The Sober Living Stories Podcast
Welcome to the "Sober Living Stories Podcast." Every Tuesday, Jessica Stipanovic, your host, shines a spotlight on individuals who have undergone remarkable transformations in their lives.
Each guest shares their story giving examples of bold beginnings disguised as endings and life lessons that teach how the darkest moments often hold the key to unlocking the brightest light.
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The Sober Living Stories Podcast
Escaping Gang Culture and A Life Sentence: Trapped Families Jojo Godinez's Story from Prison to Purpose
JoJo was brought up in the gang-infested neighborhoods of LA and witnessed the deadly results of drive-by shootings at a young age. Although raised in a disciplined home, JoJo still took to the drug-filled streets and at 16 was arrested which eventually led to him being tried as an adult in the state of California. At the age of 18, he was sentenced to 45 years to life in prison the very same day his child was born.
As a reformed gang member, he describes to listeners the ease of drugs and crime on the streets and inside the prison itself. He demonstrates the powerlessness of living a life outside of the morality in which he was raised and details the brutal nature of life being locked up. He goes on to share about the unending support of his wife at a young age even when she believed he was not coming home.
JoJo talks further about spiritual incidences and people placed strategically in his life to guide him to a place of peace amidst violence and chaos. His words are raw yet reveal the powerful hand of God in his life that led him back to himself and to his eventual release and return to his family.
Lean in to hear his powerful narrative about how his escape from the gang culture and a life sentence in prison led him to his life’s purpose where he became the founder and CEO of Trapped Families, an online community where he supports families who experience the hurt and struggle of losing loved ones to incarceration and who battle alcohol and drug addictions.
Today Jose Godinez is a sought-after motivational speaker, gospel preacher, author, podcast host, and CEO. In Jojo's talks, he shares his powerful story of transformation through grace, from being a hardcore gang member from the streets of Los Angeles leading to a condemned life sentence in prison to becoming a community leader and recognized Life Coach. Jojo has earned many titles such as chaplain, behavior modification counselor, mentor, and gang preventionist. Jojo leaves audiences with hope and encouragement that "one's past does not have to be their future".
Jojo is inspirational from start to finish and will have you at the edge of your seat wanting more...
His ongoing commitment to assisting families through his initiative, Trapped Families, displays the profound impact of his journey and stands as a powerful reminder that every individual has the capacity for restoration.
To connect with Jose Godinez:
YouTube: (3) Trapped Families - YouTube
Website: TRAPPED FAMILIES
IG: Jojo Dalia Godinez (@trappedfamilies) • Instagram photos and videos
Email: trappedfamilies@gmail.com
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Your story matters.
The message of this week's Sober Living Stories podcast is that your past does not have to determine your future. Meet Jojo Godinez as he shares his story about being raised in gang-infested neighborhoods in LA and witnessing the deadly results of drive-by shootings. At a young age, Raised in a disciplined home, Jojo still took to the drug-filled streets and at 16 was arrested, which eventually led to being tried. As an adult in the state of California, he was sentenced to 45 years to life in prison. The same day his child was born. Lean in to hear his powerful story about his escape from the gang culture and a life sentence to becoming the founder of Trapped Families, where he supports families who have experienced the hurt and struggle of losing loved ones to incarceration. Welcome to the Sober Living Stories podcast.
Speaker 1:This podcast is dedicated to sharing stories of sobriety. We shine a spotlight on individuals who have faced the challenges of alcoholism and addiction and are today living out their best lives sober. Each guest has experienced incredible transformation and are here to share their story with you. I'm Jessica Stepanovic, your host. Join me each week as guests from all walks of life share their stories to inspire and provide hope to those who need it most. Welcome to another episode of the Sober Living Stories podcast. Meet Jojo Godinez. Today, he's going to share his powerful testimony on how a life sentence in prison led him to his life's purpose. As a reform gang member from the streets of Los Angeles, today Jojo is a community leader, motivational speaker, coach, author and recovery advocate. He is an example of his own message, which says that your past does not have to determine your future. I'm so excited to have you on the show today, Jojo. Welcome.
Speaker 2:Thank you for having me, Jessica. I'm looking forward to it.
Speaker 1:You know, I first met you through an online forum where there was you had thrown a sentence out and I responded because I was intrigued by what Trapped Families was, and so I investigated that a little further and I found you on YouTube with your Trapped Families. It's an online community, I'd read, dedicated to supporting families who are affected by incarceration, substance abuse and addiction, and you know, I watched one episode after another and I love that you're here. I think you have a powerful message and it's all yours, you know. If you just want to start from your personal story up until what you're doing today, Okay, well, thank you.
Speaker 2:So I was born and raised here in Los Angeles, california. Both mother and father were in the home. I had three siblings, three sisters. I had a couple of stepbrothers that weren't necessarily by blood at all, they were godchildren of my mother and father that they were taking care of, and I grew up in an area that was infested with gangs, drugs, prostitution. I mean it was really wild here. I was born in 1973 and during the 70s was like the disco era, but at the same time in LA, that was like the, the birthing of serious gangs.
Speaker 2:Here in LA, I mean, I believe we're like the capital of, you know, gang violence and and it's very evident from my life, being surrounded. I mean you couldn't go from one block to another without you know seeing the, the effects of the gangs, whether it was gang riding on the walls. You know seeing the effects of the gangs, whether it was gang rioting on the walls. You know somebody being stabbed, shot, murdered, and from a very young age I'm talking about from four years old, jessica I can go back and I remember it so vivid, you know, as if it was just yesterday I could close my eyes and picture the first time I seen somebody killed right in front of my house and I remember my mom grabbing me and saying you know, get away from the windows, come over here and stay over here. I'm only four years old and you know this was in almost 45 years ago that I still remember it so clearly. And from that point on in my life it just continued to progress more and more.
Speaker 2:My older siblings eventually would get involved in the gangs and I remember probably about at five years old, my mother and father decided to relocate us, probably about 30 miles away, but it looked like it was a more suburban area, you know there was, there was grass and trees and where I was at before it was mainly concrete. I mean there was no, really no front yard, so playing everything was concrete. In the area of East LA, where I was from, our houses were on hills, garages were, were on the bottom of our houses and then there was streets and there was really no grass or anywhere to play like football in the front yard. But where they moved us, which was like 30 miles still within LA County, we had a big front yard and it was like you know, all the houses were all connected so you could just run from neighbor to neighbor's house through the grass and and it was fun, you know. And when I got there it looked like, okay, we're in a different environment.
Speaker 2:But come to find out that that same neighborhood where they moved us was infested with gangs, you know, and it was crazy because it didn't look like a gang-infested neighborhood, not like in LA, like the city of Los Angeles. We moved to the city of La Puente, which is in the San Gabriel Valley area. Here in Los Angeles we have, like, we have the Hollywood district, we have, you know, santa Monica and the more you know, the different areas of LA County, and we moved to what's called the San Gabriel Valley in the city of La Puente and within that city there's I don't know how many gangs Just within that city there was. There's I don't know how many gangs just within that city alone there's, you know, maybe 20 different gangs, you know, and it wasn't long till I found myself where I moved, where they moved us to, there was probably about 20, 25 kids all my same age and, like I said, I had my mother and my father in my home.
