Real Women LIVE
Welcome to Real Women LIVE (formerly Sober Living Stories), a podcast where women discover what's possible on the other side of silence. A show built on the belief that the stories we are most afraid to tell often become our greatest sources of strength, wild possibilities, and purpose.
Each week, host Jessica Stipanovic sits down with women who have lived through the moments that changed everything, from loss, addiction, betrayal, grief, reinvention, family hardship, recovery, and starting over. These are not surface-level conversations but honest accounts of what happened, what was learned, and what changed when these women found the courage to stop performing, start telling the truth out loud, and own every version of themselves.
Real Women LIVE evolved from Sober Living Stories, a podcast rooted in the power of personal transformation. While our foundation remains grounded in raw, honest stories of resilience and hope, the conversation has expanded to include topics that touch women worldwide.
Jessica Stipanovic knows this journey firsthand. Sharing her story publicly changed her life, opening doors and creating opportunities she never imagined possible. She has spent over a decade as a freelance writer, lived alcohol-free for more than 20 years, and walked beside hundreds of women as they rediscovered their strength through adversity. These experiences have shaped how she listens, the questions she asks, and the kinds of conversations she creates. The powerful truth when we own ours is that people don't love us less when they know our story; they love us more.
Today, she helps women discover what's possible on the other side of silence, one story at a time. Many guests go on to write books, build communities, launch podcasts, start businesses, and create meaningful impact from the very challenges they once tried to hide. As the founder of The Female Entrepreneur Organization, Jessica Stipanovic provides resources, education, and opportunities to help turn their experiences into purpose-driven platforms.
Share your story. Change your life.
New episodes each Tuesday.
Real Women LIVE
How to Survive Your First 90 Days Without Alcohol
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
Have you ever wondered how a single day can change your life forever? Meet Courtney Andersen, a sober life coach, podcast host, and author. She is the founder of Sober Vibes and National Sober Day and helps women quit drinking alcohol and thrive in sobriety.
Through Courtney's story, you'll learn the incredible power of community support in those early days of recovery and discover the valuable resources she offers through her online community and her book, "Sober Vibes: A Guide to Thriving in Your First Three Months Without Alcohol."
Courtney Andersen stresses the importance of meeting people where they are. Whether it’s 12-step programs, therapy, or sober coaching, she shares how finding what resonates with each person is key to long-term recovery. Courtney’s insights will leave you rethinking the conventional methods and eager to explore new ways to support your journey toward the best version of you.
Finally, get the inside scoop on how National Sober Day came to be and why it's a role in promoting sobriety. Courtney offers a peek into her book that guides individuals toward life transformation. Tune in for a heartfelt conversation filled with practical advice, humor, and a celebration of living an alcohol-free life.
Grab Courtney's FREE Resource:
Click Here: Sober Not Boing Calendar, https://www.courtneyrecovered.com/opt-in
Website- https://www.courtneyrecovered.com
IG- https://www.instagram.com/sober.vibes
Podcast- https://www.courtneyrecovered.com/podcast
Book- https://www.courtneyrecovered.com/sober-vibes-pre-order
KEEP LISTENING
⭐ Get new episodes + Jessica’s 3-2-1 newsletter:
https://www.jessicastipanovic.com/newsletter
⭐ Listen & follow Real Women LIVE:
https://www.jessicastipanovic.com/podcast
⭐ Join 14K+ on Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/realwomenlive
⭐ Love this episode? Follow the show, leave a review, and share it with one woman who needs to hear this story.
Real Women LIVE was formerly Sober Living Stories.
Share your story. Change your life.
Transformation Through Sobriety
Speaker 1My next guest describes the best day of her life is August 18th 2012 . That is the day she finally stopped the madness of addiction and started to do real living . Meet Courtney Anderson . She's a cheerleader for women looking to change their relationship with alcohol , supporting them to thrive , not just survive , without it . She's the founder of National Sober Day , host of the Sober Vibes podcast and an author , so join her today as she gives insights on how she has helped thousands of people find freedom going alcohol-free .
