Sober Living Stories Podcast

Finding Solace in Spirituality: Veronica Barragan's Holistic Approach to Inner Peace

Jessica Stipanovic Season 1 Episode 41

What if the key to overcoming addiction lies not in conventional methods, but in the depths of spiritual and holistic practices? 

Join us as Veronica Barragan, a remarkable holistic therapist and wellness counselor, recounts her challenging journey from a traditional Catholic upbringing in Mexico to battling and ultimately overcoming alcoholism. Veronica's story takes us through her experiences as an immigrant child facing emotional neglect and depression, the pressures of early marriage, and the dual life she led as a successful real estate broker struggling with high-functioning alcoholism. Discover the turning point that transformed her life and ignited her passion for helping other women achieve sobriety and emotional well-being.

Veronica eloquently discusses the generational patterns of alcoholism in her family and how recognizing these behaviors led her to seek healing through spiritual modalities rather than conventional methods like Alcoholics Anonymous. Despite her career burnout, she found solace and a path to recovery in holistic practices, significantly influenced by the wisdom of her son. Veronica’s reflections underscore the importance of compassion and understanding in the nuanced journey of addiction recovery, highlighting the individualized nature of healing.

Embark on an extraordinary exploration of self-discovery and healing as Veronica details her transformational experiences with psychedelic therapies and Kundalini Yoga. A high school presentation on indigenous plant medicines led her family to the Amazon jungle, where they worked with shamans using sacred plants like Ayahuasca and San Pedro. Yet it was Kundalini Yoga that provided her the lasting tools to regulate her nervous system and achieve emotional healing. Through her virtual group coaching academy, Veronica now guides women on a transformative journey of holistic and generational healing, emphasizing the power of daily meditation and forgiveness in overcoming addiction. Tune in to hear her powerful story and the holistic approaches that have changed her life and the lives of many others.

To connect with Veronica Barragan:
Social Media Links:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/veronicabarraganiam
YouTube
: https://www.youtube.com/@veronicabarragan
Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/veronicabarraganiam/
TikTok
: @veronicabarraganiam

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Speaker 1:

Welcome to the Sober Living Stories podcast. This podcast is dedicated to sharing stories of sobriety. We shine a spotlight on individuals who have faced the challenges of alcoholism and addiction and are today living out their best lives sober. Each guest has experienced incredible transformation and are here to share their story with you. I'm Jessica Stepanovich, your host. Join me each week as guests from all walks of life share their stories to inspire and provide hope to those who need it most. Welcome to another episode of the Sober Living Stories podcast.

Speaker 1:

Meet Veronica Barragan. She's a holistic therapist, wellness and spiritual counselor. She has traveled throughout the world studying different healing modalities and spiritual traditions, and she's been on a personal quest for healing from repeating generational patterns of her own family. Throughout that, she was able to heal her marriage of 26 years, her relationship with her mother and an addiction to alcohol. She has changed her life and her professional trajectory to help other women do the same, and she's here today to share her personal story and to just share where she can bring these women to a place of healing. I'm so happy to have you on the show. Welcome, Veronica, oh my gosh.

Speaker 2:

Thank you so much for having me and thank you for this incredible platform for others to share the story of dealing as well.

Speaker 1:

I said you know, the story is yours. Um, just go as far back as you would like to take people from where you were then until where you are now sure.

Speaker 2:

So I grew up in a traditional catholic household. I actually was born in mexico, brought to the United States of America as a very young child, as an immigrant child. My parents would work in the United States and there were times where I would stay with my grandmother for long periods three to six months because mom really didn't trust anyone out here in the United States to take care of me. But I really became full-time in the United States and started going to school in kindergarten, did all that thing. My mom was someone who really struggled a lot with her depression. She had a broken relationship with her mother and that really led on to the relationship her and I had. Of course she was very, very caring, very strict, always wanted to make sure I was home, but there was no really nurturing love, feminine energy. So growing up, you know, always wanted to make sure I was home, but there was no really nurturing love, feminine energy. So growing up, you know, I just did the best I could. I was always overachieving, very smart, you know, always getting the best grades, but really just doing it to get the attention of my parents, who really were not there emotionally. They were loving and protective, like I said, but not nurturing, because that's not what they were taught so fast forward to.

