Welcome to the "Sober Living Stories" podcast, a platform built on the power of personal stories. Each Tuesday, Jessica Stipanovic, your host, shines a spotlight on individuals who have undergone remarkable life transformations to inspire hope in listeners worldwide.
Each guest shares their story, giving examples of bold beginnings disguised as endings and life lessons that teach how dark moments often hold the key to unlocking the brightest light.
This podcast inspires positive life changes. Whether you're sober curious, living an alcohol-free lifestyle, have overcome a challenge and lived to tell about it, or support someone who wants to shed a habit in light of a new one, our episodes promise to leave you feeling understood, hopeful, and motivated to create meaningful transformations in your life.
Join us for powerful new episodes every Tuesday, where the most difficult life experiences serve to uplift and inspire. Regardless of your background or belief system, the "Sober Living Stories" podcast is your ultimate destination for uplifting narratives where hope shines from the most unexpected places.
In addition to featuring our weekly guests, each month on the "Sober Living Stories" podcast, we have the privilege of sitting down with a new author, delving into their story and the wisdom they've shared in their book.
Here's the exciting part: their book becomes the giveaway for that month.
Tune in every Tuesday for brand-new episodes and your chance to win the gift of a transformed life.
Beyond Perfectionism: Tina Sasso's Story of Empowerment and Positive Change
•Jessica Stipanovic •Season 1•Episode 40
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In this episode of the Sober Living Stories podcast, we're joined by Tina Sasso, a nurse practitioner, holistic wellness health coach, and survivor of relationship trauma who is passionate about empowering Women Survivors of Relationship Trauma. Her mission is to help them take charge of their health, boost their energy and confidence, and achieve their optimal health and life goals.
Today, Tina bravely shares her story for the first time of growing up in an alcoholic household. Tina reflects on her experiences cleaning up after her parents' late-night parties and the overdeveloped sense of responsibility she felt as the eldest child trying to maintain order at a young age. Her upbringing led to patterns of codependency and perfectionism that shaped her life choices, relationships, and even her achievements in academics and dance.
Through our conversation, Tina reveals how she transformed those early struggles into a positive, successful life as an entrepreneur dedicated to helping others. She opens up about the transition from high school to college, the recent realization that sobriety offered unmatched benefits, and the challenges of balancing a social life with academics while avoiding following in her family's footsteps. Now celebrating nearly a year of sobriety, Tina shares how this journey has led to personal and professional growth, including launching her own business and coaching other women to reach their potential.
This episode highlights the powerful impact of therapy, EMDR, and making positive choices. As Tina’s entrepreneurial journey continues, she’s committed to guiding others through their transformations and towards a healthier, happier AF life.
She supports women in a private Facebook community called "Tina Sasso-Love Your Health," a 90-minute Health Audit session, a 10-day natural detox challenge called “Shred10 Challenge”(grab yours free below!), a 12-week personalized 1:1 Health Coaching program, and a customized Small Group Health Coaching program.
Grab your Shred 10: 10-Day Natural Detox Challenge normally $27 yet FREE for listeners! (click below):
Growing up in an alcoholic home. As the oldest child, Tina lived through and cleaned up the aftermath of many late night parties her parents had. She learned to ignore the elephant in the room. As an adult, Tina had several moments where alcohol did not lead to the best decisions and she always feared crossing the line into problem drinking or alcoholism itself. After two years of healing work, she's been a nurse practitioner and a health and wellness coach all along. She's now bringing that decision she made to be alcohol-free into her practice to help others. Listen in to hear her personal story what it was like and what it's like now.
Speaker 1:
Welcome to the Sober Living Stories podcast. This podcast is dedicated to sharing stories of sobriety. We shine a spotlight on individuals who have faced the challenges of alcoholism and addiction and are today living out their best lives sober. Each guest has experienced incredible transformation and are here to share their story with you. I'm Jessica Stepanovic, your host. Join me each week as guests from all walks of life share their stories to inspire and provide hope to those who need it most. Welcome to another episode of the Sober Living Stories podcast. Meet Tina Saso, a family nurse practitioner and holistic wellness health coach. Today, she's going to share her personal story. We'll discuss her growing up in an alcoholic home to the point where she made her own decision to let go of alcohol, and we're going to hear about the freedom and growth she experienced from doing that. Welcome, Welcome, Tina. Welcome to the show.
