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Sober Living Stories
Welcome to the "Sober Living Stories" podcast, a platform built on the power of personal stories. Each Tuesday, Jessica Stipanovic, your host, shines a spotlight on individuals who have undergone remarkable life transformations to inspire hope in listeners worldwide.
Each guest shares their story giving examples of bold beginnings disguised as endings and life lessons that teach how the darkest moments often hold the key to unlocking the brightest light.
This podcast inspires positive life changes. Whether you're sober curious, living an alcohol-free lifestyle, have overcome a challenge and lived to tell about it, or support someone who wants to shed a habit in light of a new one, our episodes promise to leave you feeling understood, hopeful, and motivated to create meaningful transformations in your life.
Join us for powerful new episodes every Tuesday where the most difficult life experiences serve to uplift and inspire. Regardless of your background or belief system, the "Sober Living Stories" podcast is your ultimate destination for uplifting narratives where hope shines from the most unexpected places.
In addition to featuring our weekly guests, each month on the "Sober Living Stories" podcast, we have the privilege of sitting down with a new author, delving into their story and the wisdom they've shared in their book.
Here's the exciting part: their book becomes the giveaway for that month.
Tune in every Tuesday for brand-new episodes and your chance to win the gift of a transformed life.
Sober Living Stories
From Homelessness to Higher Education: Chris's Journey of Recovery
From homelessness to higher education, listen to this inspiring story and hear what happens when someone decides to use their hardest-won battle to help others win theirs. Meet this week's guest, Chris Cannon, a licensed mental health counselor who specializes in private counseling and interventions. He is a devoted husband, father of three, and owner of the Recovery House | 1st Avenue to Freedom | United States. With eighteen years of sobriety, Chris sits down with Jessica Stipanovic of The Sober Living Stories Podcast and pours through his troubled past to give us a better understanding of how the most sickened drug addicts can become the biggest advocates for recovery.
Finding freedom for the first time, Chris left home at ten years old. His middle school and teen years were spent surviving addiction on the streets. In the Navy, he found discipline but couldn't escape the grip of alcohol dependence, a battle that followed him through homelessness and ultimately led to moments of profound self-discovery. It was after Hurricane Hugo, with the help of the angels in blue and a transformative encounter with a 12-step program, that Chris's story took a turn towards the hope of a sober life. His sobriety story tells of the struggles but also shines a light on support systems and the power of personal choice.
Today, with eighteen years of sobriety, Chris Cannon has gone from homelessness to higher education and devotes his life to helping men find freedom from alcohol and drug addiction. Owner of the Recovery House | 1st Avenue to Freedom | United States, Chris helps men get clean and sober. If you or someone you know needs help, contact Chris Cannon at 386-295-5872, email chrisdrus@gmail.com, or visit Recovery House | 1st Avenue to Freedom | United States.
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Your story matters.
Welcome to the Sober Living Stories podcast. This podcast is dedicated to sharing stories of sobriety. We shine a spotlight on individuals who have faced the challenges of alcoholism and addiction and are today living out their best lives sober. Each guest has experienced incredible transformation and are here to share their story with you. I'm Jessica Stapanovic, your host. Join me each week as guests from all walks of life share their stories to inspire and provide hope to those who need it most. Welcome to another episode of the Sober Living Stories podcast. My guest today is Chris, a licensed substance abuse and mental health counselor. He's a devoted husband, father of three beautiful girls and recently experienced the joy of becoming a grandfather to yet another. Chris's owned First Avenue to Freedom Recovery House is for men in Daytona Beach, florida, for 16 years. Get ready to be inspired as Chris shares his journey from addiction to a career and the positive changes it brought to his life. Welcome, chris.
Speaker 2:Hey, hi Jessica, how are you?
Speaker 1:Good, good Thanks for joining us today. So if you could just start at the beginning of your life and bring us up and until that decision that you made to overcome addiction and help others do the same.