Speaker 2:

I was 17 and pregnant actually, and ended up marrying my husband at 17 years old. We were married now for 26 years, so my life was just very, very fast. I had to learn to become an adult very quickly. We took responsibility and accountability immediately. We moved out of our parents' house. We had our own place at a very young age. We wanted to raise our son in the best way possible when I was in my mid-20s, that's when alcohol started coming into my life, and a lot of the reasons why now I know that alcohol was a big part of my life was because I was running away and numbing from a childhood where I really felt like I was not seen when, a childhood where there was a lot of lack of love and nurturing or comprehension, I would say because there was a lot of that and also just a situation where I didn't really know who I was. I felt lost, I felt confused and within the years it started to become a daily habit. It was the way I would profit the stress of work. I was always an overachiever, so even during that time I was going to school, I was a full-time mom, I was running a separate side hustle. It was just the way that I dealt with my emotions.

Speaker 2:

It got really, really bad when I started in the world of real estate. I was a real estate broker, looked like a complete success from the outside because not only was I running my own company with my husband at a very young age, but I was involved in leadership. I was involved in a local national boards of directors. Starting non-profits, had the material success, the children. Everything looked perfect on the outside and what people didn't understand was that I was dying inside.

Speaker 2:

I was managing the stress of growth, of marriage, of business, entrepreneurship with alcohol and I would basically come home every day and was a very high functioning alcoholic and just made sure that I had my bottle of wine. And I also was very, very uh, I'm not comfortable around um, like in societal settings. I was always kind of like I need to drink in order to feel comfortable, in order to be able to fit in. So it just became like my daily patterns and my daily life until one day I just decided you know what, this is not the way I want to live. I was really, really hurting emotionally. My marriage was in a lot of trouble during that time. I had a lot of power in the business world, so I really do believe that I was abusing that power. So I really do believe that I was abusing that power. I was really just very egotistical and blaming everyone outside of me for my circumstances, not realizing that the common denominator was myself. So that's what led me to my healing journey. Does that resonate?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it sure does, of course. Yeah, it sure does. Okay, of course, like I, you know, it doesn't surprise me that a lot of guests who come on here like high achievers you know whether it's academically and leadership, because they're actually sitting on a podcast like talking about it, and but what comes with that often is like some coping mechanisms that we acquire some relaxational skills that are not helpful to matriculate and you know, and that can cause trouble. And so I love how you talked about um. You're coming from your home. You didn't feel like you were seen Um, and you use the word comprehensive, I think comprehend it.

Speaker 1:

Anyway, it wasn't. It wasn't a negative. It wasn't a negative word about your family. It was just something that you didn't feel like you were seeing and there was kind of an emotional because they were kind of tough love. But I think a lot of people grow up like that, you know, and parents parent as they know how to parent, from being parented themselves, you know, and so you breaking through that is really interesting and I'd love to hear more. So take us to, like, when you were in your marriage and being a mom and being a leader in the community, what were some things that you were doing that kind of was a telltale sign that you were using alcohol as a coping mechanism or something like that. Was it like obvious to you, or is that one in many other things that you were doing?

Speaker 2:

To me it was obvious not to the world, though, to me. I I fooled myself for many years and just thought I can handle this, I can manage this. But it became obvious when it was a daily habit, when it literally was something that I mean I wasn't drinking in the morning time or anything like that, but it was just I would get home and I had to have alcohol. If I was around other people, I had to have alcohol. And the other part of it also was that I didn't know how to measure myself Like, sometimes, once I, when it got really bad, I couldn't stop. Like once I would start drinking, I had to get to the point of just complete, like I'm going to pass out and go to sleep because you have to like finish it out, Exactly Because I just really was running away from so much pain.

