Sober Living Stories
Welcome to the "Sober Living Stories" podcast, a platform built on the power of personal stories. Each Tuesday, Jessica Stipanovic, your host, shines a spotlight on individuals who have undergone remarkable life transformations to inspire hope in listeners worldwide.
Each guest shares their story giving examples of bold beginnings disguised as endings and life lessons that teach how the darkest moments often hold the key to unlocking the brightest light.
This podcast inspires positive life changes. Whether you're sober curious, living an alcohol-free lifestyle, have overcome a challenge and lived to tell about it, or support someone who wants to shed a habit in light of a new one, our episodes promise to leave you feeling understood, hopeful, and motivated to create meaningful transformations in your life.
Join us for powerful new episodes every Tuesday where the most difficult life experiences serve to uplift and inspire. Regardless of your background or belief system, the "Sober Living Stories" podcast is your ultimate destination for uplifting narratives where hope shines from the most unexpected places.
In addition to featuring our weekly guests, each month on the "Sober Living Stories" podcast, we have the privilege of sitting down with a new author, delving into their story and the wisdom they've shared in their book.
Here's the exciting part: their book becomes the giveaway for that month.
Tune in every Tuesday for brand-new episodes and your chance to win the gift of a transformed life.
Sober Living Stories
Overcoming Childhood Abuse: Author Kyle Robinson Rewrites His Own Success Story
At only four years old, Kyle Robinson’s life changes dramatically—a man he calls Big Bad Ben, or Triple B becomes his stepfather. Over the next decade, Kyle and his siblings live in terror daily, trying anything to escape his physical and emotional abuse. With nobody to turn to, Kyle’s urge to escape reality leads him to unhealthy relationships, destructive habits, and multiple run-ins with the law. Still in high school, Kyle is arrested, facing jail, and forced to defend himself in court—altering the course of his life.
When the odds were against him, Kyle Robinson didn't just survive; he thrived.
Our conversation highlights how Kyle became an attorney and author who overcame a childhood of abuse and troubled youth to achieve success and inspire others. His memoir, "The Wandering Spark," highlights his hard-won accomplishments, showing that it counts not where you start but where you end up.
Kyle's story demonstrates that every challenge holds the potential for advantage. In our open conversation, he discusses his darkest moments and the turning points that led him to success. From defending himself in court as a teenager to the influence of unseen mentors and his ultramarathon adventures, Kyle's experiences highlight the power of encouragement and second chances.
Kyle also shares how writing "The Wandering Spark" was a therapeutic process, helping him make peace with his past. Kyle Robinson's life proves that with resilience and courage, a future full of success and purpose is possible.
Check out Kyle Robinson's memoir Wandering Spark at the website: https://kylevrobinson.com/
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At only four years old, my next guest, kyle Robinson's life changes dramatically. A man he calls Big Bad, ben or Triple B becomes his stepfather. Over the next decade, kyle and his siblings live in terror daily, trying anything to escape his physical and emotional abuse, with nobody to turn to. Kyle's urge to escape reality leads him to unhealthy relationships. Kyle's urge to escape reality leads him to unhealthy relationships, destructive habits and multiple run-ins with the law. Still in high school, kyle is arrested, facing jail and forced to defend himself in court, altering the course of his life. Despite these obstacles, kyle went on to earn a law degree himself and became a recognized attorney in New York, entrepreneur and published author. Join me today as he shares his personal story. This is one you're not going to want to miss.
Speaker 1:Welcome to the Sober Living Stories podcast. This podcast is dedicated to sharing stories of sobriety. We shine a spotlight on individuals who have faced the challenges of alcoholism and addiction and are today living out their best lives sober. Each guest has experienced incredible transformation and are here to share their story with you. I'm Jessica Stepanovic, your host. Join me each week as guests from all walks of life share their stories to inspire and provide hope to those who need it most.
Speaker 1:Hi and welcome to another episode of the Sober Living Stories podcast. Today, meet Kyle Robinson. He is someone who has overcome an abusive childhood at the hands of his stepfather that went on for many years. He overcame that and went to law school, became a thriving entrepreneur, a published author and an ultra marathon runner. Today he's going to walk us through his personal story. I can tell you that I have read the Wandering Spark and it's one of those books that you can put down and you're done in a couple of days. So lean in, listen to a story of overcoming and see how you can apply positive change to your own life. Welcome, kyle, welcome to the show.
Speaker 2:Sure. Thanks so much first for having me so and I appreciate that intro. That's pretty nice and so it. Obviously it's not a straight line to go from where I started to where I ended up, and so just to give you a little bit of background to me, when I was just four years old my mother got a divorce. And it was just me, my mom, my older brother at six years old, I was at four years old and my little sister at three years old.