Speaker 2:Okay, well, definitely, I'm very happy to be here and happy that you asked me to do this, because I really do believe, like, without the hope that we have and help create for others that are suffering with addiction and other things, there's not much optimism in people's lives that are going through what they're going through. So I really believe it takes stories like ours to help these people. You know, going back, and when you asked me to do this, I started reflecting on my life and I thought, like you know, what could maybe be helpful to help some of these people that are listening, hopefully, and what I came up with was, you know, there's a lot of people that have addictions and there's a lot of people that have alcoholism and in a lot of the questions that they probably have are like why, you know, like why me and you know, it kind of kind of brings me back to like when I was a younger little boy and some of the reasons that I maybe came up with for like why I got into, the lifestyle I got into and the people I started hanging out with and stuff. And you know it kind of I'm not trying to like be a victim here or anything, I'm just trying to work through some of the things that were going on in my life when I first picked up drugs and alcohol. And what I can tell you is that, you know, as a little boy I was like always afraid, for whatever reasons, not really any justifiable or rationalized types of reasons just I felt afraid, you know, and I never felt a part of like the little circles of friends that were in the schools or in the neighborhood that I was living in and there was just like a weird thing that was going on with me that I didn't really see others going through. And you know, maybe they were, maybe they weren't I just really felt like I was like unique in that sense and it kept me isolated and withdrawn from others at that time, you know.
Speaker 2:And then something started happening in my early childhood where it was like I guess what you would say like a rationalized reason of why I would like protect myself. You know, without putting like too much out there, there was like some abuse going on, and verbally and physically, and and then it started with, like some of the neighborhood kids too, to where I started. You know you hear about it, and more so now than than back then but, like you know, I didn't realize it, but like I was actually being like bullied by some of the kids and it just started my life in a direction where I, like, just learned how to protect myself and become isolated and withdrawn. So it was happening in my family and it was happening in the neighborhood that I lived in and, you know, if there was any cause for reason of why I did and started to do what I did, I would say that would probably be one of the big, you know, turning points in my life that made me, like, seek out different types of ways to feel better and, and you know, keep myself safe. So, you know, at a young age, I ran away from home and you know, some people are like, wow, you were 10 years old when you ran away from home. That must have been really hard. And I can honestly say that's not how I felt about it.
Speaker 2:Like, when I actually left home at 10 years old, I felt free, I felt safe, I felt like it was like something that I needed to happen for me to, you know, take care of myself in a way where I wasn't getting harmed anymore. And, with that being said, you know what happened then was I met some people that I thought really had my best interest at heart and they took care of me, you know, and it wasn't until a few years later that I realized, wow, I probably shouldn't be hanging out with these people, you know, because they were doing things and having me do things that you know. I just knew this internal right from wrong and and I knew, like some of the stuff that I was doing was wrong, you know, and I had not really realized it until I was about 13, that I had become addicted to certain sub substances that they were sort of feeding me, you know, like I was. They weren't force feeding me, of course. I was doing it, and I felt a part of and and I liked the feeling of like that I got from it and so I continued to do it, and it wasn't really until about 13, when there was a few nights where we didn't have the stuff that they were giving us and and I started feeling sick. So then I knew like I was in trouble, you know, and basically at 13, I really knew like I had this overpowering need for the substances that they were giving me and and from there on it was a, you know, it was an awareness that I had like, wow, I need this stuff, you know. However, I couldn't quit doing it, you know, and then what I realized was some of the things we were doing was because we needed this stuff and I wasn't the only one in that group of people that needed it and we just kept, you know, moving on and doing whatever it took to get what, what we can get, so we can continue being high from this stuff.
Speaker 2:And at that time, all was just like a little bit in in my life and it wasn't like a major contributor to, to my addiction, however it was. It was there, you know, and it was easy, accessible and and I never really liked the taste of it or anything. So, I mean you, if you look at that and you think, like, why would you do something you don't like the taste of? You know, maybe that's one of the one of the signs that you might have a problem, you know, but at this point in my life, it it was really like, uh, I felt desired. I felt like the people I was hanging out with cared about me and I cared about them and and I was a part of something you know, and you know you think about it at that age like you're supposed to be in school You're supposed to be, like learning You're supposed to be. You know the society's picture of what a 13 year old should be doing. That wasn't happening in my life.
Speaker 2:I was homeless, we were living in the woods, we were living in abandoned buildings. We were you know, we were. We were living on the streets, we were hustling, we were scamming, we were doing things like a typical 13 year old kid and 15, 14 year old child shouldn't be doing. And I just got caught up in that lifestyle and it was never really a big deal to me and I didn't think there was too much wrong with it until, like, I started hearing stories of some of my older friends that I grew up within the neighborhood that I lived in. You know they were like finishing high school and moving on to like college and had these relationships with women that they were happy with. And, you know, all the regular things started happening to the people that I grew up with and I started wondering, like, why isn't that happening for me? You know, and you know not to tell too much of the story of my whole life, but just to maybe hit significant time periods where stuff started opening my awareness up to what. You know what my dilemma was. The void that I had inside of me, you know, was not being filled anymore by the people I was hanging out with and I started wanting more for myself and for my life. And, you know, it was just like a harder time.
