Sober Living Stories

Emotional Empowerment: A Counselor's Journey Beyond Food Addiction

• Jessica Stipanovic • Season 1 • Episode 22

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Have you ever struggled with emotional eating?

Today, I have a heartfelt conversation with Jennifer Schrappe, where she talks about her experience with eating disorders and how her struggles with food addiction shaped her career in counseling others toward healing.

Jennifer uncovers the harsh edges of bullying, loneliness, and the paradox of teaching others while wrestling with her demons, as so many counselors do.  It's a conversation that defines food addiction and gives practical advice to those who desire positive change.

Together, we navigate the principles of Bright Line Eating, dissecting the complexities of addiction as a coping mechanism and the process of restoring one's emotional health. We talk about the power of holding oneself accountable, the fine line between nourishment and emotional fulfillment through food, and how maintaining progress can be a triumph in its own right.

Jennifer's journey serves as a testament to the transformative potential within us all, and our conversation is an inspiration for anyone seeking to find freedom from compulsive behavior and step into a life with purpose and connection.

Click below for your FREE Find Peace and Hope with Money mini-course   https://www.simplytakethatstep.com/phwm-mini-course

Visit her website Home (chrysalis.enterprises) or connect with Jennifer Schrappe during the week, click below: Peace and Hope with Money FB page: (5) Facebook

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Your story matters.

Speaker 1:

Welcome to the Sober Living Stories podcast. This podcast is dedicated to sharing stories of sobriety. We shine a spotlight on individuals who have faced the challenges of alcoholism and addiction and are today living out their best lives sober. Each guest has experienced incredible transformation and are here to share their story with you. I'm Jessica Stepanovic, your host. Join me each week as guests from all walks of life share their stories to inspire and provide hope to those who need it most. Welcome to another episode of the Sober Living Stories podcast. My guest today is Jennifer Schwabe. Jennifer specializes in addiction and recovery, with a particular focus on trauma and emotional healing. Get ready to be inspired as Jennifer opens up about her personal story and how making positive change in her own life has allowed her to help so many others. Welcome, Jennifer. Thank you for having me. It's so common for professionals to select careers that have been instrumental in their own personal growth. Could you tell us about yourself, your personal challenges and how they led to a career in counseling?

Speaker 2:

Absolutely so. You will find that a lot of therapists have their own background of woundedness, have their own background of difficulty, and I am no different. So when I was very young, my parents divorced and I remember at that time thinking like right before they divorced, thinking, wow, our family. You know there are so many bad things that happen in the world. You know hurricanes and tornadoes and earthquakes and fires, and you know my family has been spared from from all of these huge, catastrophic things that a lot of people deal with. And then, it wasn't much time after that, that I found out that they were splitting up and we were all living in Alaska at the time. They're originally from Northern Kentucky, but we're living in Alaska at the time and that was the state where I was born and I loved it up there and it was beautiful and I loved my life. And all of a sudden, just it's gone. Like my mom and siblings and I moved back down to Kentucky. Our father stayed in Alaska. I hardly saw him after that and, additionally, I thought that it was my fault. I thought that it was my fault that they were splitting up.

Speaker 2:

So after that I became just so withdrawn and just I was suffering. I was really suffering and I soothed myself with food. Food was always a focal point in our growing up years our family of origin, our extended family, and I found that I could commiserate with my mom over eating and that was very comforting. That was very, very comforting and so I started turning to the food more and more. So then I started putting on weight and between that and being depressed and withdrawn, that meant that at my new school I wasn't making friends. Kids tried, but I wasn't making friends. I was just isolated myself and created like this identity was created of of Jennifer being the, the fat, lonely loser.

Speaker 2:

And then you know, we're, we're growing up more and more and as we get into middle school, kids are getting mean and they're bullying me and I just took their. I took their taunts and their words as truth. I took it on as truth and that just I retreated even further and that went on for years and years and years. And so things got better and, thank God, you know, in college I met this wonderful man and we got married shortly out of college and the Lord was really doing something beautiful in my life. And around that time I heard of a field called Christian counseling and I thought, oh wow, if I could do that and Jesus was involved, if I could help people, that would be amazing. That would be such a blessing, and that's what led me to this field.

