opposition to narcissism. I think that's really interesting and I'm wondering if the confidence increase with your better relationship with food and wellness has increased your confidence and how did that affect your people pleasing.

Speaker 2:

Oh you know what After? You know the thing is. It's interesting because after my son left, over time it was shed, the Echooism was shedding. I was starting to set boundaries, I was starting to put myself first, I was starting to say no, and let me tell you, it has helped a lot. It's not like one of those times where I just woke up Wednesday and said, whoa, I'm not gonna be a people pleaser anymore. Nope, doesn't. It's a very slow, gradual process that you may not even realize. That happens until you look back and say, wow, oh my goodness, I mean, here's.

Speaker 2:

The other thing, too, is that I have no problem with asking for help if I need it. I used to, not because I thought it was a burden, right, but yeah, it does help you. I think it all works together. It does help you. You put yourself first, you have boundaries, and. But the thing is, you have to find a balance with that too, because there were times when I've noticed I've got little selfish at times, like, and that's really not a good, that's not a good thing. So what you need to do is sort of dial back a bit, say, okay, maybe I should learn to make compromises, choose my battles, et cetera. The key is, as long as it's not crossing your boundary, then sometimes you just gotta give a bit and make compromises. So that's sort of a job in itself too, right.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, absolutely being. A lot of listeners are recovering from addictions and I think people pleasing whatever, there's always something that they characterize themselves with their personality that once they are starting to get well, they're able to address that. And even as a being a mom, you're a mom and there's a lot of mom struggle with balance, putting their kids first. Like you had said earlier, you would do anything for your children and I think, as moms, we too do that as well. Like we put them first because we want them to go and be in due. Meanwhile putting ourselves last and then not showing up as well.

Speaker 1:

Like I know, energy wise, you know that was a big thing for me in 2019. When I lost weight. That was the first thing that I noticed and the best thing. It was like the energy was back. It wasn't about the weight or what I had looked like then. It was about the fact that I wasn't getting like slammed down at four PM and not being able to move because I was making poor choices. I was exhausted and in that way, I could better be there for my kids. So I, too, can relate with that. Then you know that that was then. This is now. Things have changed a lot. I'd love to get back there, but it's certainly something that I experienced and felt that will help me be motivated to get there again.

Speaker 2:

Right, right, yeah, absolutely. I believe that. You know you're gonna. It's gonna ebb and flow, it really will.

Speaker 2:

And it's hard to find, it's always hard to find that balance. You know it's even now I'm helping my daughter. She's just getting into adulthood, she's finished school and all that. I'm helping her start her business. So I'm finding myself a little bit tired and I'm like, okay, hang on. I realize I've got to help hold her hand, but she's got to do things on her own. So I said, look, her name's Stephanie. Look, stephanie, you've got to. I understand you're this is all new to you because you know she's anxious, she's shy, she's introverted. But I said, please, you've got to make an effort. I can't do everything for you, You've got to do things yourself. And she realizes that and she's doing it slowly. So I, if I feel like there's a chance I could end up getting burned out again, then I catch it. And that's when I say, look, I got to put the brakes on because I got to focus on my work. I mean, I've got a lot of stuff to do for myself, right?

Speaker 1:

Sure Can you talk a little bit about burnout and what that looks like, what that feels like and what you can do about it, cause I think that overachieving, you know all of those things go hand in hand with the personalities of people who have addictions and such they're as successful or as unsuccessful as they may have come in the height of their addiction, when they put it down they can be, they're just super achievers, right. So where is what does burnout look like and how can you avoid it?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, well, I think it's. It may be different for everybody, but the common, the common theme with burnout is just feeling depleted and you don't feel like you can do anything. You have no excitement anymore. You just have no energy and you are just feeling that you just don't have anything more to give. You're beyond exhausted and you're depleted. And you know what? You're feeling resentful that you got to do these things.