Speaker 2:And what happened then was I, like, was hanging out in a mall and one of these recruiter stations was in the mall for the, for the military, and we would like panhandle money and stuff to enough to get like like a case of barrens and whatever drugs you know, and and we asked this recruiter, this navy recruiter, if he would help us out with a few dollars. And he said, you know what, I'll buy you lunch. And he sat down with us and bought us McDonald's in the mall and basically talked you know, I was 17 now and he talked us, and me and my friend, into, like, maybe joining in the military, you know. And what happened after that was, like you know, I wasn't 18 yet I was about four or five months away from being 18 and and this guy, like took me under his wing for the next few months and told me that you know, at this time I could take this test and then I'll be, you know, I could join the military. And he's like, the only test I have to pass is a test which is your analysis.
Speaker 2:So for the next four months, the first time in my life, I was trying to like not do drugs. And I realized, like how severely addicted I was, you know, and I could not stop. And it got down to like three days before I was going to take the UA for the military and I still couldn't stop doing what I was doing. And you know, at that point you could probably take a UA on me and I would have probably failed for at least three or four substances and as well as with alcohol, you know. So I was pretty much putting whatever would come my way into my body and into my mouth and and I just could not stop and but I took the UA anyway. He's like, are you going to pass this UA? And what did we say? Yes, of course I'm going to pass this.
Speaker 2:UA and I took it anyway and I'll tell you what. About a week later he he called me up and or I called him up because I didn't have a phone he told me to call him in about a week to check on the results and he said look, he said you know. He said I don't know what happened. He's like the UA wasn't clean. However, we're going to give you a chance anyway.
Speaker 2:And you know and yeah. So, like they took, they took me in the military at that age and put me on the delayed entry program, basically until I actually did turn 18, which was less than 30 days after that happened. And so I thought, okay, great, I'm going to quit drinking, I'm going to quit doing drugs, I'm going to be in the military. Now, you know, and and that was my real intention, like that's really what I wanted to do I thought maybe you know that my mom would hear about it and she would be proud of me and and that kind of stuff would start happening and my life would change for the better. And so I went into the military, basically, and what happened there was I found a whole bunch of other people that were sort of in the same boat as me.
Speaker 1:You know, that's a pun because it was the Navy and I was going to ask a branch of the military. It was.
Speaker 2:It was the Navy, yeah yeah, so it was the Navy and I went through boot camp and I got to tell you like boot camp was a very an awakening experience for a guy who never had any discipline, never learned how to do like the basic things that most people know how to do at that time, like make your bed and all that stuff, you know, and and I was like the I was the guy on the company that would get the whole company in trouble because my bed wasn't made or my locker was messy or they caught me.
Speaker 2:They would catch me like smoking cigarettes in the bathroom or you know stuff like that, and everybody would get mad at me and we would do like marching parties. And so what happened really was I did an eight week boot camp and 13 weeks it took me, but I I survived and I got through it, and I could probably say that was one of the major turning points in my life where I felt like, okay, I'm doing something that's, you know, admirable and positive and a step forward into a better future. You know, however, on graduation from boot camp, you know, after 13 weeks of no drugs, no alcohol, they give you a free pass and they let you go out and, you know, celebrate, and what happened was the group of guys I went out with we all got drunk, of course, you know. And yeah, and then I started. Then I started to learn, okay, these, you know, even though you can't do drugs, you can drink alcohol, and that's what happened for the next four years.
Speaker 2:Basically, I did a lot of things in the Navy. I was, I was pretty successful as far as, like, I went to a lot of the schools I, you know, went. I was on a submarine for about two and a half years and the reason I did that was because they just kept offering me like more schooling and, and that's what I did in the whole time. I was supposed to get my GD and I never got my GD and I don't know why. They let me continue as they did, but I just, you know, they just let me. So what happened was about a year and a half into it I decided, like I do not like the ocean.
Speaker 2:I don't want to go out on a, on a big ship out in the middle of the ocean and be a sitting duck, and then they off. That's when they offered me submarine school and that's what I ended up doing and I and I was in school for about another year until until I was done with all that, and then they, you know, I was on a submarine school and then I was on submarines and what happened you know about I don't know, about 60 days before my last tour. And then I got to know the car that I was frequently with others that I was hanging out with and and I started doing cocaine and drinking, because cocaine gets out of your system quicker. I thought, maybe, that I wouldn't get caught, but what you know, they they talk about the phenomenon of craving that with an alcoholic. Well, it also happens with a cocaine addict, you know. And I got to the right. I got to the point where, like, I could not stop doing cocaine and they always did a UA on the whole boat and I had to go out to sea because we were in, we were a nuclear submarine and we, you know we're messing with missiles and torpedoes and you know high tech stuff, and so they would do a UA. And I did a UA and I failed.