Speaker 2:

And that's when a lot of knowledge and wisdom had started to come to me about generational healing. I started to, instead of look at my mother as an enemy, I started to read a lot of books and understand that she was acting, like you said, out of her own programming and her own way of being raised, and I particularly gravitated especially towards generational healing because I saw the same patterns that were being played out in her life with my grandmother and also just alcoholism in general. In my family we have a lot of problems with alcoholism and typically it is the males. But as I started to grow up, you know more and more. I wouldn't say that we have more women alcoholics in our family, but they used alcohol a lot more. It kind of just became like a normal thing that you would go to parties or you would go to family events and the people would be drinking. So I knew myself that I had a problem, that I had to quit. I just don't think anyone outside of me knew, except for my mother my mother, my biggest enemy, because she would always, always basically talk bad about it and the reason she would talk bad about it was because, deep down, I felt so guilty. But because I felt so guilty about it, I projected that energy out and she latched onto it and that's I know. She did a lot of prayer for me and I really do believe that that was a big part of the healing journey, really do believe that that was a big part of the healing journey.

Speaker 2:

But, by the same token, it was one day when I finally decided you know what I have to really address it Now. I had tried Alcoholics Anonymous a couple of times and it did not resonate at all Like the minute that I got on there, because I had already been on a spiritual journey. I started traveling the world like 2008, really seeking holistic modalities to heal myself, and I studied a lot of the different spiritual traditions to really understand the world and understand myself. I knew that addiction at that point in 2008, that it was a spiritual problem and when I started to really understand that, I developed more and more compassion for myself, so that when that moment came where something just turned on in me and said it's time for you to really heal, and when I made that decision, it's like all the right people, all the right teachers showed up and that's when I started to really begin the healing journey, which was not why the addiction, it was why the pain. That's when I started all the pain.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, it makes a lot of sense. It makes a lot of sense. And you had talked about drinking behind closed doors and the outside. Okay, so I know you had a thriving, you know 15 year business with real estate. But when I'm looking at you now like it's like, yes, this that you know, I know that you're heading in the correct direction, like as a holistic therapist and a wellness counselor, because it's just you have that complete aura around you and like that, that peace, and you just it's. It's just really incredible.

Speaker 1:

I too, we kind of have a flip. I resonated with a 12 step recovery program and before I got there I had done a lot of traveling and I had tried out every spiritual modality that I could think of trying to heal what was wrong with me. But for me it took a 12-step because it was kind of simpler process for me and that's where I kind of got into myself, realized where I was the problem and what I could change, and I changed my life and now we're free to live it out the way that we want to, and for you that did not resonate and your spiritual journey began and continued and that's where you found your healing and it's individualistic for everyone. So take us through, like the different healing modalities or spiritual traditions, the travels that you went. You traveled, you know the places that you went to, that taught you things and got you on the path you are today.

Speaker 2:

Sure. So in 2015, I had reached a tipping point in my career. I was at the top of my game completely, but by the same token, I was going through a severe burnout. So my nervous system was completely not regulated Brain. Everything was happening at the same time, and this is happening more and more now to women, but combined with an addiction. It was very, very difficult. So that's when I first thought out Alcoholics Anonymous which the reason it didn't resonate with me was because of the fact that you have to keep affirming that you're an alcoholic I was like why would I want to keep affirming that if that's not what I am? So I left very quickly from there and, sure enough, within days, my son, who is, I concerned to be such an old soul. I feel that our children choose us and they teach us more than we imagine. He was only 15 years old. He did a huge presentation for his high school on psychedelic-assisted psychotherapy, and he did this presentation on the teachings of indigenous tribes, like the people from the Amazon jungle who used plant medicine, like mother ayahuasca, san Pedro, all these different um plants that are psychedelic to heal the spiritually someone. And when he did that presentation he received an incredible grade. His teacher even called me and said when incredible soul he was and all these different things Right. And that's when I started to explore, um, psychedelic psychotherapy and it's like when it's meant for you. It's meant for you Because when I started to do my research, the right people came. I met this beautiful woman who was working with an amazing shaman in Peru Very, very grounded, very long legacy of this type of work. I did all the research. By then we already had a lot of research on psychedelic assisted psychotherapy, but it was just not in the mainstream media. But we have a gentleman by the name of Rick Doblin who started the Multidisciplinary Association of Psychedelic Studies in the 80s and he's been working with psychedelic assisted medicine and now it's at the FDA for final approval Now for mental health therapy, especially for veterans and people that have severe post-traumatic stress disorder. And so thankfully his organization was running.