Speaker 2:And one day I hear a knock at the door and I'm upstairs playing in my room with some He-Man action figures or something like that, and I hear the doorbell ring and I got really curious and I ran downstairs and at the bottom of the stairs there's this big, huge man standing in front of me at like six foot three, with like a big brown beard and like bifocal glasses, and just as a little four-year-old boy, I'm just stunned. My mom, who answered the door, went to go get something to drink. So it's just me and this intimidating figure. And I'm just looking at him and I greeted him as any four year old boy would. I just punched him in the leg and I just giggled. And what this man did is he made a fist himself and punched little four year old Kyle in the stomach and I just keeled over and I and I just I couldn't scream because I couldn't breathe and tears just coming down my face and he just was looking at me, didn't do anything, didn't apologize and just walked around me and went in the kitchen. I just scampered upstairs and that was my first introduction to my stepfather, ben, or, as my sister and I later call him, big Bad Ben or Triple B. And so that's kind of how my life started at four years old and it didn't get any better as I was growing older. And so as I got older it kind of got worse because I mean, I was older and I was acting out and he just didn't become a nice guy.
Speaker 2:And you might say, well, what about your mom? Didn't she do anything? And I know my mom loves me or loved me, but she was just looking for a father for me and my brother and my sister, and so she wasn't going to egg about to make another mistake with another man and say, oh, another failed marriage on her hands. And so she, and she also rationalized it's not that bad, you know what I mean. So she kind of looked the other way and just kind of forced this man onto us no, I mean forced this as a father and you know, she made us call him dad, made us tell him that we loved him. So in my head as a four-year-old and growing up, I thought this is what a stepfather or a father was supposed to be like. This is what love was. I didn't know any better. I thought all men were just really, really mean and just terrifying. So I was terrified.
Speaker 2:So as I got older and I got into high school, I started to rebel out a lot. I got into fights all the time. I got expelled from school. I started hanging out with the wrong group of friends and I got in, you know, drinking, smoking pot and just it. It wasn't going well and eventually I got expelled from school for fighting. And then I was just uh, I was so upset because, you know, at 16 or 17 years old I was just frustrated. All my friends so-called friends weren't getting in, weren't getting suspended, weren't getting suspended, weren't getting kicked out of school, and I was just like they're doing the same thing I'm doing. I just don't understand how come I am having the problem and I was just so frustrated. So what I decided to do was, like you know what? I just want to stop this madness. And I realized they didn't have the same kind of home life I have, and I didn't realize that until later on. And so to stop this madness, what I decided to do was go turn myself into drug rehab as a 17 year old. Because I didn't know any answers, there's nobody else helping me, and so I just took it upon myself, and so I went to go turn myself into drug rehab as a 17 year old. And you really can't go and do that because you need to either be court ordered or you need to have your parents sign you in. And so when I got there, like well, you just can't, you can't do that, eventually I got my mom to come down there and sign me in and I got.
Speaker 2:I was in drug rehab when I was 17 years old, and this after I was expelled from high school and things like that, and so it was actually a real safe place because I was away from triple B, and so it kind of just stopped the madness for a moment in time. Then I went back to school after drug rehab and this after, like I said, I was expelled before. So this is actually my sixth year of high school, after drug rehab, because I had to take my junior year again, because I missed a whole nother year again. So after I get back to high school, my sixth year, two actually amazing things happened that one year. So when I went back to high school they kind of threw me into in-school suspension.
Speaker 2:And what in-school suspension is? You just sit in the classroom and you can't talk and you can't leave and all your work is brought to you and so that and I wasn't able to hang out with any of my friends or anything like that. So it kind of kept me on the straight and narrow and so. But the in-school suspension teacher named Mr Brady I got to know him really well Cause the only time you're allowed to talk is to ask questions about schoolwork. So I'm kind of a talker and so I just started asking him about questions, about things, and we kind of got into this relationship and he was like the first male role model told me you know what you can actually do, something You're actually smart, you can like, and I didn't really act on it at that moment, but it was like a seed planted in me. I was kind of blown away that an adult figure was like you know what you can actually do something with, like I believe in you. It was kind, it was nice to me, and so that was really big.