Speaker 1Welcome to the Sober Living Stories podcast . This podcast is dedicated to sharing stories of sobriety . We shine a spotlight on individuals who have faced the challenges of alcoholism and addiction and are today living out their best lives sober . Each guest has experienced incredible transformation and are here to share their story with you . I'm Jessica Stepanovic , your host . Join me each week as guests from all walks of life share their stories to inspire and provide hope to those who need it most . My guest today is Courtney Anderson . She's a sober coach and also the author of Sober Vibes , a guide to thriving in your first three months without alcohol . She's a sober coach that runs an online support community for sober , curious women of all ages , and she's also the founder of a national sober day , which is on September 14th . We're going to hear about a little bit all of that and her personal story . I can't wait to get into it . So welcome to the show , courtney .
Speaker 2Thank you . Thank you so much for having me on today .
Speaker 1Yeah , as we had said before , I'm very excited to have you on because , prior to launching this podcast , I was listening and watching yours and it was a big inspiration for me , as you being an author and me being a writer as well , and all of the help that you've been giving women throughout . I've just been kind of watching along . So I'm interested today to hit so many areas . We'll do what we can and I'll have you back on if need be . So just a little bit of like your personal story , give us a little bit of your background , and then also I'd love to talk about community and how important that is in early recovery and what you offer , and a little bit about your book .
Speaker 2Sure . So my journey started on August 18th of 2012 . And that was the day I finally decided to end the cycle of madness with alcohol that I had . You know , I was in this . I like to refer to it as a toxic relationship . It was , for sure , an addiction for me , but this toxic relationship that I could not get out of , and it started very innocently , at 19 years old .
Speaker 2I don't think anyone who starts drinking is like man . I cannot wait to have a drinking problem . I think for many of us it starts off very innocently in the time of , just like you know , a lot of kids and their teenagers and early twenties they drank . That's the reality of the situation . Right , that's what the kids are doing these days . So I started off at 19 and it was very . I live in the suburbs of Detroit so we could go over to Canada , to Windsor , because you could drink at 19 over there . So on my birthday it was like an instant love . I just felt like I could come out of my shell because I was kind of shy and I felt protected . So it was about 19 to 25 .
Speaker 2It grew darker and darker and darker with this relationship , more blacking out , more missed opportunities and at 25 , I had a feeling and I knew in my soul . It was like you're going to have to quit drinking one day . I don't know how it's going to happen or when it's going to happen , but alcohol will not play a part in your life . And then , from 25 to 29 , I tried to do what is now known as the moderation game . I tried to put a lot of rules on my drinking , like no shots , don't drink any whiskey , whiskey's the problem . Like , make sure that you eat , you know , beer only , no wine , don't mix anything . So it was like and that was that continuous cycle that was just exhausting , no matter what like I would go sometimes a week without drinking , two weeks without drinking , and I would be like , yeah , you know . And then it would always lead me back to where I started off at the beginning , where it was like , after a certain point , once you develop a problem with alcohol , there's no turning back to going on , how it felt at 19 years old , you know . So , finally , at 29 , I was about six weeks shy of being 30 . And that was the last night that I drank and for me , I had had a thousand rock bottoms before , a thousand situations of . Here is the universe showing you how you and alcohol are together and it's no good . And on this particular morning it was my last night .
Speaker 2The night before I worked at the bar and I was transitioning into the medical field full time , so it was my last shift and I woke up to my good girlfriend telling me I lost my rescue cat , fiona and that was the second time I lost her in a blackout and that my boyfriend at the time was like super pissed . So my boyfriend comes downstairs tells me that I threatened his life the night before and the cat's missing . And for three days the cat was gone . On that third day I finally found her .
Speaker 2But what happened in those three days is I sat there with one of the worst hangovers of my life , like where I was just dry , heaving on the floor and the guest bedroom Cause I couldn't even make it out of bed . I couldn't even get out of bed and I sat into that like , okay , if I find Fiona , I'm going to give , I'm going to give up alcohol . And I found her on that third day and I have not drank , so so my last drinking my last drinking night was August 17th , so I don't consider , I don't go to that third day .
Speaker 2When I found her , I'm like no , no , August 18th is the day that I you know , I I stopped drinking , so that was my day one .
Speaker 1That's incredible . And you know , I was listening to your very first episode of the Sober Vibes podcast and you talk about that . You know losing losing a cat , and how , like the wind stopped . It was like completely still , and so , like you know , you never know what form your , your end point or your you know it's going to come and and you knew it because it was just like an experience you had and you knew it was over and that was it . That's incredible . Yeah , I had , and you knew it was over and that was it . That's incredible .