Speaker 2:
Thank you, Jessica. I am so grateful to be here. Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, I'm excited that you're on to hear the benefits of what this year has looked like you being alcohol-free, but I'm interested to hear your personal story. I know a lot of listeners can relate to growing up in an alcoholic home and some of the traits that you took on from that and how you took it in your adult life to heal from that. So let's just jump in. Take us as far back as you would like to go.
Speaker 2:
Thank you so much. So for me, I think, when I think about sharing my story with this, it brings me back to when I was a little girl who would go to her bedroom. So my parents were young and they were alcoholics. Two of them are in recovery now. Um, I have a step dad and mom that are um in uh recovery and a dad who, you know, drinks, um, but not excessively.
Speaker 2:
But growing up there was a lot of parties, you know, every weekend was um alcohol. There was also drugs involved. I was the oldest child and so I would kind of, you know, see the paraphernalia, see the drinks, see the mailbox you know that was on the ground after a party night and so just kind of cleaning up after all that. But when I was a real little girl memories that I don't remember clearly I remember going in my bedroom and just playing music and just escaping because there was fighting. My dad would get really angry and violent when I was really little, and this was, I know, under five years old, because my mom left when, when I was five years old, and so I know there was physical abuse and there was yelling and there was lots of, you know, lots of negativity. Obviously that came with with the alcohol, and so I would just I remember just going to my room and closing the door and just drowning it out with music. I also got into just dancing, you know, when I was little it was just an outlet for me.
Speaker 2:
However, I also remember, as I was a little bit older about 12 years old, you know, having younger siblings I would just really kind of I learned to make everything okay, to fix everything. You know, everything wasn't okay, but I was learning codependency at an early age and I was, you know, cleaning up after them. I was, you know, making sure the kids the younger ones were okay, sure, the kids, the younger ones were okay. So those times when there was parties like that, I would just be the one to kind of feel like it was my responsibility when it wasn't at 12 years old. So those are some of the early memories I remember. And then, as I got older, realizing now, after some healing, that I took that into relationships. So I went into choosing men who I could fix. Subconsciously I didn't think about it that way, but looking at it now I realized that's what I was doing.
Speaker 1:
Oh, wow, that's interesting. Yeah, so I hear about codependency time and again when a guest comes on and I have never really looked at that in my own history, but now have been since hearing about it. And then, yeah, that's interesting how you took it into relationships. So, from your 12 year old self, what did your teenage years look like?
Speaker 2:
So as a teen, I was the one that you know did really good. You know, I felt like that I could control how I did in school. I could control how well I did in dance, and so I was. I would just pour myself into my studies. I was really, really hard on myself. I still can be, but perfectionism was my drug of choice at the time, you know, as a teenager. So I just, yeah, I danced, I competed, I did well on school and in dance. But looking back, I know now that I could control those things, even though I couldn't control the environment.
Speaker 1:
Sure, yeah, I often hear people can either. You know, regardless of where you come from, if you grew up in an alcoholic home, I know some people take the direction of you know, copying what they've seen, and others take the direction of not doing anything and avoiding that at all costs. So it seems like you know. I never heard anybody speak of perfectionism as a drug of choice, but I can completely understand that and I think that was really well said and it will resonate with many people. So, going into after high school, what did it look like?
Speaker 2:
So after high school I was introverted when I was younger and just kind of focused on school and dance and perfecting those things. And then when I went to college, it's like a switch. I was extroverted overnight so and I did the things I said I wasn't going to do as far as partying and getting drunk, and every weekend I partied. Now I it wasn. Now I wasn't with men or those kind of things, but I would go with my girlfriends, I would dance and I would drink and I had a card. I was underage. They came and they cut the card so I could go to the bars and I was going at 19, 18, 19. I can't remember when I got. I think I was 19. So two years before I legally should have been, and I was partying every weekend.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, and it was like you're probably your first taste of like freedom from your home to being at college. I know it was for me and kind of a similar. So throughout college, did it change? Did you flip it again back to academic excellence and all, or did you follow a different path?
Speaker 2:
Yeah, I still, I still studied hard. Looking back, it was, it was harder because I was probably, just like you know, dehydrated and sleep deprived and all the things that come with partying hard, but you know, a little more resilient, you know that long ago. But I so I still worked hard in my, my grades. I think the perfectionism was always there. But I also, you know, looking back, there was definitely problem drinking. You know I drank too much for many years on and off, and I always feared, as I got older, my twenties, my thirties, even into my forties, that I always feared um it being more than just, you know, occasionally drinking too much where I didn't. Besides, so much alcoholism in my family, my aunts, uncles, my parents, I always had that in the back of my mind, that fear, that worry about, you know, having an alcoholic you know Right, sure, absolutely, yeah, they.