Speaker 2:And then the second big thing that happened to me too, and I talk about this in the book I was invited in some sort of a fight or altercation after school one day, but this time I was 18 years old and I earned. I was like I think I was around 19 years old, cause it was my sixth year of high school and I didn't want to get in any trouble because if I would've got arrested I would've been thrown into like adult jail, and so I was really scared of getting in trouble. So, anyhow, um, there's a kid who wanted to fight me and I did not want to fight him Cause I was you know, I was a smart, you know a smart mouth, and so I was kind of running away from him and before I knew it, there's a big crowd around us and I'm just trying to get away from him and then a cop came and grabbed us and we both got arrested for, you know, assault, disorderly conduct disturbing the peace. I was like, oh no, I'm, you know, I'm in big trouble. And so I had to go to court. But my mom would not get me a lawyer this time, because when I was younger I got arrested for all kinds of things. My mom actually got me a lawyer. I was doing like you know, hit and skip, underage, drinking all kinds of stuff and she got me a lawyer before she goes. This time she did not believe, and this time I didn't do anything wrong. There was no punch thrown, there was no assault, but my mom did not believe me. Nobody believed me, which is understandable because I didn't have a track record of who I believed, so anyhow. So I had to represent myself in court because I couldn't get a lawyer and I knew I didn't do anything wrong.
Speaker 2:And so what happened to me? You know? Kind of a long story short. The cop was on the stand and they asked if I wanted to ask some questions, and I sure did. And so, as a 19 year old kid, I'm asking this cop I go, where were you when you saw this altercation happen? He goes oh, it's about 75, a hundred yards away, and I go where you standing, he goes. No, I was sitting in my police cruiser. I go okay, what did you see? He said well, I saw about a hundred kids standing around you guys, you know, and I go, and I said so you're telling me, from 75 yards away, sitting in your police cruiser, through a hundred kids, you saw me assault somebody else. And he goes well, no, I can't really say that, and that's all the judge needed to hear. I was found not guilty, you know, case dismissed. And that was just another seed, what Mr Brady planned to be like. You know, if you do believe in yourself and you do try, you can, you know, do something with your life. And so that was just two amazing things that happened to me.
Speaker 2:And I eventually graduated high school. You know, I was, I was, I think my class rank was 346 out of like 349. I graduated with a 1.046 GPA. But I was done with high school and, you know, college was not on my mind at all. And so, right after high school, I went and got a job at an oil change place, and let me tell you, I don't know anything about cars, so I was just working there. And so I decided you know what I wanted more for my life. So I decided to take the ACT.
Speaker 2:I got into college and I was like you know what? I need to take this seriously. So I stopped, like, drinking, I stopped smoking weed. And then, my first semester of college, I just studied, I just put my head down and I made the Dean's List my first semester of college. In college and this is after, you know, six years of high school and I was like, oh, I knew it. You know, this is amazing. And so, after I get almost a 4.0, I decided to transfer to another school. I decided to go to Kent State University.
Speaker 2:But when I transferred to Kent State University, I made a whole new group of friends and they're a bunch of party friends and so I started hanging out with them and start drinking you know, smoky weed, and my grades start to plummet, you know, almost immediately, and I started just partying a lot because these kids were, you know, away from their parents, you know, for the first time and I've already did all this stuff in high school and I was like, oh, here we go again. So it was kind of like a repeat of high school, doing drugs hanging out. I want to say bad crowd. These kids just were just exposed, for, you know, living on their own for the first time, and I was just. I got right back in the swing of things with them.
Speaker 2:So eventually, one day I was driving my car down to the bars and we just started drinking a lot and driving home I decided to drive home. For some reason, as I was driving home, I took a left under our street and I hit the gas and I rammed into a telephone pole, told him my Jeep, you know, put everybody in the hospital. I got arrested for DUI and I was just like, oh great, here we go again. You know, this is like but I kind of rationalize it as a lot of people do oh, you're in college, it's okay to get a DUI, but if you really think about it, it's not okay to wreck your Jeep. Put everybody in the hospital. Told her, you know what I mean, things are not going well.
Speaker 2:And so after that I was like I eventually graduated college, but with like a 2.02 GPA, and I was like well, this is like. You know, I didn't have any prospects, anything like that. And so right after college I kind of just wanted to run away. And so I had a friend who lived out in San Francisco, california. I just drove out to San Francisco, california, and lived out there for a few years and it was kind of nice to get away from all of the, all my old friends and things like that. And so I was living out in San Francisco and it was actually kind of good. I kind of got my finances together. I was bartending. I was like, but you know, I really want more out of life.
Speaker 2:And so I was like I want to go to law school, Cause I remember what I did in high school and I was believing in myself and I always was kind of interested in the law. And so what I decided to do is like, well, I need to take the LSAT to get into law school. I was like, well, I don't know if people that take six years to graduate high school or have a 2.02 GPA in college can go to law school. I was like, but I'm going to try. And so I, you know, again, I stopped smoking weed, I stopped drinking, I just studied for the LSAT and so, and eventually I got good enough to get into law school. So I went into law school.
Speaker 2:And this is now I'm living in Michigan, I'm going to Western Michigan law school, cooley law school, and I was like I do not want to mess this up.