Speaker 2:And what they offered me then was they offered me treatment. I turned it down. I said no way, I don't want to do that. I just want to get out of the Navy, I don't want to be here anymore. And so I was discharged with the other than honorable discharge from from the United States Navy. And I say that because, like To me, when I was in there up until I started going out to see, I loved what I was doing. I felt good about myself. I knew that my family was proud of me. You know, like some of my friends my past friends that I grew up with were proud of me that I had been doing something different to change my life, and I loved it basically, other than going out to see, and it and and drugs and alcohol basically took over and and took that away from me again Another thing in my life that I just kind of gave up, you know.
Speaker 1:Let's just go back for a moment, because you know, at 10 years old, to be that young and to leave home.
Speaker 1:you know and it was interesting because you said you know most you left because of fear, but you felt a huge sense of freedom when you left and that it was the right choice and it was kind of like an act of survival in a sense, like that's a brave act to to a 10 year old boy to leave his home and to to then continue to live where most kids are going to middle school 11, 12, 13, 13 on I think it was 13 until you had said about what it was. At seven, four years you were homeless, living on the street and stuff.
Speaker 1:I mean that's like survival mode all that time, and you know, drugs took you and then. But what I find interesting is like when you started to look at your other friends or hear about them, you had that in you that you said hey, you know, I want to turn this around, or I'd like to, and then, you had met that recruiting officer, that one person.
Speaker 1:A lot of people have, a person that comes in and kind of gives them a little bit of light and takes them under their wing, and he seems to be the first person that did that for you and that kind of put you in a different direction and gave you all these different life experiences, even though you had that discharge. You did have that. You know that would have been that much more time on the street but it was that much more time in the military, you know.
Speaker 1:So it could have been a life saving mission, you know, in itself. And then what happens next for you?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean exactly Everything you said is for real, you know, and there's a few other stories in between where there was other people that came into my life and different situations where, like they were offering to help me and trying to help me and you know, the disease of alcoholism and drug addiction is so cunning, like it'll tell you, you know you don't need the help just like at the end of the Navy, like if I would have, just who knows what would have happened, you know, if I would have accepted the help with them. You know a lot of my friends I grew up with ended up serving 30 years in the military, you know, and who knows if that would have happened or not? In our programs that talks about we don't regret the past, you know and I don't regret that at all.
Speaker 2:However, you know, it does make me wonder, like, what if I would have done this, or what if I would have did that, you know? Or if I would have followed them directions instead, you know what, how different my life would be, and I wouldn't want to change it. You know, I love my life today. It's really good, it's interesting, it's fun to be able to, like you know, pretty much have almost every sort of like situation that's happened in my life. I can have empathy for others that have had some of the same situations in their life, so I wouldn't trade that for anything, you know. So after the Navy, you know it was a quick downward spiral again to what am I going to do. I feel like I lost my identity, you know, because I was like a military guy now. Now I was ashamed, I felt bad, I was insecure and I heavily went back to the drugs because now I could, and I could get away with it and no one's going to stop me from doing it and the drinking, you know, in the Navy had increased tremendously and I just for about a year I was like off the chain completely, you know, and I was about 22. Then, and another significant thing that happened was I had I was living in South Carolina and I, you know, the night before I was in this abandoned apartment and I went to the woods with this homeless guy because I didn't have any food and he had some alcohol and I didn't have any money, you know. So I'm like hanging out with this homeless guy in the woods and he catches this what they call a mudfish, you know, and and I'm like wow, that's pretty cool. I'd never seen that before. All the years I had been homeless, I'd never experienced this. And and he lit, made a fire and he's like cooking this mudfish, and I guess it was like a big catfish or something, you know, but they called it mudfish. And and as I was eating this thing and we were drinking some nasty whiskey that he had like bottom of the shelf type of whiskey, and it hit me like man, what the heck am I doing?
Speaker 2:You know, like, so the next day after that, I made it back to this apartment and someone knocked on the front door and it was one of my uncles that my aunt, my dad's sister, had been married to. And he's like Christian and like oh my God, and I remember trying to shut the door and he put his foot in between the door and the and the door jam and and he opened it up and he's like, hey, man, he's like, look, you know, we want to try to help you. And I was like wow, and I just broke down, you know, and I started crying and and it was significant because, like I thought, like my family didn't care anymore and this had been probably about a year, nine months maybe, after I had been discharged from the Navy. So I was hiding it from them, I thought. But they already knew. You know, they got a letter right away saying that I was other than honorably discharged and trying to find me and reach out to me.