Speaker 2:My mother and father were hard workers. We were I would never consider myself. You know, one of them poor stories that you know took me to the streets or a lack of love in my home, or, you know, we were without. We were never without. My mom and dad worked hard. They both worked. My father worked in in a steel mill working with steel and my mother worked in warehouses. For the most part they weren't home from early mornings to early evening they were gone.
Speaker 2:So right after school I found myself in the streets hanging out with other kids that probably didn't have the same morals and values as I was being brought up with. My father was a Vietnam veteran with the United States Marine Corps. So there was a lot of discipline in my home. There was a lot of structure in my home. You know, we had rules, you know, and there was a lot of discipline.
Speaker 2:You know, growing up discipline didn't lack in my home. You know, when I did wrong I was very well disciplined for it, with physical pain, I would say. You know my father, I mean back then, I mean getting a good old fashioned whipping was it was normal. But on the other hand, my friends that come from single homes the fathers weren't in the picture. Drugs and alcohol were a lot in their families, you know, and they lacked a lot of discipline. So I found myself interacting with these 20, 25 kids, you know, every single day in the streets, and I'm not going to say we were bad kids just breaking the law, but we were kids. A lot of us were young boys at that time, you know, we didn't have cell phones and computers. We played in the streets, you know, we had rock fights and BB gun fights and we played with slingshots and stuff like that and rode bikes everywhere, and you know it was.
Speaker 2:It was like a fun time, you know, being a kid, you know, unfortunately, though, I was out on the streets a lot with my friends and it was in them streets where I started seeing a lot of drugs. You know, during that time, the early 80s was rock cocaine. You know, a lot of addiction, rock cocaine, and there was um heroin. It was cocaine, regular cocaine, and then we had what was our pcp, um, our elephant tranquilizer, what we used to call it.
Speaker 2:Growing up and seeing the effects of that on people, you know know, because, like I said, my neighbors were gang members and they would be on PCP and we would be playing baseball front and they would look like zombies, like look at this fool, like fool, can't even stand up. Or, you know, we had them old hobos, the older, the older homies that were drinking, you know, 40 ounces out of the brown paper bags in the streets and stuff. And then we had people, you know, cooking heroin in the spoons and stuff. So, as young kids, I remember too my homeboy's uncle. He was a heroin addict, the older guy, and he would like hey, hold this spoon for me real quick.
Speaker 2:And I would literally be like six years old wanting to go play sports holding a cooking needle while he was cooking his heroin. He's like, just hold it for me real quick. And I'm right there like hurry up, hurry up and do this, you know. So this is, this was what I seen. You know, I seen a lot of marijuana, especially marijuana. I mean, I used to see that by the pounds, you know, as a young boy, and they started giving us. I was probably maybe, I want to say maybe, eight, nine years old when we started learning how to sell like dime bags of marijuana, you know, to, you know, other kids around the neighborhood and stuff, and that's where our first drug dealing started to come in. And of course, we're experimenting with everything you know.
Speaker 2:And in my house my father was an alcoholic. I would say, you know, I didn't really know what addiction was or anything like that, what alcoholism was, until, would say, you know, I didn't really know what addiction was or anything like that, what alcoholism was, until later on, you know, in my twenties or whatnot. But my dad, every day when he would come home, he would come home from work with a six pack, you know a 12 pack or something, go to the room and just start drinking until he passed out. But it's crazy though, because you know people would say that he's a functional alcoholic because he would go to work. He stood in the same job for, I want to say, almost, you know, almost 40 years, almost my whole life. He was at the same job and every day he would come home and drink and pass out and wake up at five in the morning to go to work the next day. You know, um, I I noticed today, though you know that, um, you know the behaviors that followed.
Speaker 2:His addiction was, yeah, he was a violent person. You know he was very angry, you know, especially when he was like sober. You know my dad was like one of them, happy drunks, um, where he would get drunk and start giving the kids money and, you know, being flirtatious, you know, know, with my mother, like you know, trying to hug on her and kiss on her and stuff, and my mom would push him away, like, get away from me, you're drunk, you know, or whatever. But when he wasn't drunk and he was like craving, that's when he would become more violent, more, you know, aggressive in his tone and but I just I know my dad that way his whole life, so I never considered him an alcoholic or anything like that. But later on, I mean, there was times he would come home and the car would be halfway up our driveway with the door open and be like what happened to the car? They were like, yeah, he came home, you know, drunk or whatever, cause he used to stop by the bar too sometimes. So he'd come home with a six pack, but he had already been at the bar for like two hours, like that would be his way of winding down before coming home. You know. But I never judged him as an addict because a lot of my, a lot of my family and a lot of my friends families like did that same stuff.
Speaker 2:You know the younger generation though, the gang members that were doing, you know, rock, cocaine and marijuana, pcp and stuff I didn't even realize they were drug addicts either. You know, I didn't know none of that. It was just normal behavior for us, you know, and I had the motor homies that were drug addicts, that were cold drug addicts. They would steal things in the middle of the morning. You know they'll come to your house and steal all your copper piping while you're sleeping and wake up and you know you don't have no water running through your house, like man, what's all my water? All the copper is gone, you know. And there was still air conditioning units from the windows, you know, and it's just like crazy stuff. But to us it was like, ah, that's just, that's just them, you know.
Speaker 2:But yeah, you know, as I got older and older, the gang, the gang influence, became really strong in my life. You know, by the time I was like 10 years old, you know I had seen more and more murders in our streets. A lot of um, my house was getting shot up, you know and what I mean. During the 80s we had what was called the drive-by shootings, where people would just drive by your house and shoot up your house, and that was the situation for me and my family and a lot of people in our neighborhood. You know that was the normal routine. You know you'd be sleeping and hearing bullets flying and you're just checking, you know, to see if it was your house. You know what I mean. And sometimes your house, sometimes it was the neighbor's house and that was just kind of normal.
Speaker 2:And I found myself in my early teens getting more and more involved in that, jessica, where, because, as a young kid, in the mix of all of that, I was playing baseball. I was into a lot of organized sports. That's one. I mean, that's one of the best things my father offered me was, like, you know, sign me up for football, sign me up for baseball. I was in kickboxing. I did a lot of sports as a young kid. I always was like a team player, you know.
Speaker 2:So when I got into the gang thing, it was kind of like and plus all these kids I grew up with since I was, you know, five years old, we were all in kindergarten, worked our ways up through elementary, junior high and we all grew up together and we learned how to like um, protect one another, you know, in the streets and stuff. And so by the time I became a gang member, it wasn't like I just woke up and said I want to be a gang member today. It was kind of just like a smooth transition to where, um, we just found ourselves being more and more in violent behaviors. Now I'm using a lot of guns and knives and stuff, taking weapons to school and stuff, and I was arrested numerous times for different things, but at 16 years old is when it got really serious for me. I was arrested for a very serious crime involving a shooting and I was tried as an adult at 16 years old and eventually I would go through trial and everything and I was found guilty and sentenced to 45 years to life. 45 years to life and here in California, 16 years old. Yeah, by the time I was found guilty I was already 18 years old.