Speaker 2:You know cause law school is serious business. So what I decided to is I just and I I realized too this the people you hang around with is going to really reflect who you are. So what I did was like I'm not messing this up. So I grabbed the two smartest kids in school. It's really easy to find out who they are in law school because they're always raising their hand and things like that. So I just grabbed onto them and I just hung out with them all three, all three years of law school, yeah and so, and in law school I did the best I ever did at any school. I made the Dean's list one semester. I even got the certificate of merit one year and that's getting the highest grade in one of your classes and eventually I graduated law school. But to graduate law school you have to take an internship and I know I'm going through my story real fast. If you have any questions, let me know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, I think no, that's great. And if we can pause here for a second, because, as you listening, I'm thinking well, I know your childhood story because I read your book, right, so I read the part of your book. So all of these altercations and things that were taking place in high school, you're a smart individual. Obviously Not everybody can go to law school and become a lawyer, right, or have the discipline and such to do that. So if you can, you can.
Speaker 1:Just, you know, I'm thinking like well, you know, and listeners don't know from where you came, they don't know that you know, like you didn't grow up in a house that was like pro college. Well, you did, because you went to private school and stuff. But you know, you had a lot of adversity and you didn't have a lot of. You were kind of beaten down from the terror that you lived in your you and your siblings lived in because you came from an abusive childhood, in because you came from an abusive childhood. So I think that's the real. You know, do you not? Do you see a connection between? I mean, had that not been your story in the beginning, you may not have had that high school experience. It would have been completely different.
Speaker 2:Oh, absolutely. And so you know. People say, you know, I'm so grateful for these things that happened to me. You know adversity, and people say that and it so grateful for these things that happened to me. Adversity, and people say that and it's hard to really believe that because it did make me who I am today. But it's easy to say it, but to actually feel that obviously I wish that my childhood was different, that my life would have been different. I don't know if I would have tried this hard. I don't know where I'd be right now would have been different. I don't know if I would have tried this hard. I don't know if I. I don't know where.
Speaker 1:I'd be right now, but so I have to. I just wanted to. Yeah, you wanted to get out of your home and succeed.
Speaker 2:Right, but also, I think, a lot of me pushing going to law school and doing all the things I want to do. I wanted to prove to them, prove to my mom, my stepfather, you know what I'm not smart. I mean I am smart, you know what I mean. I can do this. I'm not a loser. My stepfather used to call me loser all the time and so I was kind of a lot of it was like just prove them wrong, you know what I mean. So it kind of pushed me pretty hard, but also and we could fast forward a little bit I didn't realize that how bad my you know my childhood was until I really sat down and started writing my book.
Speaker 2:To be honest with you, I started like writing my book and I was just, I'm a big ultra runner and so I was just running about like talking about my like running adventures and like growing up, like through adversity, and it wasn't until I really started writing down and talking about my stepfather. I was like oh my goodness, and just, and I talked about how we were raised, like this wasn't right, you know, and and that was like one of the first times I and I don't see myself as a victim, but that's one of the first times I came to terms with it, so to speak, and so and that wasn't really that then I could really start healing once I realized how bad it was and things like that.
Speaker 1:Yeah Well, if you, if you just look at the very first interaction that you had with your stepfather, like that was really, that was that was really, he put the fear in you immediately and and you know so if anyone listening I mean, if that was the beginning, it was, that was the intro you can see how your first couple of rest of your years went in your elementary years and such um as far as abuse and stuff, yeah. So it's pretty phenomenal and I think it's really interesting that Mr Bradley put that.
Speaker 2:Mr Brady.
Speaker 1:actually his name is Tom Brady, not Tom Brady but he put that seat in you and then you became a lawyer and you actually represented yourself in that high school thing and were had enough and you know know-how and intelligence to to ask the right questions in court, which then led you on to a thing you know, a career in law, which is pretty incredible yeah, no, I appreciate that and so and it's also one of my favorite quotes is from mark twain.
Speaker 2:It's like keep away from people quotes is from Mark Twain is like keep away from people who belittle your ambition. Small people always do that, but they're really great. Make you feel that you too can become great. And so I had friends who were always bringing me down and, like I said, mr Brady was one of the first people was like you can do something great and the power that that has, especially as a boy who's growing up, is just unbelievable. It's huge. You know what I mean. It's just the trajectory from that moment and I don't know what would have happened to me if I didn't have those little small things that happened to me. It seems so insignificant kind of, at the time, but it was just such a big thing, you know, as as I moved on with my life, yeah, wow.
Speaker 2:Yeah and so, and a lot of the emphasis I talk about in the book is, you know, no-transcript. When I was a kid and a teenager I thought all men were just mean, angry people. And just once you realize that that's not the case, it's not the world, it just. It just opened up all kinds of doors for me and just I just wanted to be and do better.