Speaker 1:So they were looking for you that whole time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they were looking for me, you know, and it was significant like they didn't do anything other than that, really, because I, of course, turned away the help. What it just made me like start to think differently, you know, and what happened a few days after that was Hurricane Hugo and I ended up, yeah, with a friend of mine from the bar.
Speaker 2:We ended up well, he ended up renting a car and driving to Florida and I ended up in Florida like a week after hurricane Hugo hit and I never went back after that, yeah, so what happened here in Florida was another significant turn of events was I'm homeless With this guy and we're like walking down a when, a and he's like, hey, let's go to detox.
Speaker 2:And I didn't know what detox was, but he told me it's a place that we could go to. You know, we could sleep, they'll give you food and they'll probably even give you some kind of drug to help you, like, cope, you know, yeah, so I ended up going to detox at that age. What happened in detox was I heard some stories from some people that came in there from a 12-step program that Made me realize like, wow, you know, this is me, I relate to them and and maybe, if I do what they're doing, maybe, maybe it'll help me not continue on the path that I was on, you know. So I went to 28-day program after detox instead of just going out onto the street, and the 28-day program taught me about the disease of alcoholism, like I always thought like I'm crazy, I had no will, I had no self-control, I don't. I never really understood why I couldn't stop.
Speaker 1:You know like when I didn't want to do it.
Speaker 2:I would always do it anyway, no matter what the circumstances that were in front of me like important things that I had to do, it wasn't. It wasn't enough to keep me from stopping, you know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I can relate to that completely, because it wasn't until I was around people who Taught me what the disease of alcoholism was, that I even knew that. That you know. I I thought, like you, like I am not pulling it together, I am, you know, showing signs and symptoms of other things, and so we think that's the problem and we go down that avenue and and it's not until you really understand what you're dealing with that you can put a name on it and start to Think about getting better. You know, you know those people who brought that 12-step meeting to detox. You know I can remember 15 years ago bringing 12-step meetings to detox and thinking no one's listening.
Speaker 1:You know, and I know that today, that that someone is listening, because you hear this time and again. You know Well, when this group came out here and they were talking, I just caught a sentence and and it stuck with me and then they, they took a different turn when they were let out.
Speaker 2:So that service is so important, you know, to which is a lot of what you do today, but yeah, I mean you know you're right about that too, because I was the guy in that meeting or those meetings during the detox when, like after the meeting, they would come up and try to talk to me and I'd be like, uh, I don't want to talk to you, you know, and I would like walk away. But I was listening, you know, and and it's really cool to To realize that what you just said, because I know a few guys from going to detox meetings where they were the last ones we would have thought Would want to call, like come into a meeting and and get sober, because Looking at him during the meeting, you just thought they were like completely out of it and they weren't listening.
Speaker 2:Yes and they really were listening, you know, and I was one of those guys too, because I was really listening. I laugh about it now with, like some of the stuff like my dad would tell me when I was little, or my mom would say, or my sisters would say, or some older, you know, adults at that time were trying to tell me things to like help me, but I would act as if I wouldn't listen or pay attention to what they were saying. But in reality, like I did, this is a disease. It's not, it's not entirely my fault. However, knowing like, okay, I have this disease and now I'm aware of of you know what, what it does to me and what it the potentially Fadleness of it, if I don't do certain things now, that it's going to get me and it's going to be the end of me, you know, or even worse, I'm going to end up living in this prison cell or Whatever, because of the ways and means to get more of the lifestyle I was living that you know I would have eventually ended up there too, you know.
Speaker 2:You know I have a whole pattern of my life where it was always Someone else's fault, like I remember I was in a meeting at a young. You know, I think I was maybe 22, maybe it was like the first year of going to meetings, but I had told this story of my life and how I was like abused in all different ways and and, and you know, you too would drink and get high if you had the life I had. And this old timer like spoke up and he's like, yeah, but you're, you're 20 something years old now, man, what are you going to do about it? What are you going to do about it, like you're going to keep going down this way because of that, you know, or are you going to like take some sort of responsibility and do something For yourself so that you don't keep living that way? You?