Speaker 2Yeah , I think we all have this . I think we all have this where it is in the form of something . I've had two extremely spiritual moments in my life . In the beginning I was not down with God that was very hard for me to relate to at that time . But I had the spiritual moment . So two one when I found Fiona that day and then , you know , having my son , and that when I found her , it really was .
Speaker 2It was like this cat crawled out of the neighbor's deck , which I had searched right . She had like leaves in her hair , she looked pathetic , like it was just sad , and she like ran up to me , peed on me . But when she was running up to me and me like grabbing onto this cat , yeah , like the wind stopped . I couldn't hear the traffic on the road . It's honestly like it time froze . And it was in that moment I could feel it . I was like okay , she's here , she's alive , because I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if that cat would have never come back . I mean , we rescued her from the streets , so it's just one of those things . It's like how much more do you want to go through when you keep choosing something that gives nothing , you know . So , yeah , so it was definitely . It was a moment , and I think people have those moments when you talk to people and they tell you like it was just I had had enough , you know . So .
Speaker 1Yeah , yeah , very good , yeah , I agree , I agree , and yeah , and like it comes in any form , it comes in the form that's so important to you individually , you know , and that's not something you're ever going to forget , and it changed your life . It's incredible .
Speaker 2Yeah , so Fiona's still alive today . She's kicking and that boyfriend is my husband , so no , way Okay Wonderful .
Speaker 1So so , yeah , that was a good day .
Speaker 2Yeah , it was . It was like the hardest , but it was a life-changing decision . And that is what . When you quit drinking alcohol on whatever spectrum you are at in the , because there's so many types of what type of drinker are you and the level of the problem that it is I mean , at the end of the day , alcohol is the problem , but we just re everybody's individual of how they react to it . Right , and it was just . When you give up alcohol , that is a whole different lifestyle change . So it doesn't matter whether you're like I'm sober , I'm alcohol-free . However you identify with it , giving it up is a complete lifestyle makeover .
Speaker 1That's true , it's a redesign .
Speaker 2It is .
Speaker 1Yeah , so can you tell us a little bit about that , like that getting started on that , and where it brought you to kind of help other people do that as well ?
Speaker 2Sure . So those first couple of weeks I tried AA and at that time my anxiety and again , as I said , with , with , with how I I didn't have God in my life at that time , you know , and , and so when God was being thrown around in AA , just the word I'm like . This is uncomfortable , like I , you know , listening to people tell me that they had 10 , 15 years at a table . I'm like I am never going to get there and it's . But that is just the person who , where you're at , those first 90 days are so crucial . So I stopped going , really white knuckled it for two years and then on that second year I started to get into more like nutrition and exercise and get into that , and then I went back to therapy .
Speaker 2I did end up going back to AA my third year and that is where in AA and I was very comfortable at a woman's table , participated for the summer , and that is where the concept of sober vibes was actually created , because I sat there and listened to women of what they needed and what I needed at the time and for me it was . I felt like it needed more empowerment , you know , like sitting there and listening to women being like I wish I could go to a Tigers baseball game with some friends who aren't drinking , and it is with that . We didn't just get sober not to go out and participate in life . So for me , I wanted to kind of bridge the gap of what more women needed , and that's how Sober Vibes was created .
Speaker 1Wow , and so the community Sober Vibes or the podcast .
Speaker 2The podcast and the community started taking place around that time on Instagram and on a Facebook group , and the Facebook group I still have . I mean it's geared towards women . I don't let men in that Facebook group because I had been into previous sobriety and recovery groups where it was men and women and it just didn't land well with me because I really do think that it's totally different on how men and women recover and I didn't want a community to then be of a dating pool . That's not what we were there for , I felt like . And then , plus too , women can't really talk about things when there's a male energy involved , Honestly , because there's a lot that has happened with women that could trigger them with a male being in that room . So I just protect the ladies .
Speaker 1Protect the lady , yeah .
Speaker 2Women only .
Speaker 1I think there's a lot of truth to that and there's a comfortability that's just not present and there's a different energy in the room , and so , for what we're dealing with , I think that's completely , really true and relevant and it just creates like safe space . Talk about what you can talk about , and there's no guarding uh , there's no guarding your conversation . When you have a group of girls in the room , you're allowed to get to what you need to get to .