Speaker 1:Wow, yeah, I could, I could see that, and that's that's a great piece of advice, and it's so true that who you surround yourself with you know you are going to pretty much become like, and so that's so important.
Speaker 2:Right, and so, after you know, after I, after I go into law school. There's one other thing that happened to me. After you know, I graduated law school but to pass the bar exam you have to take in New York city and become a licensed attorney. You have to take like a character and fitness evaluation. That means they have to do this huge background check on you it's like almost like a FBI background check become an attorney and I was terrified of doing that, because you have to disclose everything to them that you've done, even the things that you didn't get arrested for, because if they find out that you didn't disclose to them and they find out like you did these things, you won't get admitted to the bar. I was so terrified all three years of high school I would have panic attacks because I didn't think I was going to be able to, you know, be able to take the bar exam. I just thought I was just going to have a JD. I was like this I was kind of going through this for no reason, just kind of proving myself.
Speaker 2:But as I, after I graduated, I was like you know what? I'm just going to try this, you know, and in New York City you have to interview a prosecutor before you even like, admit it to the bar and admitted to the bar. And so what I had to do was I was living in New York, I flew back to Ohio and I went to all the police stations that I ever got arrested at and I had quite the rap sheet nothing like crazy, but I mean there was a full use of salt in there that got dropped down. There was a hit and skip underage drinking, all kinds of things and I had to gather all this information up and I went to all the police stations, got in trouble and I submitted to the bar and just to see what would happen, and I had to show up for the interview one day and I tell the story in my book. I had to wait like forever because they actually brought a special prosecutor in to question me and she, when she showed up, she had this big thick packet of like all the kinds of like labels on it and that was my file and I was like scared to death. So we sat down. She started leafing it like, going over all the things that I'd done, and I'm just sitting there scared. She was like, oh, quite the file here. It's like yeah, and then she finally pulls out this piece of paper, she starts looking at it and she starts asking me questions about it.
Speaker 2:It was a speeding ticket that I got when I was in, uh, when I was in law school, like late for a class. One day she goes I see you have a speeding ticket here, I guess, because it was like the most recent thing on my record. She goes how do I know? You're not going to do this, you know anymore. And I said I said, well, I live in New York Now I don't have a car, so it's pretty impossible. And she goes. So she, kind of chuckled, she goes go going through this, goes, keeps going through my file. And then she goes Well, are you going to be a good attorney and an ethical attorney? I go, yeah, for sure. She goes, okay, and then she stamped me.
Speaker 2:and then yep, and then all of a sudden I was a licensed attorney in New York and it was just amazing. Yeah, it was a big relief.
Speaker 1:You know, let's just pause there for a second, because listeners who are, you know if there's anyone listening who is in actual sobriety, right, that is one of, like, the biggest fears that a lot of people have, because they do come from checkered pasts and you know, but we live in 2024, you know second chances are what it is.
Speaker 1:So I can't tell you how many people that I've known that have been in fear of applying for a job or getting a teaching position or anything that have a past that is unlikely that they would be able to pursue that career. And every time, when you were walking right and you were doing what you're supposed to do, all of those people got those jobs and none of that was to be held back. And those fears became unwarranted after the people who were presently looking at them saw their character, saw who they were, saw the direction their life was going in. It just didn't apply. So my encouragement for listeners is to apply for that job, to not have that fear, to go for it anyway. You know, don't hold back because on a chance or a dream that you have, because you think you're not going to get it due to something that happened 20 years ago.
Speaker 2:Right. And another thing I'll say on top of that you're absolutely right. But also, what do you have to lose? Let's say it doesn't work out for you. You're still in the same position you were before. At least you tried, you know what I mean. And then also these people that you know interview you. They've been through their own things. You just happen to put it out there, you know. So it's a little more understanding. Some people are understanding, but as you, at least you have to try. And a big thing, a theme in the book that I talk about your past does not predict your future or where you're going or who you are and things like that. So if you believe in yourself just a little bit and give it a go, you know amazing things can happen.
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Speaker 1:Now back to our guest. A hundred percent and two. In knowing your history of you know a lot of that was. That was just not your fault. It was not your. There was no re. You know what I'm saying. Like I don't think your trajectory would have looked like that had you not come from the home that you did come from, um, or under under you know, his hand, or whatever. It just wouldn't have went that way.
Speaker 1:So you gave yourself, you gave yourself a chance and you succeeded. You know, and despite of what you were, what you were handed, um, as far as, uh, the childhood that you had, which is, which is maybe a common thread for some people listening as well, you know.