Speaker 2:know, and it was so it was so profound. I mean, yeah, duh. It's sort of easy Now looking back, but back then I was really caught up in the blame and I was caught up in the reasons why I did what I did. And you know the disease wants to, like, isolate you, it wants to keep you withdrawn, it wants to keep you by yourself so it can work on you to where you actually Will pick up a drink again or get high again or whatever your thing is. You know you're going to do it again unless you Are continuously, um, on a daily basis, doing the things you need to do to stay healthier, so that it doesn't take over. Like.
Speaker 2:I remember surrendering to the disease. You know, I remember I came to under the bridge one day and and I just thought like I don't care anymore, I'm going to keep just doing this until I die, and um, and I just went like deeper and deeper and you think you can't get any deeper, but you can, you know, and, and whatever freedom of choice I have at that moment I surrendered it to, like just the you know, some people Call it the affidth, you know, and I surrendered to, to that Basically, and I had never done that in my life before. That was the first time. I was like, I was like 37 years old and um, and I given up. You know I had a. My daughter was at the time. She was like God four, I think four or five, and I had been in and out of her life already like too many times. You know, I wasn't there for her at all, it was just too much, you know.
Speaker 1:Yeah it sounds like you made a decision to just not be there. You didn't care about the outcome. Like you said, you surrendered to the disease. So what changed after that that made you turn around?
Speaker 2:So within a few days I was worse than I ever probably could have been mentally. I was just doing whatever it took. I was walking into stores and just grabbing alcohol and asking for some cigarettes and acting like I was going to pay, and then they would give me cigarettes and I would have the alcohol and I would just walk out, you know, and they would be yelling and jumping over the counters and you know stuff like that was happening. I started thinking, man, I'm going to like rob a bank or rob a store or something like really off the chain. You know something that just would like put me away for a long time. If I ever actually did that and got caught.
Speaker 2:And you know what happened was I was walking down the street, like I always was, and you know if a policeman would see me, you know the angels in blue. I didn't call them that then, but I get it now Like that's really what they were, you know, and a lot of these police officers in the area would pull over, do a UE and come back to me and they would always sit me down and talk to me. Every one of them. They never, ever tried to like act like they were better than me or anything. You know they would search me a lot of times.
Speaker 2:I wouldn't have anything on me and then they would talk to me, you know, and at that time I got, you know, they pulled me over and I had some stuff on me and I remember he's like put me in the back of the car and I felt relieved, like. I felt so relieved like, oh my God, thank you. You know, if you're really there, thank you for this. And you know it's not something to say when you're going in the back of a police car if you're a normal person, you know.
Speaker 2:And I did, and I thought, wow, you know, this is pretty cool, like I'm going to get some rest now. And that's what happened. You know, something happened to me on that drive to the county jail, where I just like surrendered again, you know, like I said okay, and from that day, from that next morning, when I woke up, came to whatever you know, however it is. I made a commitment then like I'm going to go to the AA block, I'm going to put a request in to go to where they have those meetings, you know, and I'm going to do whatever I got to do to make this like different. And I started doing that.
Speaker 2:And a year later, when I got out of jail as usual, I would get out of jail and I would swear I was going to be living right and I wasn't going to get high and I wasn't going to drink the thought came to me and you know they talk about the obsession and our books of how we get that obsession and we can't stop once we get that obsession.
Speaker 2:And that's what happened. I had this obsession and I got off the bus where I shouldn't have got off, and I walked into the store and I had $1.88 in my pocket. That's all I had when the police arrested me a year before and it was enough to buy a 40 ounce or I think it was like $1.75. And I reached in 32 ounce or and I reached in the cooler and I was going to grab this 32 ounce or and you know, it wasn't no profound voice or anything, but something just said don't do it. And I put it down and I was thirsty but I didn't grab anything else to drink. I just walked out of the store. You know, I kept walking down and I was walking where I was headed was I was going to the Palmetto house because I had reserved a bed there.
Speaker 2:While I was in jail, one of the CEOs said hey man, why don't you try this this time? And he had never done that before. I knew him by name, you know, and he knew me by name and he's like man, you're, you got to do something different, otherwise you're going to keep hanging up.
Speaker 1:Well, that's what I was just. I was just thinking of that. I'm like wow, that's a really big moment because you, your hand was in that cooler and you decided to do something different, that that small change, something different. Like you know, and you know, if you want something different, you have to do things differently. And that's like the first time you said no, I'm not going to do that. Right, the very first time I said no, I've never said that yeah. And.