Speaker 2:But we have over here our youth prisons. You know, when you commit crimes as a youth and you're, you got to go through what's called a fitness hearing and if they find that you're capable of programming in the juvenile system, still they'll let you go there until you're 25. And when you're 25, then they'll send you to prison. So that's kind of the case for me. I ended up going to youth prison here in California at 18 years old and then I stood there until I was 24 years old. They ended up killing a counselor there in the youth prison where I was at, and then they sent us all out to prison a little bit early, so I didn't get to stay till 25 and then, um, I ended up going to prison. But let me back up during during the course. Yeah, let me just back up just a little bit.
Speaker 2:During, during the course of being sentenced, um, there was like a long stretch of me from me being found guilty to me being um sentenced. Because I had to go, because I was a juvenile and they were trying to see whether or not they were going to send me in prison or the youth prison. Um, they sent us to these fitness hearings where we had to go see psychiatrists and all these different people to determine whether or not um sending me to prison would be more um um detrimental, you know, to my good. So when I went they were like he's able to go to prison, but we find that it would be more, more better for him, his development, if he was to go to youth prison first. So during that time of waiting to be sentenced, um, I was involved while I was in jail, was still committing crimes.
Speaker 2:I was in LA County jail and I got really involved in the politics between, like Mexicans and Blacks and whites and the different prison politics that go on. I figured I'm going to spend the rest of my life in here. I'm never going home. That was a fact, I really believed it and everybody at that time knew that. You know, if you were sentenced to life, you weren't coming home. You know nobody was coming home during that that time period and what happened is, um, I ended up getting into a violent altercation where somebody was stabbed.
Speaker 2:And during the time when I was in the hole which is like the jail within the jail, you know I'm segregated from the time when I was in the hole, which is like the jail within the jail, you know I'm segregated from the main population. I had my spiritual awakening. You know, I had my encounter with my higher power, who I call Jesus Christ, and it was a life changing encounter. You know, I wasn't really a religious person. There was really no fear in where I was going, I was content with where I was at. A religious person, there was really no fear in where I was going, I was content with where I was at.
Speaker 2:But for the first time, something happened where I felt remorse for my victims, I felt guilt for the lifestyle that I had now fully engaged in. I felt really empathetic towards my victims, where it was like you know what, like I. Really, I identified myself as an animal. I literally felt like you know what, like man, you know like I belong in here. You know I came to that realization that the things I was doing was unhuman, you know, determined that I was an evil person and deserve to be locked up for the rest of my life. That, you know, society didn't deserve my, you know my presence. You know because of my actions, you know, here I am in jail already and I'm still.
Speaker 1:You know, I'm still doing, you know, evil and stuff and so are you talking about the things that you did outside of jail which got you into jail, or the things that you did in jail, or both?
Speaker 2:Outside both. It was just a lifespan of just conviction. You know, it was like I'm telling you, when I had that moment, you know I didn't. I kind of, you know, throughout my youth I was introduced to, you know, god as a creator. You know what I'm saying. But I never had a personal relationship with God. I never knew that you could actually have such a relationship with God. I never, you know, understood that. You know.
Speaker 2:You know I kind of grew up Catholic, but it was mainly like a holiday Catholic, you know, like for Christmas, easter, we would go. You know I probably went to a Catholic church more for funerals, a couple of weddings, a couple of baptisms or whatnot, but a regular Sunday mass, like really being into it, you know it. It never penetrated. You know what I mean. During the times there I was just looking at my watch, like hurry up, like let's go. You know it was never like a big deal or a big part of my life. Excuse me, but at that, at that time, after that stabbing, something happened where like realization hit me, like this is going to be the rest of my life, acting like this animal that I am, you know, and since I was so young, you know, in the prison, politics, you know they like to use youngsters more than anything to establish. You know politics, you know they like to use youngsters more than anything to establish. You know different causes, you know. So here I am raising my hand to pretty much be like an assassin in there. You know, pretty much be a torpedo is what is the terminology they would use, like when something needed to be taken care of. You know, I would be right there like I'll take care of it. You know whether, whether it was attacking an informant or a sexual predator, all the ones that the prisoners considered no good, they shouldn't be here among everybody else, or somebody owed money to somebody, they were to be like, hey, jojo, you got this, I'd be like I got it and I would go and do something for somebody else.
Speaker 2:You know A lot of the violence that I was afflicting on other people wasn't even my business, you know. It wasn't even something that they did to me, you know, and it was in that moment where I saw myself like a puppet. I felt like, you know, um, like things have changed, you know, from when I was out on the streets, a gang member, doing things for my neighborhood and for my friends. You know, now I'm doing things for strangers. You know, people I just met and it just wasn't adding up. And then I started.
Speaker 2:I had my mother was such a loving mother and she was always by my side and I started thinking about her and the struggle. She would come to see me and she'd be crying and, like you know, it was kind of like my mom didn't deserve the stuff that I put her through. You know, they had got me a private lawyer, spent. They put their house up to try to bail me out. At times, you know, they paid thousands of dollars for these different attorneys and I was just, my house was being shot up because of me. You know, people would drive up to my mother and pull guns out on her, thinking I was in the car because I was doing things in her car and it was just. I brought a lot of pain to my family, you know.
Speaker 2:And at this moment, all of this was coming back to memory, you know, and to my conscience of like I done so much bad, you know, and and it was so weird though, because at that moment I had asked God to forgive me, jessica, the only way I knew how I was. Like you know what, god, if you're real, I need you to change this heart of mine. You know, and in that very moment you know it's not like a movie scene, you know an angel didn't appear, virgin Mary didn't show up. I didn't hear no thunder or anything saying like you're forgiven, jojo. You know, I didn't hear nothing or have any physical signs, but I felt a peace within my heart, like as if God really was forgiving me.
Speaker 2:And from that moment I didn't know what to expect. You know, I didn't know what to expect, but I had cried out and asked God to change this heart. And a couple of months down the line, when they released me back to the main line for that incident, you know, I was telling God like God, just like, help me, help me not to get into trouble, help me not to. You know, go that route. You know, and like I said, I'm still young, I'm barely starting my time. I didn't know what to expect, but I knew that my heart meant what I prayed.
Speaker 2:And as soon as I got back to the general population from AdSeg, right away they give me an ice pick and they tell me who my next victim is.
Speaker 2:Just like that I'm being thrown back into that animal state of mind of I need to attack again. You know they identified who it was and I'm like, here I go, you know, and I'm in the shower. I told them you know I'm going to take a shower, you know I need to take a shower and it was a dorm setting at that time and the showers are really low, probably up to your chest area, and there's like a window so you could see everybody while showering. And I remember at that moment the cops came in and they removed that person that I was supposed to victimize and I literally thought that that was my first prayer answered, because I was like man, god, I like here, I am asking you to help me in this situation and you know I'm already on my next move, you know, and when the cops came in and they moved them, I kind of like looked up and was like you know, like, thank you God. Like, like is he?
Speaker 1:really real? Is he really? Yeah, go ahead that. Well, that is, you know, he can move people. He can close ears and open mouths and right, and so he did that. So what happened next?
Speaker 2:So after that I end up going back, I end up coming out of my shower and they were like all right, everything's cool, you know. And in the situation, I mean in the housing in which they put me, in this dorm setting, they put me in the middle of a bunch of African-Americans you know the Black population of the jail and at that time LA County Jail is very prejudiced. I mean LA County jail. There's riots all the time between different races, you know, especially between the blacks and the and the you know Latino community. You know the Hispanics and Mexicans, you know specifically. And the Mexican gang members came to me like, hey, don't trip. Like tomorrow we're going to move you to our side. So I was like okay, so I'm like, whatever, you know what I mean, I ain't tripping.