Speaker 2:Right, so you're, you're absolutely right. And so, and also it's also those people that and I encourage everybody to you know, if you don't have a mentor or you don't have somebody, I used to make a lot of excuses like, oh, I can't find a mentor, or you know, nobody will mentor me, or I can't find, like, positive people. You, in this day and age, you can on the Internet, like you can just listen to the podcast, and a mentor doesn't have to be somebody you actually have a real relationship with. You could just listen to the podcast. And a mentor doesn't have to be somebody you actually have a real relationship with. You could just listen to the podcast as somebody who inspires you, or read their books. They could be alive or dead. And if you just get those people's information and their message in your mind, that can be a mentor for you. And that's what I did for years and that's what I still do today.
Speaker 2:And so I encourage anybody, you know, just don't make excuses like, oh, I didn't have a mentor. Like you know, you had a Mr Brady, or like you had in David I, you can. You can find your own mentors by reading the books, by listening to the podcast, by you know, doing what you need to do, and so it's just not excuse. So that's. A mentor doesn't have to be a real life person or, like you know somebody to push you forward. You don't need to know them, but you can create a relationship with them in your head by you know. Find it wherever you want, sure. So I just wanted to say that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and another good point is that it's um, you did like you had just mentioned, that you you don't have to actually go somewhere. You know everything's available online and everything is now free online.
Speaker 1:So even if someone's at the bottom of their game and they don't have a lot of finances to work with, it's not that we have to pay $300 to go to this event to hear the speaker. We can actually find five speakers in five minutes from our home. Um, on your phone, you know Exactly. Yeah, so the resources are there and uh, yeah, so if you want to talk a little bit about your book cause you really poured um, so if you want to talk a little bit about your book because you really poured a lot of descriptive, your writing is so concrete, so it's actually like you can actually visualize and see everything that you're talking about, which really, really is captivating for your story. And so you said it was healing. So can you talk about that a little bit?
Speaker 2:Sure. So, and like I said, when I first started writing this book, I didn't realize that how bad my childhood was until I started writing it down. I wanted to write about, like, my running adventures and coming over adversity. And then, once I started writing down what happened to me as I was growing up, it was like I don't want to say epiphany or aha moment, but once you realize what's happened to you or what you've been through, that's a process when you can start healing and doing something about it. I was like okay, I was, you know, raised in an abusive atmosphere and you know, and it was not, it was not a good scene. Now I can do the proper steps to move forward from this, you know.
Speaker 2:And so what I started doing was I was like okay, and I started looking at things that weren't working for me. One is the alcohol. So I had to change my relationship with alcohol. That was one of the biggest things. But even when you stop drinking, you have to like in order to heal. Well, for me, I do encompass that with a lot of other things. So I started journaling a lot. I started going to therapy IFS therapy If anybody's looking in therapy, I highly recommend internal family systems therapy.
Speaker 2:It's absolutely amazing. I highly recommend internal family systems therapy. It's absolutely amazing. And then reading the right books, reading the right podcast, and then finding the right friends, you know the right, and which I emphasize a lot too, because once you find your tribe, with people that are similar to you and pushing you to become better and like and know your story and know who you are and still want to, you know, be friends with you and push you, that's really healing too. That's really healing too, and it's nice to have those. And so, and then sharing my story once I shared my story and put it out there, I found out there's other people similar to me in similar situations, and that's really healing too. So that's kind of the trajectory on, and the reason why I wrote that book is to share my story, cause I understand there's other people that might be able to relate to this, and it was, you know, selfishly, was kind of healing to me to put all of this out there and put it down there, and so that's where we're at today.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so the book is excellent. It's like one of those reads that you can read so fast. You just want to read more. It's like a complete page turn. The way that you wrote it is really good and I would encourage listeners to look it up. It's called Wandering Spark.
Speaker 1:It's a memoir Kyle Robinson and we'll give that information later on but there's something that I think that was really good in the introduction and you talk about being at a bar and I could relate to it a lot where you were there with friends and you said like I just don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to do what they're doing, like they didn't. You know they weren't really talking about what you were thinking about. You were kind of figuring out what you wanted to do in your life and I remember you just left that day Like you just you paid for your stuff and you walked out and started to make different decisions for yourself.
Speaker 1:And I know that's hard to like take yourself away from who you've been with, you know to to kind of go after something else, cause it's like you're you know well who do we think we are, or whatever. But it's like you really felt that call to like do something different and you followed it, and you know I commend you for that Cause it's not a it's not an easy thing to do. And another thing that is difficult to do is to actually share the story. You know, I know that for myself. When I first started speaking openly about my story you know it was so difficult I was like I don't know if I should have done that.