Speaker 2:I was starting to walk down the street and I was like looking for cars maybe a dope dealer would see me and you know, and I'm fighting this obsession in my head and I'm like please, god, if you're really there, please just help me get to where I'm going. You know, I don't want to do this anymore and, like you know, I believe like the higher power really knows what's in your heart. To this day, like I'd never thought that before, but to this day, I know now like he had my best interest. You know, like he helped me get through it, and not only that, he gave me that experience of going through it to help me feel that you know right to give me the strength, the power that he gives you when, when you ask for the help.
Speaker 2:You know, and uh, but here it is again. My disease kicked in as I approached the next store and I swear to you, I was heading into that store and I heard voices along the side of the building and I look over and there's people sitting on the wall over there and they're getting out of their cars and they're all headed into this little. It was a little clubhouse and I know you know the clubhouse I'm talking about. And instead of going in the store, I went into that meeting. It was a meeting. I figured there's a meeting time, right then, you know, no coincidence, and um, and I walk into that meeting and uh, it was scary to walk in there and I saw these people and some of them were familiar.
Speaker 2:My sponsor was sitting in there and he was behind the coffee, my ex sponsor from one of the treatment centers that I went to. He was my sponsor at that time and he reaches out his hand and he's like man, I've been waiting for you and I thought, no way you weren't waiting for me. I wrote you letters in the jail and you never sent me any money. You know you never wrote me a letter back, nothing. And what are you talking about? But my insecurity was so strong I reached out and shook his hand anyway. You know, like I couldn't. I could not not shake his hand because I was so insecure, and I'm glad I did. I shook his hand and I sat down and I had no idea what the meeting was about. I just remembered something in my head was just saying that's going to be your sponsor again. You know that's going to be your sponsor. And at the end of the meeting I went up to him. I said look. I said can you please be my sponsor? I can't do this on my own.
Speaker 2:And he said yeah, you know, he said, as long as you're willing to do a few things. And and he's like well, you know, this guy's an atheist, slash agnostic, he calls himself to this day, calls himself that and he said, and I said I don't know if I could be willing to do those things. And he said, well, you maybe need to pray for willingness. And you know how profound is that, an agnostic, atheist guy telling me to pray, you know, for willingness. And you know, from that that day forward, it's been nothing but uphill, uphill, go. You know, like, so that was 18 years ago, right so.
Speaker 2:That was 18 years ago and you have not had any alcohol or drugs since 18 years.
Speaker 1:I put.
Speaker 2:I put nothing in my body that affects me, from the head up, you know. So that's incredible.
Speaker 1:So from that moment that you reached into that cooler and you just made that small shift and did something different, All of these things start to happen. You know the voices, these people start to be placed in front of you. So so tell us a little bit listeners, because your life from what you just described is so different today I mean, you have everything that you could possibly want and tell us a little bit about what your life looks like today as a result of that decision back then.
Speaker 2:Like, one of the big things for me was like I never got my GED, you know. So one of the big things was, after about a year, my sponsor he's like look man, you know, go get your GED, you know. And so I went and got my GED and from that day forward it was like nothing but education. You know, like I wanted an education. I thought like, okay, you know, had enough common sense to know, like if you want to be a certain thing, you got to have the education to do it and the piece of paper that shows you. So I got an AS degree in addictions. You know, it was a special course that they just started at Daytona State back then. And then I, you know, from that AS degree, I took a few more classes and got an AA degree, which is, you know, just a general AA degree so that you can go for your bachelor's. And I thought, okay, you know what's wrong with me, what's wrong with me and the alcoholism thing wasn't everything that was wrong with me. I had a lot of other issues. So I thought let me take psychology, like a lot of us addicts, do you know? So I got it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I got a bachelor's, a BS in psychology and after that I thought I had some opportunities that were sort of handed to me. I guess you know I was. I started working at a treatment center an outpatient treatment center with the guy in town that owns some recovery houses and and I started living at that one of those houses and became a house manager there and I ended up like doing the deal there. I got, you know, finished my bachelor's degree there and worked at the treatment center and they let me do believe it or not, they let me start like doing groups and stuff. And I was like you know they say after 90 days you could, you probably want to be a counselor. It took me about a year and a half to like, realize, like okay, maybe I could be a counselor.
Speaker 1:And I wanted to relate to other alcoholics and addicts and someone who lived it Right you know how. How better to show somebody how to get out of that?
Speaker 2:So like I found this new freedom inside of myself and good feelings that I got from from helping others and I just went full force with it. You know like I thought, okay, the first time I got sober and clean, I've started a painting business and thought that was like if I make some money and get a house and marry the girl, you know that my life would get good. But this time around I realized like I need to be in the middle of this thing, because if I'm not in the middle of it, I'm just going to fall off.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that is so true. No.