Speaker 2:So they ended up telling me the only thing is, oh, you're going to be bunked up with this Christian guy. So when they said that, I was like I'm looking up again like God. I'm like God, what are you doing here? You know, like what is going on here? So I ended up going to this bunk with this Christian guy who's an ex-gang member. You know he's an ex what we call cholos over here, you know, in Southern California.
Speaker 2:Um, they're the, the Mexican gang members. Right, we have that moniker as a cholo and they were, and he's an ex-cholo and I'm like what's up, how you doing, and he was like good man, how you doing, and we really didn't talk much. He used to go to bible studies and I would go over there, I was gambling in there, I was still kind of doing my own thing, but still like God was like speaking to me at this time. And one day, one day, I used the phone and I called home and my wife at the time and I kind of bypassed that, but I, you know, know what, don't let me go no further until I tell you about my wife. Okay, my wife was same age as me, gang member from my neighborhood, the case that I told you, that I got in trouble for at 16 years old.
Speaker 2:Okay, yes when I was arrested at 16 years old, tried as an adult and everything. I was there for a year fighting my case. I ended up having a short release. They dismissed my case. It was a DA reject.
Speaker 2:So when I got out, when I got out, I ended up getting with my girlfriend at the time, who's a homegirl. She's a gang member, she's just like me. She's like one of the one of the leaders of the girls you know not by title, but she had a lot of influence, you know. And what happened is I ended up getting her pregnant and we were young, we were, she was, she was 16. I think I was 17 at the time. I think we were just a few months off. We're just like, literally my birthday is January, hers is in May, all right. So I turned 17 before she did and whatever. And we ended up getting married in Nevada and Las Vegas. You know they do a lot of like quick little weddings in Las Vegas. They're known for that. So a bunch of my, my friends, a bunch of her friends, our homeboys, we all went to Las Vegas with our parents. Our parents had to sign for us because we were underage. They signed for us to get married. We got married. We came back a couple months. We got married in April. In July I was rearrested for my case. So I you know she got a bad deal. You know everybody would have thought she had got a bad deal. You know because and let me just say in my defense, when I got out, when I was turning 17,.
Speaker 2:When I got out, after fighting it for that whole year being 16, I started working. I got a legit job working. I was kind of staying away from my homeboys. I really wanted to be a good father, jessica. I had told my father and my mother, like you know, I'm going to get my stuff together. You know, I ain't selling drugs. I didn't have no weapons on me. I wasn't out on the streets, I mean, I was, but not as bad as I was prior.
Speaker 2:And I had told my wife you know, me and my wife, you know, even though we were young, my wife came from a hard upbringing as well and we were talking like adults. We were like, you know, let's save up our money, let's get an apartment, let's, you know, let's get away from the neighborhood, you know, and let's raise this kid. And that was the goal, you know. So when I was rearrested, I mean, everything came down and I was trying to explain to her like babe, like I didn't, like this wasn't planned. You know what I'm saying. Like you know I was doing good. You know this happened before I even met you. You know this happened.
Speaker 1:So is that when you got the sentence was when you were rearrested?
Speaker 2:When I was rearrested. Yeah, they, they rearrested me. It was almost almost a year later that they rearrested me. I left my wife when she was she was still pregnant. You know, she was still pregnant at the time. And you know what's so crazy, jessica, is that when my jury was deliberating and when they came back with my guilty conviction, when they found me guilty, my wife gave birth to my son, my first son, on that same day. That is crazy. Yeah, september 26th of 1991. Yeah, so, anyways, my wife ends up. You know she ends up. You know, being by my side the whole time. So I ended up calling her that day in, when I'm still in the county jail, and she told me that one of my good friends had got killed. And I started banging the phone. I was so mad.
Speaker 2:I went back to my bunk and this homeboy, this cholo, his name was Gabriel and he starts telling me this was the first time he starts preaching in my bunk. He starts telling me he said the only one that could get that rage out of your life is the Lord, jesus Christ. And I took it offensive. I, you know, I just found out. My good, good hope, it was killed. And here he is trying to tell me about Jesus, about this love, about my anger, you know, trying to, like, you know, tell me what's going to set me free. And I'm I'm angry and I'm like you know, you need to get out of my face. You know, right now is not a good time, you know.
Speaker 2:And we just started talking and that conversation ended up going for almost three hours, four hours, you know. We ended up just conversating, debating, and then at the end of all of that, he ends up telling me he said if you were to die tonight, where would you spend eternity? And I said I believe I'll go to heaven. I believe in God. You know what I mean. And he starts telling me about you need to be born again. And I was like, what does that all mean? What are you talking about? Born again? You know, I don't know nothing about any of this and I didn't even know what I was getting myself into. But I told him yeah, go ahead and pray for me. Yeah, I'll accept Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. I believe that he died and rose again and all of that good stuff, you know. So he prayed with me and I went to bed that night for the first time taking off my shoes.
Speaker 2:Prior to that, we used to go to sleep with our shoes on because in the middle of the night, you know, there would be riots, things would happen, and I mean that's the worst thing to do is try to be in a riot barefooted or in your socks or something. You're going to be slipping and sliding everywhere. So we always slept with our shoes on. This was the first night I took my shoes off and I had like a righteous peace in my heart. And I woke up early that morning, before everybody else. The lights were still off and and I was just looking around at everybody and it was as if I had this, this, you know this awakening that I seen people as humans. You know I didn't see the blacks as enemies, you know. I didn't. I didn't. I seen everybody as like it's weird when I explain it, because it was as if God had gave me a compassionate heart throughout that night.
Speaker 2:When I woke up, it was like I wanted to help people immediately, you know, to feel this peace, and I didn't know what to expect because, like I said, I was a young gang member getting ready to do a life term. I'm all involved in the politics. I'm an assassin, you know, for the higher ups, and I didn't know what to expect. You know what I mean. I didn't know what to tell anybody. I didn't know to go tell people. You know, during the night, you know, god touched my heart. I'm a different man, you know. I didn't, I didn't know what to expect, so I kind of just played it by ear and just um, I woke up and that guy, gabriel well, you know, it's funny, my wife likes to refer to him as my, my guardian angel at that moment, because what happens is Gabriel stood there with me for only two weeks and then he was let go and it was as if he came, delivered the message and was gone.
Speaker 1:You know that's incredible, like, look at that. You could see where God was moving in when he eliminated that one person from the shower area and how then he put Gabriel in your cell and he's gone in two weeks, all of the even. When I was reading your I was reading your testimony on um trapfamiliescom and you were describing just what you did here and so powerful, like within a moment you were changed person. You know like I mean he was working on you but because you took that action, not even knowing the action that you were taking, he just changed you and you said you immediately saw things differently and you immediately wanted to help people. And that's like the power of God, you know, it's so big and powerful and it's delivered by people we wouldn't think would have delivered it and it's just, it's a really good example that it's it. It's really like it really happens you know when I was in.