Speaker 1:
They say it's a family disease and you know that genetic predisposition is could be real and and often is. So, yeah, I can understand that fear. So how did that play out for you? Did that cause you to pull back, or no, for many years, did you?
Speaker 2:
continue to have problems with that For many years, like I was, it was always something that didn't affect my work, or you know, you know, I, I became a nurse and then I became a nurse practitioner and I, you know, and I, you know, it never affected as far as how I did professionally.
Speaker 1:
Your professional life.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, sure, but relationally, looking back, it did, because I've spent. I made many choices, partners, you know, different things. I made many choices that weren't the best choices for me and I, looking back the common thread, until until the last couple of years, I didn't realize this, but the common thread was always alcohol. So it's what kept me back, it's what kept me to make, you know, making bad choices. The thread was always just alcohol was the only thing I could come back to. That was the common thread.
Speaker 1:
So what did? What does it like Now for you? You know you gave a good picture of where you came from, but I know that you recently made a decision to live alcohol free. So how did you come up to that decision? Was there any turning point it was? Did anything happen? Or did you just decide on your own, like this is something I'm going to give a try, yeah.
Speaker 2:
I think that, um, and throughout over the last few years, I've been thinking about it. A few years ago I was in a relationship that was not healthy. It was my, the last relationship I was in, and I was just really reflecting and he, he was hiding drinking, he was, you know, I'm pretty sure he's an alcoholic. And I found out, you know, in that relationship. I found out, you know, in that relationship and during that time I thought, wow, you know what, about what for me, like, how is this serving me or not serving me? But really over the years it's just been a cumulative thing. And then I started, really the last two years as I was single, you know, not in relationship just really doing a lot of healing work. I was doing EMDR, I was going through another recovery program for healing from narcissistic abuse and I was going just doing a lot of self love and self care and healing.
Speaker 2:
And in that process I really got down to what is serving me in my life and what is not serving me and the things that were not serving me I needed. I was just letting go of one by one, so toxic relationships, you know, negative self-talk, and then alcohol, I knew was one of those things. That was the biggest thing really that I felt I needed to let go of for me to be my healthiest self, and for me, I have faith too, so it was what is going to help me live in line with what God, the best that God, has for me. You know my best, yes, there's a book, but you know, to live my best, yes, and to live the best life that I have.
Speaker 2:
I, you know we don't, life is short and you know what is going to serve me for the remainder of my time here, you know, and for me, alcohol just was that thread that just I felt like I thought about it so many times over the years. I finally got to this point where I just needed to let go of everything that wasn't serving me. I also read a book called Euphoric, and that book really was. I read that at a time when I was ready to really let go, and so, yeah, that was June 11th last year, coming up on a year, and I've never felt better and I'm so grateful for that decision.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, isn't that amazing? Like sometimes books just like jump off the shelf. They're like you have to read this and it changes. It helps change your life, you know, and I really commend you for you know, going to therapy doing that work. I'm not familiar with EMDR, but I do have a friend that does that type of therapy. So what is that type of therapy? Just briefly.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, so it's just it's eye movement, desensitization, reprogramming, and that's what it stands for. And basically, whether it's sound or you know, you can kind of follow a finger, you can have the sound that beats in your ears back and forth, but the therapist, the trauma-informed therapist, brings you back to a time where of trauma or just a really challenging time in your past, and then basically replaces those memories with empowering, strong, new memories, and so when you're triggered or when something comes up in the going forward, you kind of have your reprogrammed, your brain is rewired in a way so that when you are exposed to that trigger or that memory or that situation or that environment again, you will respond differently because you have, you know, replaced it with new memories and new thoughts.
Speaker 1:
Wow, yeah, that's really good, and therapy too. Thank you for that because I was always curious about what that was. I had no idea. So everybody deserves to be in a healthy relationship, you know. But oftentimes, you know, we take things from our childhood or our past and we just choose incorrectly for many years, you know, until we grow an awareness about how, to, why we were doing that and why we chose who we chose, and make changes, you know, based on the better version of who we're becoming. And you know cause.