Speaker 1:

Resentful. Yeah, that's a yeah yeah. Oh yeah, that's an indication.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, if you're feeling resentful and you're just feeling like you don't care, then that's burnout and that's what ends up happening is it can turn into compassion fatigue and that's when it can get very dangerous. Right, it can get very dangerous. It's like it gets to the point where you just don't give a crap about the care recipient because you're just so, you're apathetic. You're also apathetic and that's what I was experiencing and also very, very depressed. I also have depression too, and complex PTSD from all that, and you know what? That's all hidden, but it just turns very ugly. So, exhaustion, apathy, resentful pouring you're pouring from an empty cup and you know it, you know it, and that's when you need extreme respite right.

Speaker 1:

Right, correct. Yeah, it's like putting yourself in the ICU.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, just like an intensive care and then you know being let out to a normal bed. As you make those, I think it's about you know allowing for space. Not only does it give you I'm not just talking about space in a day, you know, not back to back to back but because it gives you that psychological space which I think you alluded to when you talked about being prescribed that diet drug was that. It gave you that psychological space to be like wow, okay, so I'm not eating all day. So I have this time which builds awareness, which allows you to think better and to make better choices.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, definitely. And you know what, like I said, not everyone's going to be a candidate, and I certainly I'm not trying to, because, again, you do have risks with it too. I've heard a lot of stories about you know people having very bad reactions to it, but I think maybe the best thing to do is you got to talk to a professional that can help you and work with you.

Speaker 2:

I mean, there may be other, safer tools. You'd have to explore that, like you know, because I'm all for using a tool if it can help you. I mean, think about it. If you can't see that well, you got to wear glasses. You know what I mean. That's a tool and, yeah, I see this as the same thing. It's not a magic bullet, it's a tool, but it really does change so much. It reduces your appetite, changes your outlook on food and your relationship with food, and you've got to still work with it Doesn't mean that the old habits won't come back, because they certainly can, but then you become more mindful.

Speaker 2:

But I also want to mention too and this is not, it's understandable too but you can end up dealing with a lot of fear, especially if you're placed in a place where there's a lot of food and stuff like buffets. You feel fearful, very fearful, because last year my daughter wanted to go to a Chinese buffet for her birthday and it was her birthday, right. I had to go along with it and I was terrified. I was terrified like, oh, my goodness, what am I going to do there? But you know what? I slayed it. I slayed it, I stayed away from the fried stuff. I just stuck with seafood and vegetables and I just had some soup. I did really well. I'm like wow.

Speaker 1:

It's great. Yeah, that's great. It's the same with. You know, we live in a world. Food is everywhere, right? So we have to do those first times. Same with drinking. It's a drinking world, it's everywhere. We do those first weddings, we do those first Christmases.

Speaker 1:

We get through that and we say, wow, that was a complete success and it was way easier than I thought. But the fear is real and it is there and I think it's important for listeners who are just maybe starting out. That is, you have to walk through that so that you know you can and the next time you go and you can be anywhere, you can be and go and do anything, just like anybody else, you know, with limitations. You know they say, like, have an exit strategy. If I go into a bar in New York, I go to the bar and I grab a water and I have it in my hand all the time. I don't want to put that down and pick something else up. No, no, no, mistakenly, nobody asked me about anything and I'm free to have my night. You know it's it's just simple tools.

Speaker 2:

They're very simple tools, and one simple tool for me that I've been utilizing in it does work is focusing on protein. Protein is so key because you're going to eat less of it, it fills you up even more and you have less of a desire to crave for sugar. I really don't eat much sugar and my blood sugar levels are amazing right now, so I want to keep it that way. Yeah, I mean, the ozepic helps, but also losing weight. So what are your? What are your?

Speaker 1:

go to suggestions for protein. So if somebody is predominantly eating sugar all the time and carbohydrates and bread, what are some good protein sources that they can all alternate with?

Speaker 2:

Okay. So I just want to just flat out say that I'm not vegetarian or vegan. I do eat meat, so that's. I'll just give that disclaimer out there. But if you are vegetarian or vegan, that's something also to look into because I'm not 100% sure. But I do eat a lot of fish, I eat chicken, I eat lean beef and I eat a lot of eggs. And nuts also are good in moderation because they're very high calorie, but they do fill you up.