Speaker 2:I hear you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's just like. You know, the first podcast that I was on, that I publicly spoke about alcohol. I hadn't for 18 years and literally for the next three days I was just like I was just melting, like no, no, I shouldn't have done that, but I couldn't take it back and what I found was, you know, I was so fearful that people were just that I knew, just the people that I knew. I didn't really care about people that I didn't know. We're just going to, like, run in the other direction. And I got to tell you and you know, they did not. They actually came toward me and I'm wondering what kind of experience you had with sharing your story on the pages of a book.
Speaker 2:That's very similar to yours. So I was absolutely terrified, you know, just putting it out there, like, like you, I was like, what did I just do? You know what I mean? And I was like, and, and your true friends, the people that are in your family, who really care about you, they'll embrace it and they'll say you know what this is, you know I can understand, like where you come from now, or this happened to me and they started sharing their stories and so, and also it's just so, so healing, because sharing their stories and so, and also it's just so, so healing, because you don't really have to hide anything anymore Not that I was hiding it, but I just never brought up what was going on with me.
Speaker 2:And then, once you like put like this darkness and like shed light on it, it doesn't have so much power over you anymore, and so that's really it was a big thing for me. So now I'm not scared to talk about it, I'm not ashamed to talk about it. It just puts it out there because I know it's healing for me and it could be healing for other people. But yeah, it's so terrifying because we're so worried what other people think, and it's just, it's absolutely ridiculous. And you know, I still I'm not like all my fear is not gone. I just feel that fear and I just do it anyway, and just knowing that it's just part of the process. And so I understand where people are at and they're just so scared and they're just saying and here's another thing I'm sure people are saying well, my situation's different. You don't understand where I'm coming from, and I used to say that all the time because, guess what? My mom is still with this step-father, my step-father, right?
Speaker 1:now, really, is that true, wow?
Speaker 2:They're still together. Yeah, yeah, oh, wow. And so that's why I was like, oh well, you don't understand. Like things are different. You know, my, my mom, was still pushing this stuff out, I mean like five years ago, until I finally had to tell her. You know, this is enough. You know, I'm not going to call him dad. You know what I mean. I just put a stop to it and just stop talking to him.
Speaker 2:And so everyone's situation easy at first, because once you share your story, you're going to be like, oh, what did I do? What did I do? But as you keep doing it, as you keep moving forward, it's so much better than just keeping it hidden and stuff down. I think it just it puts everything, it just puts a better light on it. So that's what I think about, that, yeah, and I think that's very true. That's she's kind of the mom who wants to put the story out there that, oh, we have a great family. You know this is the stepfather. He took over my children. You know everything's fine.
Speaker 2:And so she'll just pretend to pretend, pretend that everything's okay. She won't face anything and I know she has her own issues too that she has to face, but she won't. She won't ever admit that, like you know, anything was wrong. She's like rationalized, oh, it wasn't so bad. She's kind of like what she'll say is like, oh, he did, she'll focus on like some of the nice things he did. It was like, see, it wasn't so bad, he did this for you. But I go. You know I told her one time I go that doesn't I go. He could have like found the cure for cancer. It it's kind of a bummer. But you know, everyone has their own journey. I can't control, like, what she does or how she's changed. I just control my healing process and that's all I need to focus on and go from there and so, and I know saying, well, and my point was like everyone's story is different, sure, but there's no excuse not to do something about it, not to heal inside. You know, there's always hope for everybody.
Speaker 2:And I just want to go back to the one thing too was just sitting in that bar that one day. It was just. I felt that way a lot of times sitting with my friends. It's just one time, so I just had enough of it. You know what I mean. Like, and I know a lot of listeners are sitting there.
Speaker 2:We all kind of lie to ourselves like, oh, this is fun, this is great, oh, this is fun, this is great, like this is a good time, but first I don't feel so good. The next morning I'll tell you that much is definitely not worth it. It wasn't worth it for me, just to you know. Division, you know. And also it just ruined everything else for me, ruined my motivation, ruined my physical health, ruined my mental health. It was just, it was absolutely brutal and I just didn't want to do that anymore. I wanted more for my life and I and I just I just had I just came to a point. It wasn't like I hit like rock bottom because I was doing you know good in my career, I was doing good with you know everything else. It was just like I just didn't feel good and I wanted more out of my life and I just finally got to the point where I was sick of. I don't change right now. This way my life's going to be, for it's really good and everybody has a um, yeah.
Speaker 1:So listeners who are looking to make a change, like completely possible, from ever, from wherever you come from and from whatever you're presently doing, you know, um, you just have to make that. I think it's big on the internal decision. Once that internal decision is made to to do something different, you will do it, you know um, at least that's been my experience. Yeah, so, um, also, I'm wondering, like how um? So after law school, um, you had mentioned that you did some entrepreneurial work, and is that the work that you've done as an author, or did you have something different that you do?