Speaker 2Right and for a lot of people . I'm sorry .
Speaker 2I was just going to say , and I mean , and then there's a . This is why I just think it's so different between men and women and , and you know , relapse and and and recover , it's because men don't have a second clock . It's completely different with women with hormones and monthly cycles and feeling like garbage and , you know , having more anxiety around your period and that triggering you to drink . So like men don't get that . So there's , there's just there's more to say upon that , that that whole thing . But it is true that it's just . Women are different biologically .
Speaker 1Absolutely Biologically , and I come from a 12-step background like tried and true for almost 20 years and I found a lot and I was in groups with men in those early times because I was just very hard and angry and so I resonated with them early on those one sentence lines , the directness . But now present day , I am with women's groups and I talk with women and that's where I find my real answers and the real answers to life and friendships and long-term sobriety . So I think that's great and so would you say in your community today , because I know we all come from different backgrounds . There's different .
Speaker 1There's people who are I'm going to die if I drink again . And there's other people who are like I don't want to do this anymore , I want to be healthier , I'm making bad choices . So there's other people who are like I don't want to do this anymore , I want to be healthier , I'm making bad choices . So there's different levels and , like the tried and true , real alcoholic , you know it could lead to death , it could lead to different things like that . So I love that the communities online , they open it up to everybody . You know you can be sober , curious , you can . So talk a little bit about that because I've found that to be really new to me but also really welcoming . And just as I found it to be welcoming in that group , I find online to be really open and I'm finding a lot of great suggestions and help that way .
Speaker 2Yeah .
Navigating Individual Sobriety Journeys
Speaker 2So when I started building Sober Vibes and sitting in um is sitting in the 12 step that summer , it was a thing of and not everybody is at the , and that's what I listened right Like and listened and observed in myself too of what I needed at that time . It's like not everybody is at the same spot and I've just learned this too of these years on my one-on-one clients . This is I don't have a program where we're like module one , we're doing this . Module two we're doing this Because it doesn't land with each person . I meet the person with where that they're at right Like I .
Speaker 2One summer I had a man hire me just to get to continue to get him sober through his trips he had planned because those were his triggers , and two years later the man's still sober .
Speaker 2So you know what I mean . So everybody is at a different spot , but they all have an issue with alcohol . So that is what I learned in the beginning of it's not , this is not so black and white and that it you know , at different places and you can't you can't in the sense , preach the same thing to everybody because not everybody goes with that one line where it's like you want to question some things or be like okay , I know many people who they quit drinking , but they still use marijuana to help with their anxiety and to sleep . I'm not to say that's right or wrong I am . It's like if that works best for you , that works best for you . I'm not going to take away from you that you're not sober , because if alcohol was a problem , that was the problem Right . So it's just it's . I just believe in meeting people with where they're at and and speaking to that .
Speaker 1Right , right . And so , yeah , it's individual and everyone's allowed to have their belief system and their recovery methods and what they do , and yeah .
Speaker 1So I love that you wrote a book because I'm a writer and I just want you know if anyone who was in there you had written . The book is called Sober Vibes A Guide to Thriving in your First Three Months Without Alcohol . I love it because it's a guide and I love it and that it targets early sobriety . So for any listeners that are struggling with what to do , how to do it , when to do it , I would highly suggest to look for Courtney Anderson's book , and can you talk a little bit about that and what is in there that could help people ?
Speaker 2Yep . So again , the guide walks you through those first three months , but it walks you through where it's . You are tailoring your sobriety and recovery to what works best for you and again , that's the approach . It's like this is it's not a one size fits all and you have to figure out what's what works best for for you , not what your neighbor has been doing for you know the past 50 years , not what your sister did , you know right , like , because there's also too some people go to rehab and some people don't , right , so it's just some people . The 12 steps works for them , some people don't . Um , but I do always recommend you need to try it . Don't , but I do always recommend you need to try it . Don't knock it until you try it a couple times , and I say this in the book too .