Speaker 1:
I think everybody deserves to be free from, you know, living out habits that hinder us and to become the best version of themselves. You know, and I commend you for taking those steps to do that that hinder us and to become the best version of themselves. You know, and I commend you for taking those steps to do that. I congratulate you on being alcohol free for as long as you have been, and it seems like it's really was a great choice. And you know, letting go of those toxic relationships, um, identifying what was hindering you and then taking this action, steps to do it you know so so the book euphoric um I I know that you had said prompted you.
Speaker 1:
What were a couple of things in that book that jumped out at you. If somebody wanted to, you know, take it off the shelf and read it for themselves.
Speaker 2:
That's a good question, cause it's been so long since I read it. Um so for um. I think just she gave a lot of grace throughout the. You know I'm big about grace.
Speaker 2:
Really just giving yourself the grace and space to just be where you're at on your journey and not comparing, and just you know, doing what's best for you, what serves you best, and so for me, throughout the book she did talk about that. She said, you know, whether this is something you decide to decrease your alcohol or there's something that you decide to ditch, you know for good. She kind of allows you to be where you're at through the book. So I just liked that.
Speaker 2:
She talked about becoming present and really being able to join the moment, which I have been more aware of the last couple years, of just being in the moment and enjoying that, because in the past I've been so looking, you know, thinking about the past or worrying about the future and just really being in the moment. She also talks a lot about like just letting go of the shame and, you know, stepping into the best version of yourself, your best health. So yeah, it's just a lot of what she's talked about is something that kind of I already heard or resonated with or believed, and but the way she put it together in this book and focused on ditching the alcohol was just the perfect combination for me and the perfect, perfect time for me to to read it yeah, I think great, yeah, giving yourself grace and is so important.
Speaker 1:
And also the present tense. You know, um, with codependency, you know taking care of so many people, or thinking that we have to and nobody even asked. Also, being perfectionist. Those are a lot of my friend says tabs that are open in our brain, right Like we have so many cause we're responsible for so many things. And when you learn to not be or as I'm learning not to be, nobody asked, I'm not responsible, everybody's responsible for their own lives, kind of like, closes that up a little bit and so we are able to focus better and show up as better versions of ourselves, and I really agree with that. So what do you have for your future? Like, what is your hope for your newfound sobriety? Do you want to continue it? Is it something you're just taking by the day?
Speaker 2:
Yeah, so I love living an alcohol-free life and I really believe that it's what I'm going to continue. At this point I'm coming up on a year but I really feel like at first I didn't want to say this is going to be forever. I liked the idea of thinking like you know, yeah, this is just one day at a time and I'm not sure if this is three months or six months or what is this going to be. But now that I'm coming up on a year and seeing all the benefits which I can share in a minute, but like seeing all the benefits that I've had in my life, because with letting go of that, I think it's for me it's confirmation that this is the healthier life for me, that this is the best version of myself when I'm not drinking. And you know, mocktails are really good. I've found, you know, there's a lot of mocktails out there.
Speaker 1:
The world is definitely opening up for people who are not drinking. You know, you know 10, 10, 20 years ago, like I don't know, I mean, it was just like drink your water and, you know, find your place. And now there's non-alcoholic bars and just everything. And you know, I never went for that for the first decade. I just wasn't really interested. So so I guess I was kind of scared to to yeah, Cause to me I didn't want to glamorize it Right. But other people today they're like growing up in a new environment, so and they're finding that, that they are good with that. So it's really an individual choice. And also tell us some of the benefits that you've experienced this year.
Speaker 2:
Yeah. So this past year, you know I I am a you know, like you introduced, but a nurse practitioner and health coach. My desire really is to leave the clinic full time and to really have my own business. And so with that, you know you need help and you know, with letting go of alcohol, I really believe that it's helped me just really go after my dreams. And so I got a business coach I worked with for several months. I'm working a small group with another coach now I just started with and really just taking steps into entrepreneurship, which I put off for years. You know, instead of coming home on a Friday night and having a glass of wine or two, I'm, like you know, preparing my for my small group health coaching, or I'm, you know, writing an article for the Helpful Living magazine, or I'm doing things that are going to help move me forward instead of just numb me.