Speaker 1:

I can relate with you as far as going to something. After the dynamics of my family separated, I went to go help them and then, in order to help myself, the only thing that I did was look to alcohol and I increased my alcohol intake. So I can definitely relate with you on that, as you went to be comforted with food, you know, with your mom and such and um. That's often what so many people do, not thinking it's something bad or unhealthy until it becomes. You know this habit and this excess and then we change. Can you speak to a little bit about how that change takes place? You know, know in our bodies that gets us to that point when we are addicted.

Speaker 2:

Yes. So what happens is there's this intense need, there's great pain, there's emptiness and any addiction, as awful as it is, it is not the actual problem. It's problematic, it has serious ramifications, obviously, but it is actually pointing to a problem. So, in my case, my overindulgence with food was pointing to the emptiness and the sadness and the loneliness and the guilt and everything that I was dealing with inside the substance that a person feels like he or she must have in order to must have in order to feel better, in order to escape that. Nothing else will work that thing.

Speaker 2:

So there's the obsession, there's the overuse, there's the emptiness without it, there's the fact that it, it just it dominates so much of life. When there's a difficulty, it's that first response, like if I, if I had a difficult day, I'm gonna go to go home and eat. That's what I'm going to do. Or, you know, as I got older, I'm going to go get some fast food. That's what I'm going to feel better when I, when I get me some really junky, fatty, unhealthy fast food and stuff myself with it, I'm going to feel better. So when it, when it is that presence and we can't live without it, then we are in the realm of addiction.

Speaker 1:

Okay, and it's temporary and it's destructive. So we have to find healthier measures. So let's go back to your story and your decision, to your interest in becoming a counselor, as you were doing unhealthy behaviors in your life, but you're like, hey, you have this pull and drive to become a counselor. Can you take us there?

Speaker 2:

So that's been this paradox, because I went back to graduate school and I'm realizing as the years go on just how much had to be unraveled and reprogrammed for me emotionally, cause I was in grad school doing a lot of the same behaviors that I was in like elementary school, where I was certain I would be rejected and so better for me to just withdraw before, you know, I make an attempt and people come to reject me.

Speaker 2:

So there were still so many, there's still so much emotional stuff, and at that time I did not have, nor did I yet gain the fuller understanding of food addiction that I have now. So I went into grad school and honed my skills and started to become a pretty good clinician, but all this time, these past 20 years of being in the field, there's still been this, this thing right here, this thing, that this, this food addiction. That's been, that's been right. Alongside that. That's, if I'm in the driver's seat, it's in the passenger seat, or if I'm in the passenger seat, it's in the driver's seat, and so I'm sitting there, I'm helping clients, I'm talking to people about addiction, knowing full well that I have not yet resolved this for myself. And there's a lot that goes into that. I'll tell you what that's been interesting to be in the chair talking with a client, knowing that there's still this thing that needs to find resolution and healing within myself.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, and I think it's. I think it's great that you're you're being transparent about that. I think a big misconception is that you know we eventually get fixed forever. You know, and, and it's done, and there's a graduation, it's over. I think what's hopeful to our listeners is that, regardless of time, education, background, we're all still evolving and trying to get to the healthiest space in our life so that we can enjoy it meaningfully with the people around us you know, and so that's what you're doing.

Speaker 1:

So could you give us some of the things that you're doing to achieve that?

Speaker 2:

What really started me on a better path, a more hopeful path, because addiction has a. The disease of addiction has a progression. If untreated it will get worse and worse. Okay, and I've noticed that there with food addiction. So back in 2019, I heard of a program by the grace of God called Bright Line Eating Okay, cause with food you can't just stop, you can't just give it up, like alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, like you have to. You have to find a way to eat healthy.

Speaker 1:

Yes, yes, you can't not eat and in this country.

Speaker 2:

There is so much junk this is a soapbox that I get on from time to time Like the standard American diet is just awful and it is so bad for us and there are reminders everywhere of the food that is constantly available. So there is just so much that hits us, that hits us all the time. Now, with Bright Line Eating, it is based in the science of how food affects the brain. It's based in the studies of the, the addictiveness of certain foods. It's also based in recovery work, like 12 step recovery programs. So with this program, which is perfect for people who actually are addicted to food Okay, and I was talking about like somebody who you know it's a bad habit here and there to overeat I'm talking about like addicted brains, addicted to sugar. You know carbohydrates, so, which is my experience.