Speaker 2If you need to adjust and go to a different meeting , go to a different meeting . For women , I always say just sit at a women's table for a bit . You know , therapy , put that maybe therapy . Working with an addiction specialist is the route you can go right . Sober coach , that's another route that you can go Finding if you are very introverted and the meetings freak you out . In-person meetings freak you out , join an online community . So in the lot in the book it's set up in that way . Same thing , like you need to start at some point to journal out some feelings . If you're not , if you don't vibe with journaling , then and you are a painter paint some stuff out like , or do some adult coloring like , find stuff to do um with a little art therapy , or to start building upon building habits and and healthier hobbies during the time of your drinking . So it gets you through triggers . It gets you through socializing . I recommend to taking a little bit of a social break . If you were that social drinker of out and about , don't put yourself into situations too early when you're going through like on seven days you haven't drank for seven days , and then you go out to the same bar you and your friends used to go to and that's an easy trigger for you . So it's suggestions like that .
Speaker 2There's coach tips , there's journal prompts in it so you can write into the book . And even , too , if you are past the point of three months I have had a lot of people who are past that point of time still read it . I had one client that I worked with I think she was in her first . I think she was at like year two and then my book came out and she was and she read it and she was like , oh my God , she was like some of this work I never even did during that time and she was like it was just a great reminder .
Speaker 2Because that's the thing , and you know this too when it comes to long-term sobriety , you cannot get stagnant . You have to keep evolving , you have to keep remembering why , even if and even in the book I make people put their why site four times , I'm like , tell me your why again . You know in the journal , because you have to burn this into your brain . And my why now is not the same as my why when I quit drinking . My why now has now devolved since having a child , like because I want to be present .
Speaker 2I don't have those strong cravings . I'm not at a day one situation , but you kind of keep putting yourself in check . Because when you don't put yourself , your ass in check and your and your ego becomes better , you know your ego comes out . You've got to constantly work on that ego and it can . You can easily go back and to slip into going back and getting back into the cycle if you don't continuously doing the work and I'm not saying doing the work every day , because it's a lot different from year one to year five , right , but you have to put yourself at check from time to time .
Speaker 1Let's take a moment to hear a recovery story from one of my sponsors . At the age of 25 , recently married and a new father , jack found himself in a Texas rehab facility detoxing After 10 years of addiction . He was finally able to admit that it was time to get help . Not only did Soberlink allow him to be accountable and track his sobriety , soberlink allowed Jack to prove to himself and others that he could make the change he had always hoped for . Soberlink is the portable sobriety tracker taking the recovery world by storm . It has built-in facial recognition sensors that detect cheating and instant results sent to contacts . It's the number one accountability tool for keeping yourself honest and rebuilding trust . Visit wwwsoberlinkcom , backslash sober dash living and check out the show notes to click the link and receive $50 off your device today .
Speaker 1Now back to our guest . Absolutely , I think that's so true . So , yeah , I mean just to even because complacency is like not good , right , you can get complacent . You think you've got it all down and then you trip over something and you're off . You know so also . It just slipped my mind , but when you were talking I was like thinking to myself yeah , in later , long-term sobriety , sure you know , there's basic things you do in the first couple months . You had talked about the necessary 90 days .
Speaker 1It's tough but there's some real basic things that you learn there and , truthfully , it doesn't matter if you have six years , 10 years , 25 , if you never leave the basics in sobriety , you will never have to return to them and do them again . So , as far as your book being a guide for that , it's the same thing with reading every day , like reading something every day . It's like that reminder so important , so true , and I think the reasoning does change as your life evolves .
Speaker 2Yes , yes , yeah , well , and and it's interesting too , because , um , where was I just going to go out with this ? Sorry , it sprung something from a sprung , a thought from what you had said Complacency , yeah , see the mind brain kicks in the basics complacency .
Speaker 2Well , just the basics . And going back , oh , that's what I was going to say . So when you quit drinking , when you give up alcohol , and this is what I learned . So , 29 , almost 30 , I'm getting sober as an adult and I'm feeling like I'm a newborn , where I'm like I have to relearn how to live . You know , to this day , to this day , when I pay my bills on time , it's I still get . It brings a smile to my face because it's like I'm functioning , because for a decade I didn't pay bills like on time , right or before the due date , like and now I'm one who does before the due date , just just because , but I'm just like . That makes me feel good because you really have to . It's like a learning to relive an adult , because for a long time your maturity level and the way you were living was so stunted .