Speaker 1:
And you know, because I quote unquote need to relax, yeah, yeah. So you're replacing it with things that are creative, professional ground. You know, you're like setting the groundwork for your online business, and that's really, that's really great Cause I think alcohol can do that. It can kind of make you stand still. It's like that old bar stool mentality or sitting there saying I'm going to do this one day and then it just never happens. You know, you can, you can write the article, but maybe it's not submitted and and paid for. You know.
Speaker 1:
So I had that experience for many years submitted and paid for you know so I had that experience for many years, so I can understand that and relate, yeah. So what else is another benefit?
Speaker 2:
Have you had any physical benefits from putting down alcohol? Yes, so brain fog, my gosh, the clarity. Just less brain fog, more mental clarity and confidence. You know alcohol is a depressant and it really can fuel. Even though I've never been clinically depressed, I know that looking back, I mean even just over, just over a year ago. You know, coming home, like I said Friday night, I'm not not in relationship alone having wine. I mean I was, I'd be crying, so I was very emotional. So I'm less emotional. I'm have more clarity, less brain fog, more confidence, more energy. I mean to work out to, to take, you know, to walk I walk almost daily and to just stay physically active. I'm also not as dehydrated because alcohol is dehydrating. So there's so many benefits physically but energy, confidence, decreased brain fog and then just less anxiety and depression. I mean mental health can really take a toll. Alcohol can take a toll on mental health.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, yes, I agree with that. I think a lot of times we well for myself, I thought it was helping me for so long. It's like, well, I can't put this down. I mean, a lot of times we well for myself, I thought it was helping me for so long. It's like, well, I can't put this down. I mean, this is the only thing I have while I'm so depressed or I have so much anxiety, not knowing that it was actually making it worse, and so, when we put it down, the increased confidence it's scary, of course, to put a habit down that's been helped.
Speaker 1:
You seemingly think it's been helping you for so many years, but, you know, in order to move forward, I think we have to do things that are uncomfortable and things that we're fearful of, and the benefits are so big, you know, and brings you back to a life of meaning. You know productivity, so, and I think that you definitely said that you're experiencing all of that I'm so grateful that you came on and you shared your story. I think it was so impactful and it's going to touch so many listeners. So can you tell us what you're going to be doing in the future, where people can connect with you during the week and what you have coming up.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, so right now I've actually been blessed with an opportunity to work with women in recovery and I'm doing a small group health coaching program and I'm really enjoying it. Where you can find me is right now I'm working still on the website, so you can find me right now on my email address, which is hello at TinaSasocom. I'd like to also offer a free Shred 10 challenge. It's just a natural detox challenge for anybody who's interested. You can just email me at hello at TinaSasocom. You can also find me and I can connect you to the free Facebook private Facebook group called Tina Sossel, love your Health. And so, yeah, if you can do that, that would be great. And then I'm also on Facebook and LinkedIn.
Speaker 1:
Can you tell us a little bit about the free resource that you're going to be? I'll put it in the show notes and anybody can grab it.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, so Shred 10 is a natural detox challenge. So it's the 10 is 10 days, but it's also 10 habits that you can kind of, you know, adhere to guidelines, but loosely, you know, with grace, however, you know, wherever you're at, like drinking more water, getting seven, at least seven, hours of sleep, cutting out, you know, sugar, refined sugars and processed foods, you know. So there's there's a list of 10 things and those, those 10 things, are in that shred 10. So I actually recorded 12 videos and intro, 10 other videos and a closing, and I don't have a neat little bow package with a bow on it yet, but I'm happy to send over an email to anybody that's interested and wants to love it.
Speaker 1:
I'm definitely gonna get that. I'm requesting that. I'm requesting that right away, so I love that. I think that's great. Simple steps for 10 days.
Speaker 2:
Yes, yeah.
Speaker 1:
So I'd love to have you back on when your website launches, when your health coach takes off, Because this was such a positive conversation and I want to have more of those. So thank you so much for being here. I'd love to have you back and check out the show notes and find Tina on LinkedIn, Facebook and everything that we had just spoke about. Thank you so much for being here today.
Speaker 2:
Thank you, jessica, for having me. I appreciate it for having me, I really appreciate it.
Speaker 1:
Thank you for tuning into the Sober Living Stories podcast. If you have been inspired, consider subscribing and sharing with anyone who could use hope in their lives. Remember to stay tuned for more inspiring stories in the episodes to come. To view our featured author of the month or to become a guest yourself, visit wwwjessicastepanoviccom.