Speaker 1:Colorado. I heard this pastor say a line that I never forgot and he said God can deliver the most hardened criminal or the sickest drug addict in one second flat. And I was like when he said that I thought he absolutely can and I would have never believed that either. You know, when somebody was trying to pray for me, I remember thinking pray for yourself. You know, I had the same response, like when Gabriel came to you when you were having all that rage. You know like, but he continues on and he gets to you when he gets to you and then your life's changed. It's incredible.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I was so scared, though, jessica, when he left, like I said, he was with me for only two weeks and during them two weeks, we did everything together. You know what I mean. I even announced, like you know, to the higher above, and I didn't know, jessica, I didn't know if I was having like a mental breakdown, I don't know what was going on. And I told him that I was like, I gave him my knife and I told him I said you need to hold on to this. I don't know what's going on with me, but my bunkie been inviting me to church and and I and and you know what's so surprisingly is that I thought there was going to be a lot of resistance and all glory to God because they actually, like they gave me a pat. They were like you know, go for it, man. You know, go to church, you know. And I thought there was going to be repercussions. You know I'm saying at the status that I was at. You know you, normally just don't walk away from that. You know you. You know there's a saying over here like, yeah, it was all miraculous, it was all miraculous, favor, you know, with all the right people, because normally you know there's other repercussions that follow somebody coming and telling them they're getting right away, they think you a snitch, they think you're getting soft, they think something else is going on. And for me, though, I don't know. For me, though, I didn't, like I said, I didn't know what was going on and I was just trusting the Holy Spirit. And what's so crazy is, like after them two weeks, jessica, when he left, like during them two weeks, I was learning from Gabriel. Gabriel was just feeding me, feeding me, feeding me, you know, treating me like a baby, telling me the rights and the wrongs and telling me to stay away from that gambling table. You know, stay away from. You know the meetings between the gang members. He was like you're not about that, no more, you know you're, you're born again, you're a new person. And I was like okay, okay, okay. And then, when he left, it was as if I really identified myself as a sheep among wolves you know what I mean. And I'm like, oh, they're going to try to eat me up now because I'm by myself. But it was then that I believe that I was filled with the Holy Spirit, and it was now God speaking to me. You know directly, you know he was using Gabriel for them two weeks. But when Gabriel left and I was in the word of God and I was just, you know, it was God like, giving me strength and started to guide my steps. And it was during this time that miracles after miracles started happening.
Speaker 2:And I don't know if you've seen through my website, I do have a book out. My autobiography is out. Yeah, it's on Amazon, they could find it. It's called Reformed how a Life Sentence Became my Saving Grace and I share a lot of the early miracles that took place and in that book I share this one specific miracle and I'm not going to go through them all, of course, but there's one specific one that I believe was very humbling and challenging and threatening, all in the same mix.
Speaker 2:Because, remember I told you, la County Jail is very, very racist, very prejudiced, very. You know, you stand by your own people, no matter what you know. And when I got saved, god really gave me a heart to just love like-minded believers, including the blacks. I didn't see the blacks as blacks, no more, as enemies or any of that. I didn't see the whites as an enemy. I've seen them now as brothers in the Lord and that's the way I address them and that's the way I embrace them, and we would sit down and have Bible studies and talk and I spent a lot of time within these interracial circles of Bible studies and one day we had this big riot. But before this riot we were in a prayer circle and the other gang members Mexican gang members they came and they tapped me on the shoulder and they're like hey, georgia, let me talk to you. And I said what's up? They're like go over there where all the homies are, because something's about to kick off. You know something's about to happen.
Speaker 2:And I looked around everything's quiet. I mean in la county jail, when it gets quiet, that's a bad scene, you know it's a bad scene? Uh, because normally it's not like a beehive. Everybody's talking and there's movement and everything, and that's normal. When everything gets quiet, that's like the quiet before the storm. And I look around, I'm like, oh man, something's about to happen. And then when I go over, I go back to the Christian brothers and I tell them I said we need to pray right now. We need to pray, something's happening. And the black brothers are like encouraging me to go over there with your crowd, with your people, and I was like you are my people, like we need to stay together, we need to pray. He was like go over there, where you'll be safe. Go over there with your people, you know, and we'll be praying. And I told him no, we need to pray now.
Speaker 2:And in the middle of that prayer, a big riot happened. In this riot, two Blacks ended up getting killed, and that's how serious it is in la county, I mean, right in there. I mean there's, there's gonna be blood, you know. And what happened is the mexicans had like kind of like the victory. You would say they won that royal rumble or whatever. You know, they got the upper hand and all the blacks were in the front, by the cages where the cops are and stuff. And the Mexicans, they started celebrating and they're like excited, you know.
Speaker 2:And somebody says, within the Mexican circle, there's more blacks in the back, which were the Christians. The Christian black brothers were in the back and they were already in the process, jessica, of running over there and attacking them. And God had me run over there and stand in front of my black brother. I literally put my hands up and said you can't touch these brothers, you need to leave them alone. And right after that happened, it was crazy because they're coming and they already have knives out and they're about to stab me and they stop and they just leave the blacks alone. The brother, the christian brothers that were there, they were safe, you know, nothing happened to them and um, and when they separated all of us, when the cops came in, they came and they shot at us, you know, with the rubber bullets and they maced us and everything, and then they end up separating all of us.
Speaker 2:They put all the mexicans in one big holding tank, all the african-americans in another tank, they put all the Mexicans in one big holding tank, or the African Americans in another tank. And then all the Mexicans were all excited they're celebrating, you know, showing their battle wounds and stuff, and I'm right there. And they were like, oh Jojo, we saw you, man, you were fighting. I was like no, I wasn't, I was praying, you know I was praying. And they were like, nah, we saw you, you know you were, you were you, you know you were, you were, you know you were fighting, like everybody else, you know. And I was like no, I wasn't, you know.
Speaker 2:And um, I realized, like you know what they're setting me up. You know they're getting ready. You don't ever stand against your own race, ever. That's like a death sentence on the spot. And um, there was this other, this other mexican there. That was a gang member but he had been going to church and he had been saying he was a christian. And um, when you don't get involved, they end up victimizing you and, sure enough, jessica, within seconds of them separating all of us when we're in our own tank now there's no more blacks with us, we're just all mexicans they end up beating that other christian up. I mean, they like broke his jaw, his eye it looked like it was coming out of his socket. It was like, and I went over there and ran to him, which was like strike number two, you don't come to the rescue of somebody that has it coming.
Speaker 2:And I'm like I'm just messing up left and right. You know what I mean. I'm like doing things that normally I shouldn't be doing. You know, and I know better, but the Holy Spirit in me is moving. So I have my back against the wall the whole time, jessica, thinking at any moment, any moment, it's my turn, you know, any moment. And I had other young gang members come up to me and tell me hey, man, that was cool what you did for your Christian brothers. And I'm thinking in my whole head. I know this, I know this little facade, I know it's not true. I know these three are probably the same ones that are going to stab me right now. These three are the same ones that are going to try to really hurt me for what I did.