Speaker 1Yes , so true , so true . So let's talk about this for a second , because there's so much truth to that . So true , so true . So let's talk about this for a second , because there's so much truth
Rebuilding Life Through Sobriety
Speaker 1to that . And as a sober coach , you know , I I mirror it against people I surrounded myself with in early sobriety who would be like sponsorship or friends that were going through the same thing . But they had a very direct message .
Speaker 1I remember being on someone's back porch and I was complaining I'm like my , my house is a wreck , I don't have any gas in my car . And he said then why don't you go home , get off the back porch and head home and start working on one small area of your home so that when you get there you can feel at peace ? You're going to recreate each room in your home . You're going to go to the gas , so you're going to go put gas in your car . Okay , it's like these normal steps were so difficult , you know , like my brain was just not working . It's incredible , but so true . And so he helped me . You know , and I redid that I did a drawer at first when I was washing those dishes . I was washing those dishes , you know , and just those little steps that got you back into the normal flow .
Speaker 1And then you know when I was with other people and say , hey , we don't , we don't give out awards for opening checking accounts . That's what you should have been doing all along . It's so funny but so true . But that was so rewarding to me . You know a different , a different recycle bin . I'm proud of it . Like this is what's going out there now . Like this is like your whole world is . Like you know , you get you get pretty much returned to a member of society , like a functioning sister , mom , daughter , worker . Everything gets to exactly where it needs to be . So it's . It's great . Yeah , I totally get that , and coaching helps with that . You need somebody there to like walk you through that .
Speaker 2Yeah , right , like and however you find it , whether that is a friend or whatnot . You know my sister . My sister had addiction issues and and has been in recovery and same like when she's like yes , I paid my bills on time . I was like good job , kimmy . Like you know , and she's like it's just funny you're saying that to me , but I'm like , but I get what it's like to be there where you do like you were the functioning member of society and you do need people to help you , because just because you quit drinking , it doesn't mean that the chaos stopped , because then that talks about behaviors that are brought into your sober life .
Speaker 2You know , for a couple of years maybe I would hit snooze , hit snooze on my alarm , wake up , jump out of bed , run out the door to work , like , and it was rush , rush , rush . And a couple of years in I'm like this doesn't feel good anymore . This still feels like I'm in my active relationship with alcohol . I don't want to be speeding down the road to get to work on time if all I did was just wake up a little bit early and set the tone for my day and stop with the chaos Because I think for so many of us and stop with the chaos , because I think for so many of us , it's not so much about the alcohol that you get in that cycle with it's .
Speaker 2You're chasing chaos , and then you , because a lot of us were born into chaos or something became chaotic in our life , and we get in that cycle where , eventually , we have to kind of bring ourselves back to a baseline of like . Okay , we have to kind of bring ourselves back to a baseline of like okay , I'm not going to continue to chase chaos , like my home's going to be peaceful . I'm going to set the tone for my day , because if something messes up and happens later on the day , I don't have control of that . But at least I woke up on the right side of the bed and I wasn't rushed all day long .
Speaker 1I love that . Yeah , you're kind of like resetting the baseline .
Speaker 2Yeah , so good .
Speaker 1It's like if you have to be somewhere at 10 , tell yourself you have to be somewhere at 945 . Yeah , yeah , yeah . Peaceful home , yeah yeah , and that's not what I do too .
Speaker 2If I have people over and it's like I'm attention for people to be here at four , I'm like come over at three 30 . And I just did this for my dad's little birthday party over the weekend . I told them all three , 30 and guess what ?
Speaker 1time they showed up for .
Speaker 2So I'm like great it all worked out , because that is the thing it's just like you you gotta . It's just a rewiring of what works best for you .
Speaker 1Rewiring .
Speaker 2Yes , of who you are , cause who you are in your sober life is not gonna match who you were in your active relationship with alcohol .
Speaker 1That's true , yeah , and I love how you said it's like a bridge back to life . I had someone tell me that this is not completely who you are . This is a bridge back to life and so and that's something else I really love about you and what you bring to the recovery community , because you have a lot of laughter , a lot of fun Like your podcast is fun , you have no problems like just talking how it is and that sometimes we think it's so serious and life is just going to be so blah and it's just not true and life is just going to be so blah and it's just it's just not true . So what have you found with that ? You know , as far as doing things in sobriety , with laughter , yeah , it's just having fun and getting out there in life again , you know .