Speaker 2:

So with this plan, all sugar is cut out. No sugar or artificial sweetener, because artificial sweetener will trip the brain like sugar does. Sugar hits the brain like cocaine. No flour, because flour more studies need to be done, but flour is hitting the brain in a very similar way to the way sugar does. Before an addictive brain. Uh, three meals a day that are weighed and measured. Actually, those are the bright lines. Yeah, so it's no sugar, no flour, three meals a day, and food is weighed and measured, and so it's lots of vegetables, it's fruits, it's some grains, so it's like naturally occurring sugars are allowed fruits, vegetables, such like that?

Speaker 1:

Yes.

Speaker 2:

Yes. So with this it allows the brain to be cleared of of that obsession, because you're cutting out the sugar and over time those cravings will stop. So with this plan. So this plan has been a part of it. Another part of it is doing the work to resolve the emotional component.

Speaker 2:

So for me, there was just still all the stuff inside that needed healing, so I've been working on that as well. It's also about having the, the support when, so that when the stressful times hit, we have more, that we have more health, accountability, accountability. But then also, if people tend to want to do things alone, you know they're they're like a lone wolf type person, not inclined to ask for help with things like even just everyday life things, and then they tend to get more stressed out. I'm one of those people. I'm an oldest child, I'm used to just taking care of it. Well, at this stage there's like so much hitting our family that I have to ask for more help or I'm going to get overwhelmed and fall back into the addiction I'm going to get overwhelmed and fall back into the addiction.

Speaker 1:

I love hearing about this. The first time I ever heard about the abstinence of sugar flour such like that was when Julie was on from Reshape and Recover. It was the first time I heard of. Do not eat it at all.

Speaker 2:

Take it away for 30 days.

Speaker 1:

Do not eat it at all, take it away for 30 days and I thought, well, that has worked so successfully for alcohol, why had I never thought about it for the bingeful, cringeful foods that trigger excess? However, I didn't, and so, with you all and your wisdom, coming on and guesting on the show, I have received such incredible information and, I hope, listeners that struggle with this too, because it's not just drugs and alcohol and money. This is real. This is like you said we have to eat. So if you are experiencing that, that is such a great resolution to try the abstinence and I think, like you're saying, it could be the one that works and then you find those substitutions.

Speaker 2:

Physical nourishment. That's all it's supposed to be about Physical nourishment. It's not supposed to meet emotional needs. It's not supposed to tamp down that stress. It's not supposed to be there to numb out. It is there for physical nourishment. So when it takes on more of a role than that, we get into trouble. So it's it's having. For me, it's having an eating plan that gives structure. It's it's having. It's having support to work that recovery and to and to stay on the eating plan, because I can't do it alone and I am in Julie's membership. That's been pretty cool.

Speaker 1:

Oh wow, okay, I didn't know that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's I just. Oh wow, okay, I didn't know that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's excellent.

Speaker 2:

I just yeah, I just joined a little bit ago. It's also dealing with the root issues that the food always helped with. You know, the food was our crush. It's dealing with identity. That's a huge part of it. Are you familiar with James Clear's work? Yes, that's a huge part of it. Are you familiar with James Clear's work? Yes, yes.

Speaker 2:

So, like he says, you know, if you want to take on meditating, like you, you take on that identity. I am a person who meditates. So if you know, in my case, something that something that is good for me to focus on, is who I am in Christ, because inside there's still, you know, somewhere, there's still that root lie that you know this is this is fat, lonely, jennifer, and that's all I'm ever going to be. I can pretend to be something other than that, but that's all I'm ever going to be. And in fact, this is sort of a side, but it's related.

Speaker 2:

There were times where, cause my highest weight was like around three, 15, I'm five, seven, and at one time, a few times, I got down to around 200 and I freaked out and I stopped working the program and started putting it back on because that being being on a scale and that first number being a one. That's not something I've experienced since I don't know middle school, maybe early high school, I don't know when I got over 200. Wow, that went against my identity and I couldn't handle that. I freaked out. So then it's like okay, stay where you're comfortable, stay where you're supposed to be Sure and that's where people get in trouble.

Speaker 1:

So would you say community support and then identifying community yourself differently played a key, would play a key role in this, in your success.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

So I know with with like James Clear, like he'll say if you want to stop smoking, you don't say oh, I, I'm. I want to stop smoking. You say I'm not, I'm a non-smoker. So it's kind of like reframing your wording around it.