Speaker 2:

Peanut butter in moderation, like everything in moderation, and also you. Really it's a bit it's better to stick with complex, like whole grain breads and stuff and crackers, whole grains, whole grains are very good. Very low glycemic, has low glycemic index, it's a slow release of insulin and all that. And there's also some really good. You know there's sweets as well that are very good for you. You know there's, they're good. The smart sweets, for instance, are quite good because very low sugar and it's a good snack to have. If you do have a bit of a sweet tooth and you know what, you still will. But look for low sugar, low calorie options and you know you can find them on Amazon.

Speaker 2:

Like smart sweets isn't good, is a good, good idea. Those are like gummies. Also, fruits, you know what? Like berries, especially berries are very sweet and apples are also good because there's a lot of fiber. Also, vegetables are important, but to stick to the ones that you like. You know what. I won't eat raw broccoli. It upsets my stomach. So if I like broccoli when it's cooked, so you know what you got. To stick with the foods that you like to.

Speaker 1:

And like naturally occurring sugars that happen within fruits. Yeah, yeah, oh good, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:

I mean you got to be careful, especially if you're diabetic. But you can still have it. Just because you're diabetic doesn't mean that you can't. You still need carbohydrates. You absolutely do. And you know what. Once in a blue moon it's okay to have a sweet. I mean, you know, it's okay if you say are going somewhere and it's a birthday and they have a delicious looking cake, have a piece, it's okay. But just eat it in moderation. And you know what. What you do one day. If you go over, just get right back to it the next day and don't feel guilty about it. Easier said than done. I totally understand that. But think about moderation. But the thing is, if you are a food addict and you are addicted to one type of food, stay away from it, because you know what. I know it's easy for others to say everything on moderation, but the thing is, if you're like, addicted to pasta, don't eat pasta.

Speaker 1:

then Because that's that's so interesting to me, because up until a couple of months ago, I was interviewing someone and they had said you know these foods, you're like, abstinent from them because you just and I never thought of that in relation to food. I thought of that. I think that's very important for alcoholics to abstain entirely from alcohol, absolutely. That's what I do, 100% but I never thought of that in relation to food that tip you off like high sugar. Whatever your go to is, whether it's ice cream or bread or whatever it is. And when I heard that it was like so eye opening to me, I thought, oh, you do exactly that, you know, and there's other alternatives, and that really changed it for me. Yeah, so hearing you say it as well, it's just probably something that, because I wasn't immersed in that whole world, because I was in the other, I didn't, I didn't put it to food. Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 2:

Well, for example, I stay 100% away from Nutella, like I don't have any of it, because, sure, even moderation with that's fine. But the thing is I'm even even if I am an Osempic I could still end up finding myself eating whole jar and just feeling awful after. So I'd rather just stay away from it. I don't buy it, I just stay away from Nutella. But peanut butter doesn't do that to me, so I'm able to eat that in moderation, no problem. So you got to focus on the foods that are you know you like but aren't totally addicted to. You can have those in moderation, like pizza. I have pizza once in a while, nothing wrong with that. A couple of slices here, small, it's fine, you know, I mean. I mean pasta. I have no problem with eating. I do have pasta a couple times a week. Whole wheat pasta is still a carb.

Speaker 2:

But you know what stick to your protein, like salmon. I ate a lot of salmon. You eat the protein first and then you have the carb after, because that does slow down. That does slow it down the, the release rate. It does slow it down. There is, there is a slight, there is science behind that. I've studied that enough. I've heard about it enough by professionals that if you eat your proteins and fiber first and then have your carbs after, you don't you don't have a blood sugar spike at all, even if you have simple carbs, that's good advice.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I wouldn't have known that. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

And you talked about complex carbohydrates, which my mother is a had has been a diabetic educator for many, many years and so and she's also a nutritionist and she talks a lot about that. So can you tell us the difference, or do you know the difference and could you just share that quickly?