Speaker 2:

I did my research and within weeks I'm not kidding you I was on a plane and it wasn't just me with my entire family. I took my husband myself and my two children to the Amazon jungle my husband myself and my two children to the Amazon jungle and we worked. My husband myself and my oldest worked with plant medicine. My youngest basically came with us to join us in the journey. He did receive his own ceremonial piece of it all, because the shaman actually had worked with children as well, but we basically took a 17 day journey to spend time in the Amazon jungle detoxing our body, working with Mother Ayahuasca, working with San Pedro.

Speaker 2:

So that was pivotal. That was absolutely life changing in my life. It was like the surgery of my soul, where I received awareness of how, why the pain and why this was a little literally embedded genetic code within the DNA of my ancestors and my lineage and why I was born to disrupt and break that pattern and why alcoholism had served me actually for so long. Instead of seeing it as something treacherous and something to be ashamed of, I began to really understand it as a pivotal part of my life that led me to the work that I'm doing today. So you would think that at the Amazon jungle, you know I would come back and I was completely healed when I came back from the jungle back into my life. But that was not. That was just the beginning of my healing journey, because I couldn't integrate everything that had happened out there. In fact, when I came back.

Speaker 2:

I'm an extrovert. I can, I can talk to people, I can be around people. I was always around people, but I couldn't even be around people. I was. It was like a psychic shock. It was very, very um, I felt so sensitive and I still came back from the jungle and I still kept drinking alcohol because I didn't know how to deal with everything that was happening.

Speaker 2:

And, sure enough, I really did have a come to Jesus moment where I remember the day that I prayed and I said why am I back in the same situation that I went to kill from you know, know, from you know? And that's when somebody said to me you need to go try kundalini yoga, because it looks like your um, your energy, your emotions, you're not grounded in your body. And I said yoga, you know, in the past I had tried different types of yoga. Then they had helped me a lot, you know. They'd help me cleanse and purge, but not heal, you know. So I was like what is yoga gonna do for me? So I I tried it because I was so. I was like what is Kundalini Yoga going to do for me? So I tried it because I was desperate and I went into my first Kundalini Yoga class a couple of months right after the Amazon Jungle experience.

Speaker 2:

I was the only one in this class. It was a small ashram. There was a guy in the front with a long beard wearing a turban, which I had never seen before, and I'm like, in this class I was so embarrassed to leave because I wanted to leave, but I was so embarrassed because he was gonna watch me leave the room and I said, well, I'm just gonna take you know? And you stayed, did you stay? And it was absolutely life-changing, my first class ever. The, the breathing, the ways that we were chanting. It was like I was back in the Amazon jungle in that same aloka sitting with that shaman.

Speaker 2:

It was like all the puzzle pieces started to come together and within weeks, my nerve I didn't know what was happening but my nervous system started to become so regulated. But my nervous system started to become so regulated my brain agility, the way I was purging emotions that it was probably only a couple of weeks that I ended up saying no more alcohol. And since I made that, started to keep my practice. Now I'm going to be about five years completely alcohol free. Never have a crazy, never have a desire to ever go back to it, and of course, a lot of that has to do with the fact that not only do I have a consistent daily practice which keeps my nervous system regulated a bit, this is, you know, emotional pain causes incredible damage. Trauma causes incredible damage to our nervous system, to our brain scientifically proven damage to our nervous system, to our brain scientifically proven. So the science of yoga meditation is basically that it regulates the nervous system. It brings cognitive function to your brain.

Speaker 2:

One of the things that I learned very quickly is that addiction is the miscommunication between the pineal gland and the pituitary gland in your brain. And when you have emotional trauma, physical trauma, sexual trauma, anything like that, the brain literally starts to deteriorate and it looks like if we were to scan a brain of someone who's been through trauma. The brain looks like a spoon. It's not red, it's not white, it's literally like dried up. And two biggest factors here. And this is where the science of Kundalini yoga is very advanced. Thank God that we have as a therapist now we have symposiums with some of the best teachers from Harvard, ucla, we do clinical studies on this practice now that we have a lot of evidence on how it actually works.