Speaker 2:But come to find out that was like the beginning of my ministry, my prison ministry that would take place for the next almost 12, 13 years, you know, of being a Christian, going through the youth prison to the adult prison as a Christian, and I never had a fight. I never had a fight the rest of my term. I never had a, and that's who I was, though I was a fighter. I mean, my nickname Jessica and I don't want to sound all gangbanging on you, but my nickname was Boxer. That's what they called me because I was always fighting.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean, and, of course, you know it was kind of like my reputation as a fighter, and throughout my prison time it was as if God just kept setting up miracles after miracles. I mean I'm talking about real miracles. I'm talking about healings people in wheelchairs. You know that couldn't walk and you know it's just crazy how, behind the walls, god was able to move. So for the next 12, almost 13 years I had just established this reputation as a Christian ex-homeboy. But it wasn't like I was shunned from anything. You know, I had a lot of respect and people really felt I was a righteous Christian.
Speaker 2:You know, in there there's a lot of people that hide behind the Bible and there's usually consequences. You know, if they ever feel, if the general population ever feels like you're faking it, you're hiding behind the Bible or anything like that, they'll stab you, they'll beat you up. You know they'll call you fake, they'll, you know, kind of put you in a position to make you fight, make you like try to prove that. You know I, for me it was as if God gave me favor. I mean, I always had all the high end jobs in there as an inmate could have. I always had like the highest pay numbers. I had a lot of favor with with the guards, you know, with the higher ups and with the prisoners. It was as if God did give me favor with with man, you know. And my wife continued. You know, of course, my son was born on that day that I was found guilty. So my wife traveled throughout the state of California to different prisons bringing my son, you know, allowing me to have a relationship with him and her. You know, and it's very rare to find somebody like that, especially she didn't know if I was ever coming home.
Speaker 2:You know, like I said here in California, when you're sentenced to life, that means life. Our governors had emphasized many of times that if you have life, the only way you're getting out is in a box. That's it. But by God's grace I ended up coming back to court a couple of times on appeals and my sentence was reduced. I still had the life term, but instead of 45 years of life I had got like 25 to life, and then I got life plus five, which gave me an eligible parole date. So I, like I said, I was originally arrested in 1989.
Speaker 2:In 2003, a miracle took place and it's a long story. The whole process of me getting out our governor was being recalled. They wanted to dismantle the board of prison terms here in California. There was a lot of things behind the stage and God used it all and was able to open the doors for me year. During that year of 2003, I was involved in a substance abuse program inside of the prison system. It was called Walden House here on the West Coast.
Speaker 2:Walden House has a big name in the recovery field. It's a behavioral modification program, especially for parolees. I mean, you had to be on parole to go through this program. There was one based in San Francisco, which was like the mothership. That's where it was founded, back in 1960. I want to say 1967, during like the hippie era in San Francisco, the whole. You know, there was a big hippie move and a lot of homeless people and that's how our program was, was birthed, you know. But now in 2003, 2003, we have a program in the prison.
Speaker 2:So I went through that program. I became a certified drug and alcohol counselor, um, a behavioral modification counselor. Even while incarcerated we were going to college, I was doing all my, all my courses in there and then when I came home, I went through residential treatment. And the residential treatment that I went through, you know it wasn't really 12 step base, it was a therapeutic community where it's kind of like it was like the old school attack therapy, to tell you the truth, cause, um, it was more addressing behaviors, you know. Of course, within that, you know we address addiction and whatnot, but they cover the whole psychosocial, you know. And what happened is, um, I was there. I ended up staying a part of that for almost a year between residential and outpatient and then I became a drug and alcohol counselor there with the program. I was so excited my wife almost killed me because I was doing construction making good money, and I left it to become an entry level counselor and I took a big pay cut to do that.
Speaker 2:But my heart was like you know I'm so grateful to the program. You know they taught me how to identify, you know, my triggers and my character defects and a lot of different things surrounding not just my substance addiction but my behavioral addictions. And I mean they just helped me deal with a lot of things, especially transitioning from prison back into society, being in that residential because we had passes so I would go home with my wife and I didn't know how to be a husband. I didn't know how to be a father. I never had a real job ever. I mean I got arrested so young that I was in denial of a lot of things. I never thought, you know, because I the drinking that I use.
Speaker 1:How many years from when your son was born that day that you got sentenced? How many years did you actually serve by the time I came home, you mean. Yeah.
Speaker 2:I ended up serving altogether. It was about from 1989 to 2000. Yeah, it was 2003. Yeah, with that small gap that I told you, I got out, got married and got her pregnant.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so, yeah. So, coming home, it was so hard learning how to be a father, learning how to be a husband, learning how to give it in the workforce, divorce, but all them years in prison. You know I had taken a lot of parenting. I took in a lot of a lot of self-help classes to help me. You know transition, you know I had pastors that would tell me you know, jojo, you never know when God's going to open the door, so you need to be ready. Because everybody used to tell me in there why are you doing all these college courses, why are you doing all this stuff where you're never going home? That's what they would tell me. You know, the inmate, the inmate and even the cops would even tell me that sometimes, like I don't know why you're, you know, investing all this other stuff. You know when you're not going to go home. You know and I had to, I had to look past that and be like you know what I have to have faith that if God does open the doors, I'm going to be ready.
Speaker 2:And when I came, when I came home, um, I was using um, I used a lot of the skills and the gifts that I use while in there and I came home. I started working in carpentry before I became um, while I was in treatment. I ended up becoming um while I was in treatment. I was a carpenter, so I was doing construction, um, but all of that, though, ended up. I mean, the tools that I learned in there I applied when I came home. So to kind of speed up the story, you know I come home from outpatient residential. I ended up I couldn't go back to my same city, which we had, a house my wife had. You know, bless my wife. She was a young single mother. She got her first house on her own. You know she like really, really hustled, and if you know anything about California, ain't nothing cheap out here you know, and for her to get a house, you know.
Speaker 2:And then when I got released, my pro officer told me I can't go back to my city that I was arrested for. So we ended up relocating, not too far but out of the city, and I came home and started my life, you know, in 2003,. Like I said, I was doing construction. I worked a couple of warehouses to eventually, when I became a counselor and it was so, it was exciting but it was scary. There was a time, after about a year, it was exciting but it was scary. There was a time, after about a year of being in society, that, um, I woke up one day and I was crying to my wife and I told her babe, you know what I feel like I want to go back to prison. And she didn't like get it though, cause it was.
Speaker 2:I was so stressed out from the good stuff that was happening and you know, as a recovering addict man, you know it's so easy to self-sabotage the good stuff that's going on. I felt, like some people say, that I had, like that survivor's guilt, because I was still writing to a lot of lifers and I kind of felt like I didn't deserve to be home. I didn't deserve all this success, you know, and it was like I was looking for a way to kind of mess it up. You know, like I don't. It was getting difficult too, you know, cause my son's a teenager at this time. Now he's a teenager and you know, um, you know we started going through some issues as I'm trying to discipline him and stuff, and it was kind of crazy and it was just a lot of pressure. I felt a lot of pressure doing the right thing in life for once. You know it. You know people see me today and see where I'm at with my wife, my kids, my homes. You know my different. I have my own business. You know, besides Trap Families, I have another business and they see the success, but they don't understand the struggle and what it took to get to where I'm at today.
Speaker 2:And you know I give so much credit to my wife. My wife has been like the backbone for real. My wife has been the one to kick me when I was down. You know she like not kicked me down, but she kicked me up. She's like you need to get up, you need to get up and believe in yourself.