Speaker 2:

Well, it's actually pretty basic. Yeah, the white, the white flour stuff is very high glycemic and that's the good cause your blood sugar to spike. The whole grains is low glycemic so it'll be a slow energy release, so it won't spike your blood sugar. It's a slow, slow, slow release. So it's better to stick with that. But you know what, if you absolutely love, say, a wrap, and it's a white wrap, you can still have it, but make sure you have your protein and fiber with it, because that'll still slow it down and that's because I I absolutely love these white wraps that I have for lunch. But I have egg, avocado. Avocado is actually very good and I put a little bit of cheese. It's about, I'd say, four, five hundred calories. But you know what? It's very, very healthy calorie. It's very healthy. So I mean, I do stick to around 1700 a day because I am losing on that. I'm probably gonna have to go a little lower soon because it's starting to slow. But yeah, that's the thing. You stick with proteins and healthy fats, healthy fats.

Speaker 2:

Monoinsaturates are good, like omega-3s. You do need fats to function for your hormones. It's so necessary for your brain. You need it. You just have to have the right, fats, right. So salmon, fish, just fish Nuts also have good fats. Avocado has good fats. So really that's what it is. You gotta focus on your proteins, getting enough fiber, getting good fats Also. Yeah, calorie, you gotta know basically what your maintenance is. If you wanna maintain, if you wanna lose, you just go around 300 to 500 below your maintenance level, and there are easy ways to calculate that, or you can always talk to a dietitian because you know what Some of these tools may not be 100% accurate. Everyone says, oh well, you gotta slap yourself on 12 under calories, like, oh, absolutely not, no, no, no.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and I wanna talk about that for a quick moment is because I think a lot of people say, hey, you know I wanna lose this, but they don't really have. They don't go that far. And I'm gonna do a comparison. Like when I was writing my rough draft of my book, I never went as far as to say, well, what genre is it? How many words usually go in this genre?

Speaker 1:

And then calculate out and then say, hey, by this deadline I'd like to have this completed. So backtrack. And then how many days do I need to do, how many words, to accomplish that goal? And when I did that calculation it was just math, it happened. And I think it can be related to this If you say, hey, I would like to achieve this by this time, I'd have to have this caloric intake, not to weigh and do all that, but just to have this caloric intake and not succeed that on a daily basis. Give or take. You know some freedom there and I think the end result will come a lot quicker and you'll have more motivation and momentum.

Speaker 1:

I know that it worked in a way.

Speaker 2:

Well, that's true. The thing is you gotta be very, very careful not to go too under, because that can mess your metabolism up a lot. Like I said, it was probably very stupid of me just to slap myself on 1500 calories when I was probably consuming 4,000 to 5,000 a day. That was probably stupid. I should have really gone to a dietitian. They probably would have said start at 2500 and scale down, because I would have lost initially on that for sure, right, even though that's above maintenance for women especially. But if you are eating in an extreme surplus like that, it's enough of a deficit to start getting you going in a healthy way.

Speaker 2:

So, honestly, the best thing to do is to work with someone professional and I don't know. Yeah, and honestly, I even looked at bariatric surgery, but I got terrified when I heard about what they do. I'm like, oh, no, no, no. And the cost of it. Like I know insurance can cover some of it, but I got scared off. I got absolutely scared off and I think it's quite drastic what they do. They put you on a liquid diet of very few calories a day and I don't know. I personally just got very scared off when I heard about it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and to also I love that you said you had an energy intake Everything's to focus on not just the caloric intake but to focus on how you're feeling, because you talked about emotional eating. So when you have an uptick in feeling good, say, hey, wow, this feels good, it's because I didn't do that. And then if you have energy and you say, well, I'm just going to go down the straight, I'm just going to go for a walk, see how I feel when I get back, and if that's a good feeling, to remember that and to say the next day say, wow, I felt good doing that, so I'm going to do that again. When you make better choices that do good, feel good, you make a good choice for yourself, you start to gain that confidence back. And when I head back out into the world, when sometimes things like this keep us so isolated and by ourself so those are a lot of the some positives that I can hear happen to you.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and I also want to mention a couple of things. You talk about nonscale victories, right. Tying your shoes I was like, oh my goodness, I don't have to struggle with, I can just bend down and tie my shoes. Cutting your toenails and it's so funny because I remember when I lost all that weight back in 2018, when I cut my toenails, I just totally had forgotten how I struggled. I just did it. Naturally, I was like, oh my goodness, I can't believe I'm doing this. So there's just all those small wins out there too.