Speaker 2Yeah , well , and I think it was probably because it was one of my coping mechanisms like just to always laugh . And so I've allowed that and I say that in the book to like allow yourself to laugh , whether it's just you put on a comedy special or you put on a funny show , that this doesn't have to be all serious in doom and gloom every day . Right , like , and allow yourself to go have fun . Because , again , you didn't just quit drinking just to be serious pants , like you want to go out and do some living and see some sights . So like , yeah , those first couple interactions out and about are going to be a little bit different . That first wedding you're going to go to is going to be different . That first trip you're going to do , all those firsts are going to be different .
Speaker 2But it eventually gets . It gets easier over time . But as far as going out and having fun because that's that's like the number one there's like three things people are always scared . It's like hold some back from quitting drinking . Am I going to be boring ? Um , am I going to lose friends and what ?
Speaker 2is the other one for am I going to be boring , lose friends ? And um , um , usually it has to do with a relationship Like how is it going to look with my relationship without drinking ? Right Cause a lot of two , a lot of couples , become drinking buddies . Um , so going out and having fun , you have to look at it . It's like is your current situation like , how fun is that ? So for me , early on , I'm like okay , are these hangovers that have me like on the couch for hours the next day , dry heaving and then ordering like $30 in Domino's and eating one pizza , pizza and then throwing that up , like you know ? Is that really fun ? Is waking up the next day after a blackout or a brownout being like , what did I say , you know ? And nowadays it's the simple thing of like ? Is waking up the next day remembering your child's expression have you , have you drunk the night before ? Is that fun ?
Speaker 2It's a shame and anxiety and depression cycle . You're , you're on for the next day fun , and that's where you have to look at it . Like , still to this day . My husband and I went out last weekend and we were going out and I just had a smile on my face . Still to this day , when we go and do something on the weekends , I'm grateful for it because I'm not at home laying on a couch wishing I could be out in the world but can't move because I drank myself to death the night before , you know . So it's just one of those things and , like again , somebody's happiness could be just not having that anxiety the next day . And going back to women women tend to have that anxiety more the next day and going to that mom guilt or that women guilt and that shame cycle , you know . And as we age then we enter in perimenopause and then menopause and drinking on top of that is it's just , it's not good , it's not good .
Speaker 1It makes it all worse .
Speaker 1It's not good , it makes it all worse . Yeah , so true , goodness . Yeah , yeah , yeah , so much good there that you were just saying yeah , I think it holds a lot of meaning , like life , when you get through something that's really difficult and you come out of it and you make a decision for yourself . It's like little things in life just take . It takes on new meaning and and you know people are really grateful for that . I know I am Um , and it doesn't go away . You know that deep gratitude it's . It's there all the time , cause it's very uh . I think it's important to remember . Would you say that as well ? It's important to remember when it was bad , but it's important never to forget that you know , yeah , when it's good , yeah , and I've said that too in my book .
Speaker 2Like I used to reflect back on Sundays for a long time . Now I just have to do it really like remembering situations back of my drinking days , of where it took me . I will never regret any of that time because I had some good times . Not all my drinking experience was extremely bad . I'll give it like 10% , but 90% of the time it never ended well with me and but I look back at just like . Sometimes it was just like some Sundays it was just an extremely bad hangover or me puking on the off the side of my bed , but that helped me go . That that continued to help me go and push through and be like this is not . This is not .
Speaker 2I don't ever want to go back there . And it's not living in the past , because I think it's hilarious when people are like well , I don't want to live in the past . And it's like or you know , when you get trolls on social media being like you know you sure do talk about quitting drinking a lot it's like you'll never get it . You'll never get it on how different your life can be . And we are so fortunate because we get to live two lives in one . We get to live the life in the relationship with alcohol and then we get to see what life is like after the relationship with alcohol .
Speaker 1So good , absolutely , yeah , wow , for real . So listen , I wanted to ask you this because I , how did you ? I came across that you had been , you're the founder of the National Sober Day , which is on September 14th . So how does one find a day and how did this come about ? So just let us hear about that .
Speaker 2So it was back in 2019 . I actually was watching a reality show , because I do love the Bravo channel , and this girl on this reality show founded a national holiday . I was like , oh my God , this is how it's done .