Speaker 2:And I always tell her it's easier said than done, you know, but she said you could do it. I know you could do it. You know, and she's been there. You know she's, she's my biggest supporter. You know. I mean and, and you know, next to Jesus Christ being Lord and Savior, she's the best thing that's ever happened in my life. You know, she's a good mom, she's a hard worker, um, she's a great encourager, you know, because when I feel down or something, she's there to pick me up.
Speaker 2:You know, I mean more than often, you know, and so today, you know, after all that, and we've had our struggles Well, jessica, don't? I mean, don't get me wrong Coming home, I mean, like I said, coming home, I didn't know how to be a father, I didn't know how to be a husband. The Walden House program, they helped me in a lot of that, you know, through counseling, through speaking to my therapist and stuff. I worked with all of them. I'm not too proud to say I used a lot of resources to help me get to where I'm at today.
Speaker 1:Let's take a moment to hear a recovery story from one of my sponsors. At the age of 25, recently married and a new father, jack found himself in a Texas rehab facility detoxing After 10 years of addiction. He was finally able to admit that it was time to get help. Not only did Soberlink allow him to be accountable and track his sobriety, soberlink allowed Jack to prove to himself and others that he could make the change he had always hoped for. Soberlink is the portable sobriety tracker taking the recovery world by storm. It has built-in facial recognition sensors that detect cheating and instant results sent to contacts. It's the number one accountability tool for keeping yourself honest and rebuilding trust. Visit wwwsoberlinkcom backslash sober dash living and check out the show notes to click the link and receive $50 off your device today. Now back to our guest.
Speaker 2:Every time I stepped out of my comfort zone and asked for help and support, it was as if, you know, the course of life became so much more easier, you know, not trying to figure it out on my own, you know, not trying to figure it out on my own. And then so, yeah, so here I am today, you know, and what I'm involved in today, and what I have been involved for the last 20 years of coming home, is helping families, you know, with their addicted loved ones and their loved ones that are caught up in the criminal lifestyle. You know, and that's been my passion since God delivered me from it, and that's why I say it in the beginning, you know, it's been so easy for me to, um, be comfortable in doing what I do and helping families. Yeah, I had heard seeing them cry and, you know, see them going through the transitions of losing their loved ones to the system or to.
Speaker 2:I mean, I have a good, good friend and he was just showing me a video of his, his younger brother that's. You know, he's bad on drugs and was showing me him sleeping on the side of the road and stuff. And I was like, oh man, because I knew his brother before he became addicted, you know. And then you know I'm there with them trying to help them get through that, you know. And it's so hard on them because he doesn't want help. So they feel like what can we do, you know? So that's where I'm at. I mean, that's why I said I love what I do, but at the same time I hate what I do. You know, I'm kind of, you know, I hate going through that, but yeah, that's what I'm doing today, jessica helping families.
Speaker 1:Can you talk about trapped families? Because I, like I had mentioned earlier, I had watched a couple episodes where you were able to have guests come on that talk about their loved ones who are incarcerated or who are going through tough challenges like addiction and such. So can you talk a little bit about trapped families? What?
Speaker 2:that is and what yeah so trapped. You talk a little bit about Trap Families, what that is and what yeah so Trap Families. It's a support network of the families, like I said, you know the addicted and the incarcerated, and you know it's an online community. I do have an online membership where you know they gather 24-7 and they, you know they talk about things that only they can relate to, because it's kind of like a secret society. You know families. They don't usually brag about their loved ones being addicted to drugs or being incarcerated.
Speaker 2:It's not something you go to work and and share, and I know this through my own family and them living this secret life. You know my wife for many, many years, um didn't tell her her co-workers that they knew she was married, but I was never in the picture at their gatherings. You know their Christmas parties. You know their. You know just different functions. They were like where's your husband? Oh, he couldn't make it, he's working and she had to do that for years and years. And so I get it. I get it from other families that are going through this. You know like they don't want to share it and there's nobody that they really open up to. So when I introduce myself and share my story it's kind of like they put their guard down and they're like, ok, he understands.
Speaker 2:And I'd like to share about my mom. You know I lost my mom while I was incarcerated. And my mom, jessica, like I said in the beginning, she was by my side to the very end. You know it was very unconditional love with my mom. In my mom's eyes, I couldn't do no wrong. You know I hate that. She was an enabler but at the same time, you know, she did everything possible for me to have a good life. You know I chose. You know, I know now I can't blame nobody but myself. You know she chose. I mean, I chose that gangster life and the consequences that came with it. You know. But my mom and dad, they they taught me how to live. They taught me how to live right. You know, they taught me how to be courteous. They taught me how to respect, you know people and stuff and and I know there's no, no such thing as a good criminal or a good gang member or another, but I, I had the morals where the only ones I wanted to hurt were my enemies.
Speaker 2:That I recognize as my. I wasn't the type to go rob old people. I wasn't, you know, trying to hurt anybody. That wasn't trying to hurt me. I mean, that's my justification of what I was doing and, like I said, it doesn't make me a good criminal or a bad criminal because, at the at the end of the day, I was hurting everybody. You know what I mean my family, my victims' families. You know they didn't have nothing to do with it. You know what I'm saying, but it is what it is. That's what I went through.
Speaker 1:What would you say to anyone listening who and we talked earlier about your past does not have to determine your future, does not have to determine your future. So if somebody is listening that has a past that is marked with like addiction or felonies or whatever they acquired along that path, you know, and they think, well, I can't drop that off, how am I going to make a future? What would you say? Because you definitely did that, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I would say that all things are possible. You know, to the person that's willing to believe, you know in, you know in a higher power of some sort, you know, even to their own selves being determined to make a difference. You know, when they have that understanding, like you said, like I had that same, I mean I was taught that early in my recovery that my past doesn't have to be my future, you know, because all my past was ugly, you know be my future, you know, because all my past was ugly, you know, and it took new understandings. So you know it took me being able to step out of my comfort zone and ask for help. You know, I remember being young my father told me you know, whatever you want to be, you need to surround yourself with them people. And I wanted to be successful. So I started reaching out to people that I normally wouldn't have reached out to for support and help when I wanted to be successful. So I started reaching out to people that I normally wouldn't have reached out to for support and help.
Speaker 2:When I would go to meetings and stuff and I would hear somebody share their story, I would be like dang, that guy is doing it and I would go grab onto him and I'd be like hey bro, listen, I don't know how to do this. I'm new to this recovery thing. I'm still trying to, you know, figure out my purpose and my calling. And sure enough, you know, I had people that stepped in and would sponsor me, be my mentor and walk me through the process. So the first thing is surrenderance. I mean, in recovery, that's the most important thing, is just surrendering and saying you know what I'm willing to do, whatever it takes. You know, and that's tough because as a human being, we're prideful people and we'll figure it out on our own and I'll, you know, I'll learn this on my own or I'll get it right.
Speaker 1:You know, I don't need other people to tell me what to do. I was thinking of that word surrender because when that's kind of what you did when you were in jail, you said you know God, I need to know you're real and please forgive me. You know God I need to know you're real and please forgive me, you know. So you surrendered in a sense for whatever reason that night, and then everything changed.
Speaker 2:Yeah, everything changed. But you know what. I had to keep surrendering every time, every time I was challenged with you know different. You know changing dynamics. I had to surrender. When I was in recovery, I had to wear a sign around my chest. I had to add a string and a cardboard sign that said I know everything. So don't tell me nothing. You know.