Speaker 1:

Excellent, Excellent. Yeah, I really appreciate you having the courage to come on here and talk about so many of my guests. It's just incredible that they have the courage to come here talk about things they do behind closed doors because they've found ways out and they're just helping so many people. I just really appreciate that. Do you have anything you'd like to add to someone who is just struggling getting started?

Speaker 2:

Yeah. So I'd say the first thing to do is join a support group. There's lots of support groups on Facebook, like lots of support groups. Just look at some of the groups that have a lot of interaction. You don't want to join an old group that had only one post within the last month, right? So when you look for support weight loss or even emotional eating support there are so many groups on Facebook I would say, do that and also get yourself a professional if you're able to afford one.

Speaker 2:

I'm sure there's some really good online tools. There's online coaches that can help you and you know what? Don't be afraid to look into tools. Again, I'm not touting Monjaro or Ozepec or any of those, but there may be some other safer tools that you can use that don't depend on whether you're diabetic or not. So look into that, ask questions.

Speaker 2:

I'm talking about stuff that really works. Forget about the ones who are trying to advertise their scams, you know, because there's so much of it out there. Just be careful with that. But look into tools that might be able to help you as well if you really feel you need one, because sometimes you need it and you may have to stay on. I'm probably going to have to stay on this because of my diabetes as well. But I would say, look into tools if you feel you need it. Work with a professional if you're able to afford it. But again, there's so many apps online that can help support groups and this way, if you're with those who are supporting you, then you will have an easier time working through it and you'll find your own healthy coping mechanisms, like writing for me, but it might be art for you, it might be music for you, it might be something else. So I would say, do that.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, there's excellent. I think that's really excellent. As far as suggestions, I love the artistic outlets. I love that you're writing so much, and could you let listeners know where they could find you if they wanted to connect?

Speaker 2:

Oh, yes, I'm on so many places. I'm also a tarot reader too, and tarot is a great way for me to self-reflect too, but I understand this is not for everyone, but I'm on MiriamReadsTarocom. I'm also on Instagram, miriamreadstaro, I'm on Substack MiriamReadsTaro, and, if you want to look me up on LinkedIn, miriamrachel. And also I'm on Medium, because that's been my outlet, msmir, m-i-r. Mirmediumcom. That's where I am on Medium, if you're on there too. So that's basically where I am.

Speaker 1:

Okay, thank you so much. That's MsMirmediumcom. I'm also gonna put MiriamRachel's information in the show notes so that if anyone wanted to connect they could do that. And I appreciate so much you coming on and sharing not only all your struggles but all the victories. I think there's so much to take away putting down harmful habits, making positive change in your life people with food addictions they can completely relate. This has been a really incredible conversation. I'm so grateful that you came on to share today.

Speaker 2:

Thank you so much for the opportunity Miriam really glad to share. And again I wanna really make it clear I'm not a professional, I'm not an expert. I'm just sharing based on my experiences.

Speaker 1:

Thank you so much for being here.

Speaker 2:

Thank you as well. ["the.

Speaker 1:

Sober Living Stories Podcast"]. Thank you for tuning into the Sober Living Stories Podcast. If you have been inspired, consider subscribing and sharing with anyone who could use hope in their lives. Remember to stay tuned for more inspiring stories in the episodes to come. To view our featured author of the month or to become a guest yourself, visit wwwjessicastapanavikcom.