Creating National Sober Day
Speaker 2So the next day I went to the National Calendar Day company and I submitted it and so I wanted it to be . You know , when there's a world of like National Margarita Day and National Vodka Day , I'm like there's got to be a National Soaper Day , and I thought that somebody would have already taken it . And the lady was like there's , she's like I'm just , she's like I'm shocked there's not a day for this .
Speaker 2And I was like , okay , well , you know , and I paid for it and I submitted all of the information and I chose September , because national recovery month is in September . So I wanted to honor that . And then I did September 14th , because both of my grandmothers passed on that day different years , so I just wanted to honor them . And one of those grandmothers actually gave up drinking when her grandson was born , when the first grandson was born , because she had an issue , and then the other grandmother volunteered for the American Red Cross for like 35 years . So I just wanted to pay a little bit of tribute to them , for me personally , so .
Speaker 1Yeah , well , you know it's a great national sobriety sober day . I mean , it's a great it , without even knowing that you created that . I think , probably like the second post that I ever did on my Instagram when I had this sober living stories Instagram account , it was on national sober day and I , like , gave a tribute , like a shout out to that and because , yeah , it's something people can resonate with , I love that you did that . I love that you took initiative and made it into something that everyone could use , but it has meaning for you .
Speaker 2Yeah , and that , and that's the whole thing too . It's like you know I , every day you should celebrate being sober , but is this is the reality of it ? It's because we're just at the starting point of this , as you were , as we were talking before of , like there wasn't online communities , right , like this is . It brings more awareness to addiction and sobriety , and it brings awareness to people who you know aren't . If you're not in the algorithm of sobriety and recovery , you were unaware that this whole thing does not exist . Or our podcasts You're not looking for those podcasts , right , until you are in the situation of all right , I'm going to try to quit drinking , um , so it's really just a celebration for all of those who are living sober and the awareness of addiction and addiction and recovery .
Speaker 2And also , too , if you've got a family member who wants to support you to not not drink that day , you know , just to support you . So it's really just it's a party for all and extra yeah , and just extra , extra awareness , because , again , there's so much that goes into this . You know it's like an onion and and um , there's a lot of mental health issues underneath , underneath a lot of it when people quit drinking . That you know so . So it's just , it's just added awareness .
Speaker 1Yeah , celebration , I love it . I think it's great it's like , for there's a lot of great books out there that , well , even before I started writing one , I read so many great books that I love , like Blackout or A Million Little Pieces or Drinking a Love Story , and so to see you come out with a book , a guide , that anyone looking to have an alcohol-free life can grab and kind of walk through , I love that's a process in itself too . There's a difference between , like , writing down your story and then talking about it . It's like it takes a lot of courage to write a book and put it out to the world that talks about your alcoholism . So I love that you're part of that community and that you came on today Because , like I said , I've been following you for a while .
Speaker 1I love what you're doing . I think it's helping a ton of women and I would love to have you on again if you would just to talk about that sober author journey , because I think a lot of people are on it . A lot of people are wanting to write books , but they're not quite sure how to go about doing it , so that'd be something I'd love to look at later . Could you tell listeners where to find you , where they can connect with you during the week and how to find your book .
Speaker 2Yep . So I party the most on Instagram . Out of all of these social medias , instagram is my jam and one that will forever stay there . So I'm on Instagram . At Sober Vibes I'm really I will have to say I'm like 90% in DMs . I mean some people when I see their spam I'm like I'm not even reading this . So I party in the DMs . If you need to reach out , you can listen to the Sober Vibes podcast and also to my website , courtneyrecoveredcom , and then you can find my book on Amazon Barnes , noble . I mean wherever books are sold you can look it up , but just Amazon and Barnes and Noble . So yeah , Great .
Speaker 1Well , thank you so much for being on . I look forward to seeing you again and it was great , great conversation .
Speaker 2Yes , thank you . Thank you for having me on .
Speaker 1Thank you for tuning into the Sober Living Stories podcast . If you have been inspired , consider subscribing and sharing with anyone who could use hope in their lives . Remember to stay tuned for more inspiring stories in the episodes to come . To view our featured author of the month or to become a guest yourself , visit wwwjessicastephanoviccom .