Speaker 1:Okay, well, I love that. Oh, I love that you said that you had to keep doing it and that what came into my mind was daily surrender. You know, and sometimes I forget that I'm like because it's still now. You know it's a daily surrender.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, and it's funny.
Speaker 2:you had to wear that because we know, we know, we know yeah yeah, and at this time though because by the time I came home I already had like three years I had more clean times than some of the counselors and therapists there. So I was kind of like arrogant, like man, I don't want to sit in these groups, because I had been sitting in groups throughout prison and now I'm free and I wanted to live free. But here I am still in groups and everything, and the program really really helped to humble me and remind me to be grateful, you know, because that first day out of prison I was so grateful, jessica, I was so happy. I'm looking at downtown LA skyline and I'm like just grateful.
Speaker 2:But 30 days into the program I'm like I want to go home now. I want to leave. I already have this figured out. But after 30 days going on passes, I realized I don't have this figured out. When I was at home with my son and my wife, it was scary, I mean, I was like I don't have this figured out. I got. I couldn't get back to the program quick enough to talk about how I felt, you know.
Speaker 2:So for anybody, in early anybody for anybody listening or listen later on. You know, in early recovery it's kind of like, you know, you can't do anything that you want to do. You literally have to be programmed under other people's advice and guidance, because we know how to fail all on our own. But it takes a lot, it takes a village for us to succeed. And you know, I credit that success to all my sponsors, my mentors and everyone else that has walked me down the journey. And I've used multiple people.
Speaker 2:You know, regarding, like, my cravings and my triggers and stuff, I use a certain mentor and then for my relationship issues with my wife and my kids, I use another mentor and for the steps I use a sponsor, and for I mean, I use so many different people. You know what I'm saying. It's like the real world. You know, if I want somebody to come fix my house, I can't get the carpenter to do the plumbing or the flooring or the roofing, like everybody has their specialties and and I use the whole toolbox of recovery for me to get to where I'm at and I I still I mean I still call my mentors. I still call, you know, people that have spoken into my life.
Speaker 2:You know, especially when I get stressed out and I feel, you know, a real, real strong struggle in my life, I definitely call somebody and tell them hey, this is what I'm feeling, this is what I'm going through, I need your advice. What I'm going through I need your advice and I take it. You know, I take it and I run with it. So, and the best and the main thing is separating yourself from your old friends, your old surroundings, because it's so easy to want to do good in the wrong place and that wrong place just overpowers you. I see that so often in recovery. You know somebody get clean and sober for a couple of months and want to go save all their old friends and their old girlfriends that are still in their addiction and it's like it doesn't work. You can't go and save them. You know you're still literally like a baby at six months, clean and sober, you know.
Speaker 1:So true Right.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You ever hear that table metaphor? You ever hear that table metaphor. It's like somebody's there's a table and the person that has recovery is on the table and they're like have their hand and they reach down to the people that don't have it and they're like, hey, come up here, it's so great up here, you know it's, you get free, get up here. And they say, once you put your hand down, is it easier to pull that person up, or is it easier to pull that person up or is it easier to pull that person off the table?
Speaker 1:And it's so much easier. So you got to like safeguard exactly what you just said. You know, and that's where people fall out and they, they go back into that relationship with that person or they get back into that group, and so you really have to safeguard your step.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, and I saw that first over the years. You know people wanted to do good but go back to their old surroundings and so easily just jack up everything so quick. You know, and that's why I tell people all the time. I said I understand you have a heart and you want to go and get these people, you want to show them the good life. But I said you got to guard yourself and don't ever go alone and you know, don't get so comfortable where you feel like it's okay. Because I always tell people in recovery man, you can't just go and intertwine with that old lifestyle and thinking everything they're like yeah, I'm going to go to this party, but you know, even though they're drinking and using and stuff, I'm not going to use it.
Speaker 2:You know I'm clean and sober Like you ain't that strong bro, you know, don't go. You know why. Go and tempt yourself, you know. Right, yeah, so that's where I'm at and you know I still that's one of my main, my main speaking grounds today is I go to recovery programs and I just share the process of change in my life and that it is possible. You know if I could do it, you can do it. You know, because with all of my, you know handicaps and hiccups and you know struggles. You know in life I said you know what. I was able to overcome them and I need to get you to buy in that you can overcome as well. So that's my. I love speaking in colleges and universities. You know churches and everything.
Speaker 1:But my go-to is the recovery homes, you know. Yeah, you do a good job so where can people find you?
Speaker 2:Because I think I send you my link tree. I don't know if you could attach it anywhere.
Speaker 1:I will put it. Yeah, I'll put it in the show notes. It has. What does it have on their website?
Speaker 2:They could find me on Instagram. They could find me on instagram, they could find me on facebook. Everything is tagged trap families. So they I mean I don't know how many things, a lot of people when I give them that did look me up trap families. They usually find me pretty easily. So I mean, I don't really look up myself, you know, because I'm on there but, and on youtube it's uh, youtube Trap Families to find my podcast on there. And then my web page, you know, for services is at wwwtrappfamiliescom, and in there I do have a finding section where I could give a free video session just to kind of touch base to see if you know they could use my services or not. You know it's totally free and yeah, that's it. They can find my book on Amazon. You know my whole complete story.
Speaker 1:Give us the name of your book again.
Speaker 2:It's called Reformed. How a Life Sentence Became my Saving Grace. Great, great yeah. So they could look me up on Amazon and Amazon. It's so much easier to just put my name in the Amazon search. Just put Jojo Godinez in the search bar and my book will pop right up.
Speaker 1:Great, and that's G-O-D-I-N-E-Z.
Speaker 2:Yes, j-o-j-o Godinez, yeah and yeah. Other than that, you know, every day I'm just, you know, trying to be a better person than yesterday trying to be a better person than yesterday.
Speaker 1:I love that you came on. I'm so grateful. I've watched those and I'm going to continue to watch each episode and I encourage listeners to watch too. It's Trapped Families. You can find it on YouTube. I'll put everything in the show notes. I love that you came on here and shared about how your past does not have to determine your future. But then also I haven't heard listeners in a while or guests, I'm sorry in a while talk about the power of God, and you really talked about the power of God and how he transformed your life and that was real and I love that you shared it. So thank you for being here.
Speaker 2:I appreciate it, jessica, and just a little side note on that right there, though, because a lot of people they have a hard time, you know, with the whole religious concept. So I meet people where they're at. I have so many Muslim friends, I have atheist friends, you know, I have transgender, I have homosexual friends. I mean I I may get a point where I just show the love of God and meet people where they're at. You know, I mean main thing for me and trap families is meeting the families where they're at, and, like I tell people all the time you know, this is my story, this is where I'm at, especially for the addict. I said my job right now is to get you clean and sober, get you in your right state of mind, and then you will be able to process you, to process the other matters which are regarding eternity.
Speaker 1:Thank you for being here and I encourage listeners to connect with you further.
Speaker 2:Oh yes, Thank you, Jessica, for having me. I appreciate it.
Speaker 1:Thank you for tuning into the Sober Living Stories podcast. If you have been inspired, consider subscribing and sharing with anyone who could use hope in their lives. Remember to stay tuned for more inspiring stories in the episodes to come. To view our featured author of the month or to become a guest yourself, visit wwwjessicastepanoviccom.