Speaker 2:Right, so right after law school and I got, you know, I passed the bar. I got this job in New York city. I had a legal education company and it was just because when I, in my internship in law school, was at a matrimonial law firm and I hated every second of it, I just I was like I do not want to, you know, divorce and things like that. And I was like, and I hated every second of it. I just I was like I do not want to, you know, divorce and things like that. And I was like these guys who I was working for were completely miserable. I was like sure, they're, you know, raking in the money, but they hate their lives. They like they're completely miserable. So once I passed the bar, I go. I just looked for mainly look for jobs where you needed to be an attorney a licensed attorney but not practicing. An attorney, a licensed attorney but not practicing. So I got his job at a legal education company and that's when I met my you know, my mentor, my friend David, and I call him Gary in the book. I said I changed everybody's names, just make for comfortable, and I'm sure he won't care that I'm saying his name. But so what happened there is. You know, he's somebody who believed in me. But I thought to myself. He was kind of similar age to me. I was like, wait a minute, this guy is no smarter than me. And he's a real smart guy. I was like, but if he can do it, how come I can't do it? And I learned a long time ago like success leaves clues, If you follow somebody else's success or do the same thing they're doing, you'll be successful yourself.
Speaker 2:So after living in New York City for like five years, I moved back to Ohio and I just started my business similar to what he does on my own, and it kind of just not blew up, but it kind of just it started working. I was like, oh, this works, you know what I mean. So I kind of went all in on that kind of did that and it gave me the free time to really focus on writing my book and putting my message out there and things like that. So that's kind of how I got really lucky. And well, first of all, I shouldn't say really lucky because my friends say, oh, you got it. Got it Lucky.
Speaker 2:I was like, yeah, all you need to do is just go to law school yourself and become an attorney. You know what I mean. And then you can do it too. You know it's. It's not that easy, it seems now, but I worked my butt off to get to. You know where I am today. To get there Now just reaping the rewards a little bit. So I don't answers your questions on what.
Speaker 1:I do now. Yeah, no, that's great. You also talked about ultra marathons. What are those, and do you still do them?
Speaker 2:Yes, I do. An ultra marathon is any distance over a marathon, any distance over 26.2 miles, and so I do a lot of ultra marathon, 50k races, things like that, 50 mile races. I've done 100 mile race before, and so I actually talk about this a little bit in the book. After I moved back to Ohio, after New York city, I actually bought a conversion van and moved out West for like six months and followed like these trail runners all around and kind of like you know, try to do that scene and cause. I thought I wanted like to be in that and it was fun for a while.
Speaker 2:But again, these guys were not right fit for me because they were drinking a lot and partying a lot and I wasn't able to, you know, forge real good friendships with them.
Speaker 2:And then I thought to myself you know, when I moved back to Ohio I had a good group of friends that were runners too. Why did I leave here to go find these guys when everything I was looking for was back home? And so I just moved back home and kind of just uh, had this great group of friends that we do trail running with and I still run with them. I ran with them this morning we, you know, we would get up like 4 30 AM, we run at five 30 and we go out there and go after it and these are my good buddies and I'm a big advocate of uh, exercise, of running, cause it's a good, it's like my meditation to get out there and put the miles in and things like that. So I'm a big, a big runner, big ultra runner, and that's how I forged, like I found my tribe, so to speak, is through running and I just can't. I'm very thankful for it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. Can you let listeners know where they can connect with you throughout the week? And also your websites so they can purchase this book.
Speaker 2:Yeah, sure, so I'm on all social medias it's Kyle V, as in Victor Robinsoncom. That's my website, and then I'm on all hand. All social media handles is Kyle V Robinson.
Speaker 1:So it's pretty easy to find me. Yep, okay, and your books available where?
Speaker 2:it's on Amazon bars and noble wherever you can find it wandering spark so you can look through through my website or you go straight to Amazon.
Speaker 1:Wherever you want, you can find it wandering spark so you can look through my website or you go straight to Amazon wherever you want. Any last words for anybody listening that needs encouragement or hope to to get over you know a past and get into their future.
Speaker 2:Sure. So, like I said before a couple of things, your past does not dictate your future. So if you think that like and also the biggest thing is just believing in yourself, if you have a little something in yourself that you want more in your life, that's the voice that you should be listening to and just go all in on that. If you believe in yourself, it doesn't matter what other people think or what other people say. You believe in yourself, you start doing it and once you get momentum, it's just you're going to be unstoppable.
Speaker 1:Thank you for tuning into the Sober Living Stories podcast. If you have been inspired, consider subscribing and sharing with anyone who could use hope in their lives. Remember to stay tuned for more inspiring stories in the episodes to come. To view our featured author of the month or to become a guest yourself, visit wwwjessicastepanovichcom.