Speaker 2:I then now went, started going for my master's degree and some of the people in there were very inspiring, you know. So I had saved some money and I had some financial help After paying all my debts off and I was able to. You know, when the market was, the housing market was really bad back then. It was actually good for me because you purchase some properties.
Speaker 2:I purchased one house that was really cheap at the time and that was the original first Avenue to freedom, and then from there, I like, two more years later I bought another house and then a few years later after that, I bought another one and you know, now we have 26 beds for guys that are like, hopefully coming from where at least I came from. If not, you know better than that. Even I like to help the guys that were like low bottom trunks we call from the streets because that's what I consider myself to be, but I'll help anybody. Really that that comes to us I can't believe. You know, within 10 years I had a master's degree and I'm about a year away from having a PhD in psychology. I put it off for a while because I got, you know, I have little toddlers now and then new marriage that I'm in.
Speaker 1:You went from going to five different high schools to get your GD and now you're a year away from your PhD.
Speaker 2:Right, exactly, it's incredible.
Speaker 1:You know they say some of the lowest bottoms, you know become some of the biggest advocates for change when they get well. And you know, from living being homeless for your middle school years, your high school years, to now having almost a PhD and having a complete facility for men 26 beds to help people who are exactly like where you were, is absolutely incredible. You know, and to turn around and use that for that it's just a really huge testament to like what can happen if you put it down and keep it down and start to change your life. It's amazing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it really is. It amazes me. I don't feel like it's anything I did, I just feel like it's like a gift from like. We get another life if we surrender to a higher power and we surrender to like other people that have done what we're trying to do and walk before us that, like your whole life can change.
Speaker 1:you know, and you had mentioned, you know, not being in your daughter's life when she was four or five sure. How has your walk as a father changed in sobriety?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, you know I got sober when she was 10. You know, kids are very resilient, as as was I to, you know, and I could just say, like she forgave me right away. She just wanted me in her life, she wanted to have a dad that was healthy, and she was very wise that.
Speaker 1:You know, I remember her telling me.
Speaker 2:I remember telling me this at ten years old and I said, well good, you know, like I'm just gonna try to be there for you as much as I can be there for you and do whatever I can do for you. And you know, one of the greatest gifts of sobriety is like that's been possible to do that for her.
Speaker 2:You know, like I've went to her, I I've had her sweet 16 birthday party, I, I Bought her the first car first couple car, you know and helped her get through college and all that stuff, just yeah, and now we have a granddaughter from her. She's married to this really nice guy. You know that's yeah, it's pretty cool, it's really cool.
Speaker 1:She's absolutely beautiful and completely talented. She's a photographer, is that correct?
Speaker 2:Yeah, she's a photographer, she does. She's, you know, with the new baby. She's kind of taking a break from all that and she's just being a new mom and that kind of stuff is going on right now. So, but, yeah, she, she did it on her own for a while and she'll probably do it again. I would imagine Well, yeah, and I got too beautiful. I got a two-year-old and a four-year-old, about two and a four-year-old.
Speaker 1:Two.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's crazy how like being clean and sober and I'm there every day present and you're, and you're a complete girl dad.
Speaker 2:All girls. That's a whole nother subject. Yeah, yeah, definitely a great life. You know, one of the greatest things I ever heard in the beginning was stick around till the miracle happens. I would go to meetings long enough to realize like, hey, you know, if they got sober, so can I. And no matter how hard the day was or what was going on, I would try to stick around until the miracle happens. And what? What I came to believe was that the miracle had happened from the day.
Speaker 1:I had happened.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it had already happened and it can happen for you.
Speaker 1:Where can people connect with you and with First Avenues to Freedom?
Speaker 2:They can always call me at my phone number three, eight, six, two, nine, five, five, eight, seven, two. You know, if I can't help you I can pretty well get you to where you need to get some help. I have a lot of resources and people I know in the community that can pretty much help with almost anything that's going on in your life.
Speaker 1:To connect with Chris or inquire about his services, visit first Avenue to freedom calm. That will also be in the show notes if you're driving and you can't write that down, so be sure to check that out and reach out if you or someone you know needs help. Thank you for tuning into the sober living stories podcast. If you have been inspired, consider subscribing and sharing with anyone who could use hope in their lives. Remember to stay tuned for more inspiring stories in the episodes to come to view our featured author of the month or to become a guest yourself. Visit wwwjessicastapanavikcom.