Speaker 2:

But the pituitary gland and the pineal gland don't communicate because of the emotional trauma, the thoughts, feelings and emotions that you have due to neglect. You know, I found out that, even being left with my grandma for three months, apart from my mom as a young child, I needed mom. I didn't know that she didn't love me. I just thought I was unlovable as a young child. That caused the detachment issues and all these different things as a baby growing up.

Speaker 2:

Well, I figured out, you know, if I could get my pituitary gland and my pineal gland to start to communicate again, then I would be able to basically heal the addiction, which is what started to happen. There is a specific Kundalini Yoga meditation that is specifically for addiction, that has been studied. That actually gets these two glands to actually start to communicate. So I understood scientifically, I understood spiritually why I didn't need alcohol and why I dealt with the actual pain, why I also dealt with the structure of my brain that was causing the addiction to happen. So it was life changing and within months I decided I would become a teacher. I finished my program as a teacher after a year and then, as soon as I graduated, I began my journey to become a yoga therapist, which is where I'm at.

Speaker 1:

Wow, that's great. A yoga therapist, which is where I'm at Wow, that's great. Yeah, it's so interesting to me to hear guests come on and talk about the different ways that they, you know, put alcohol down and healed themselves and and all those connections and just like you're talking about, and you know, the leadership that you experienced back then when you were doing something that didn't, that, wasn't spiritual in nature, but was very professional, you know, all those leadership, academics. They play into this whole whole of your professional experience now, which is which is really important for, for people who question anything you know, and this is really great. So what are you doing now to and who do you work with specifically as far as women like, who do you work with specifically that you can help? I know you had mentioned four areas. What are those four areas?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and they're so intertwined and together and these are the four areas that I myself had to heal from. So when I so when I was in the jungle, I received information about DNA and generational trauma and ancestral healing. So when I came back from the jungle, that's when my healing journey began and I started to do the healing with Kundalini Yoga. It was addiction that quickly healed the relationship with my mother, which, at the core of all addiction, we all get to be very conscious. A lot of us think a mother wound is just somebody who abused us, who did these things. A mother wound is growing up with a mother who was depressed and who was not able to attune and regulate her nervous system with you, because that is needed as a child. So a lot of us have gone through trauma and we don't realize that we carry these wounds which then cause us to go into these addictive behaviors, whether it's alcohol, shopping or drugs or all these other things. Right, the other thing was depression, and depression is the suppression of emotions, and that's really what it is, and the way I was suppressing my emotions was through the alcohol, which then causes the depression within the body and spirit. And last is toxic relationship patterns. So you see they're all intertwined the childhood neglect with the depression, with the toxic relationship problems with the addiction, and those are the form generational patterns that I was able to disrupt in my life that now I help women also disrupt in their life. Now I help women also disrupt in their life and it's a process of the Kundalini yoga meditation therapy which helps us in the somatic way we relieve these memories, traumatic memories, from the body, we bring cognitive functioning back to the brain and we bring regulation to the nervous system.

Speaker 2:

But I also work here in the spiritual realm. I've been a student and a teacher of A Course in Miracles Spiritual Psychotherapy since 2008, and I've been teaching it for five years. So a big part of the work that I did spiritually was actually the work of forgiveness, believe it or not. So when women come to me and we have an academy, a group coaching program, what we do is we take both the scientific approach to heal the nervous system in the brain, but we also take the spiritual approach and a lot of the work that we do is the work of forgiveness, because a lot of forgiveness is very much needed, especially if you've been under addictive spirals and you would think you want to forgive yourself. Well, you first have to forgive the people around you, because you cannot forgive yourself if you don't do that shadow work of forgiving those that you believe hurt you.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I agree with you 100%. You know forgiveness of others first and then you're able to forgive yourself. And forgiving myself was one of the most pivotal and profound moments I've ever in my life and brought me to my faith today. And I was wanting that for so many years and just didn't know how to do it, but eventually got there. So for you, helping women do that it's such an important thing to do, to move forward. But so I think, looking at it positively not that it was this detrimental thing that ruined your life, but as it was this jumping off point where you could look at and begin to heal what was really underneath that, because it's really not about the actual alcohol, it's about the pain that you were trying to drown underneath that or the emotional troubles behind that. A lot of people know that that have come out of that, so you're doing that. So what are the ways in which you meet up and help with women? Are they retreats? Is it one-on-one coaching, because people will be interested.