Speaker 2:

Okay, it's getting down to that identity. It takes time. That reprogramming takes time. I think it's great Forming new neural pathways and everything, but it can be done.

Speaker 1:

So what did you do at that time? What was your end result when you hit that weight, that lower weight?

Speaker 2:

I stopped losing and I started gaining again.

Speaker 1:

So today, if that happened today again with your newfound knowledge and redirection, what would you do differently?

Speaker 2:

Well, what I do differently. I have a lot more tools to use to manage my emotional system. I know where I can reach out for help to do any of the deeper work that may need to be done, and I would give myself permission, hey, if I just need to hang out here and maintain for a while.

Speaker 1:

That's not the end of the world. Right, that's really good advice. You know we don't have to keep going forward all the time, but if we just stay where we are and it's better than where we were sometimes that'll be just just enough, totally. So can you speak a little bit further on what you're currently doing and some of your services?

Speaker 2:

So right now, my full-time job is clinical counselor, so I'm working with clients day in and day out and helping them to resolve the underlying stuff that has kept them stuck or that has kept them in their own unhealthy patterns. I'm especially passionate about helping people to understand how emotions can interfere with life stuff. Yeah, bring that into the light to normalize it and let people know what they can do about it.

Speaker 1:

Oh, that's really powerful when we talk about addiction and food addiction, drug, alcohol. When you're in an addiction, that is pretty much all there is. Everything else still happens relationships, we still get to our jobs, we still show up, but that's always the fourth, it's the biggest thing in our mind. There's just no way around it, and so when we eliminate that, the whole world opens up. And is that kind of what you're speaking to as far as emotional healing and mindset about?

Speaker 2:

money, to be in a state in which, for the most part, they are, they are calm, they are empowered, they have more creativity and courage to take action, they are just more aware, like you said, of what's out there. They're more open and patient and understanding and there's more optimism and energy. That is what I help people find with this emotional system that I teach, which is called internal family systems, and the state that I just described is what IFS calls your authentic self, which, for those who follow Christ, means being at one with the spirit. There's no better place to be than to be spirit led and so to be in that state where you're just like, you're in a flow and you're not held back by fear, you're not held back by intense self-criticism or depression or, yes, any addiction or imposter syndrome or any of those things.

Speaker 2:

You might struggle with them from time to time, but they don't hijack you, right.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, very good, yeah.

Speaker 1:

So I would just ask our listeners you can put yourself in a place of when you're in your addiction, that person who say it's food, where you've overeaten, you're overweight and you don't want to show up, you want to be left alone, you don't want to go outside, you're frustrated with yourself, you're down on yourself, your world is so small and so you just do more of it because you're just mad and sad.

Speaker 1:

And then it sounds to me like you're taking that person and putting your hand out and pulling them out of that so that they can get back into their life, get out into the world and start working on a career or working on whatever it is that their passion is, and I think that's a very powerful position, and I don't think you would be as successful in that if you hadn't done that or been going through it yourself. So there's that, you know, at that paradox you talked about and in the very beginning we had spoken about, often our own wounds bring us to a career where we help others solve theirs, and that's what you're doing. If you have any last piece of advice that you can give to anyone listening who is struggling, we can end with that.

Speaker 2:

Oh, certainly so for any who are struggling with compulsive eating, addictive eating, and you feel hopeless. You feel so low, you feel like you are pathetic and you are the worst, and maybe you feel like you're disgusting and ugly and that it's just never going to get better. I want you to know that it absolutely can.

Speaker 1:

To learn more about Jennifer's services, you can visit her at the Peace and Hope with Money Facebook page. I will also put in the show notes any way that you can connect with her. She has solutions, hope and can pull you out of where you currently are if you're suffering from food addiction. So please contact her and thank you so much for being on the show. Thank you again for having me.

Speaker 2:

It's been a pleasure.

Speaker 1:

Thank you for tuning into the Sober Living Stories podcast. If you have been inspired, consider subscribing and sharing with anyone who could use hope in their lives. Remember to stay tuned for more inspiring stories in the episodes to come. Been inspired, consider subscribing and sharing with anyone who could use hope in their lives. Remember to stay tuned for more inspiring stories in the episodes to come. To view our featured author of the month or to become a guest yourself, visit wwwjessicastephanoviccom.