Speaker 2:

Sure. So we actually created a group coaching academy. So I have two. One is a membership where you start your healing journey. So if you're someone who's never done any type of holistic healing work, any type of generational healing, what I find to be the biggest problem is that there isn't. You don't have enough vitality and energy because your emotions are, because you're typically suppressing them, especially through addiction. There is no energy to leave, to go above beyond the patterns of thinking, of doing. There's no energy to actually deal with the deep healing work of generational healing.

Speaker 2:

What I like to do is I always work with women and, depending on where they're at in their healing journey, they'll start with me in the membership community and that's where they get introduced to. Basically, and it's all virtual they get introduced to three classes a week where they get introduced to the healing journey, to the spiritual psychotherapy. They really set a really strong foundation. They start to increase their energy levels naturally and holistically, and then, when they're ready and some are ready already because they've already done healing work, shadow work, holistic work they go straight into my group coaching academy. Now my group coaching academy. That's where we do the real generational healing work and it's a virtual setting. We have daily fat, not practice, but we have a daily meditation space where they're welcome to join me. I have a daily meditation practice. I wake up every day at 3 45 AM. I am there till six 30 in the morning.

Speaker 1:

I offer intuitive guidance and and daily, and I never was a morning person okay, I was never a morning person it's amazing, I don't know there's not many people waking up at 3 45 am to do a meditation practice there's only a few women that will join me that early.

Speaker 1:

Most of them, yeah, no, but I mean, if you're dedicated to this and you think it's, I think it's incredible that you offer it, because you're offering it to two types of people to people who are interested in that, where the other the other ways of healing, the other ways of breaking free from habits are not resonating with them. They have an interest in this, but they don't really know about it. So you're welcoming them into the membership and then, for people who are practiced in this and do have a handle on what all of this is, they can go right to your coaching and advance their practice.

Speaker 2:

Correct. That is it. And as a therapist as a holistic therapist I have to make sure that I'm in good health. I have to make sure my biggest job is to have a regulated nervous system, because if I'm coaching you, whether it's in person or virtually, our nervous systems aren't going to attune. So the only the best way that I can help others is by making sure that I have my own strong practice. I got to walk the talk, right. Right, you got to walk the talk, you are you completely are.

Speaker 1:

It's really it's really interesting to me. Yeah, absolutely, and I think that the four areas that you spoke about are intertwined addiction, childhood neglect, depression and toxic relationships. I don't think there's not one person listening that hasn't touched on one of those or had them as part of their life, whether they have problems with alcoholism or not. So healing is for everyone. It's not solely specific for people who suffer from alcoholism or addiction, and it could always benefit and bring you to a better version of yourself and to make your life progress into what it's supposed to be. So your offerings are really profound. I love that you do it's supposed to be. So your offerings are really. They're really profound. I love that you do it on a daily basis so people can join you. Where can people find you during the week if they want to learn more? Sure.

Speaker 2:

So two best places, I would say YouTube. I have a lot of teachings there. They want to start their own meditation practice. Lots of free meditation. You can find me on Veronica Barragan on YouTube or on Instagram Instagram. I post a ton of information on your nervous system, your brain and generational healing, and that's at Veronica Barragan.

Speaker 1:

That's wonderful. So you spell that Veronica Barragan, B-A-R-R-A-G-A-N, and I'm going to put that information in the show notes so listeners can connect with you. I really love your perspective on everything that you spoke about. The spirituality is so very important and those that are interested in this type of spirituality or learning practices can reach out to you. So thank you so much for being on the show. I really loved everything you talked about today out to you. So thank you so much for being on the show. I really I loved everything you talked about today.

Speaker 2:

Thank you, it's been an honor, and may you be blessed and continue to do this holy work. The world needs it.

Speaker 1:

Thank you so much. Thank you for tuning into the Sober Living Stories podcast. If you have been inspired, consider subscribing and sharing with anyone who could use hope in their lives. Remember to stay tuned for more inspiring stories in the episodes to come. To view our featured author of the month or to become a guest yourself, visit wwwjessicastephanoviccom.