Sober Living Stories
Welcome to the "Sober Living Stories" podcast, a platform built on the power of personal stories. Each Tuesday, Jessica Stipanovic, your host, shines a spotlight on individuals who have undergone remarkable life transformations to inspire hope in listeners worldwide.
Each guest shares their story giving examples of bold beginnings disguised as endings and life lessons that teach how the darkest moments often hold the key to unlocking the brightest light.
This podcast inspires positive life changes. Whether you're sober curious, living an alcohol-free lifestyle, have overcome a challenge and lived to tell about it, or support someone who wants to shed a habit in light of a new one, our episodes promise to leave you feeling understood, hopeful, and motivated to create meaningful transformations in your life.
Join us for powerful new episodes every Tuesday where the most difficult life experiences serve to uplift and inspire. Regardless of your background or belief system, the "Sober Living Stories" podcast is your ultimate destination for uplifting narratives where hope shines from the most unexpected places.
In addition to featuring our weekly guests, each month on the "Sober Living Stories" podcast, we have the privilege of sitting down with a new author, delving into their story and the wisdom they've shared in their book.
Here's the exciting part: their book becomes the giveaway for that month.
Tune in every Tuesday for brand-new episodes and your chance to win the gift of a transformed life.
Sober Living Stories
Faith, Forgiveness & Freedom: Doug’s Mission to Help Men Conquer Addiction
Imagine finding redemption at your lowest point—Doug Sweeney did just that. After a journey marked by addiction and run-ins with the law, Doug discovered a life-transforming faith that reshaped his entire existence. On this episode of Sober Living Stories, he opens up about his path from the depths of addiction to becoming a powerful example of hope for other men grappling with similar struggles. Doug's experience is a testament to the power of faith and community in overcoming life's darkest moments.
Forgiveness plays a pivotal role in Doug's story, offering profound lessons on the importance of deep-rooted humility grounded in faith. As we explore these themes, reflections on the Beatitudes and spiritual beliefs unveil how forgiving others—not because they deserve it, but because it liberates us—can lead to healing and renewal. This transformative journey is not just about overcoming addiction; it’s about turning life's greatest challenges into opportunities for a new life.
Throughout the conversation, we highlight the critical role of supportive communities in the recovery journey. Doug shares insights on breaking free from cycles of shame and self-destruction, illustrating how living in the present and practicing gratitude can lead to a fulfilling life. His dedication to helping others find purpose and freedom in sobriety inspires anyone facing their battles. Join us as we talk through Doug's life experience and learn how to heal from the inside out.
Doug's sole intention is to lead men who are exhausted from defeat on their own effort out of substance addiction, towards a new and real transformation that enables one to reclaim control in their life.
If you are ready to pursue a path of true change without fear of loss, Doug is here to guide and support you. Reach out to Doug Sweeney by email, and he’ll send you a link to connect via Zoom:
Email: breakingbondagefromaddiction@gmail.com
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Your story matters.
I would love this to become so profound that the alcohol market will take a brunt hit. I would love that. I would love the bars to close up because of this. But I really want, I want. I want a revival of peace, and freedom for men to have from addiction.
Speaker 2:Welcome to the Sober Living Stories podcast from addiction today, living out their best lives sober. Each guest has experienced incredible transformation and are here to share their story with you. I'm Jessica Stepanovic, your host. Join me each week as guests from all walks of life share their stories to inspire and provide. Going to meet Doug Sweeney. He's going to share his redemption story about how he overcame alcohols and drugs at a young age. Join us as Doug reveals how his faith became the cornerstone of his recovery, guiding him to a life of purpose and hope. He's going to also share how his mission is to help men do the same. Welcome, doug. Welcome to the show.
Speaker 1:Good morning, jessica, and thank you for hosting me today. I'm eternally grateful because it is the groundwork in which I wish to succeed in to also help men who I used to be for many years. Addiction for me. I'm not going to pretend to be someone different than any other addict, but uh, I had. I had pain, I had shame and I had many other um things to medicate and and feel normal by.
Speaker 1:And it started very young. You know. There was a lot of, a lot of abuse, emotional, physical, um things I regretted growing up and so I just took of what I saw. I saw alcohol and alcohol is what I started with and I even started alone. I didn't even, I didn't even start socially. I started alone because I hid it and from even right then, in the very beginning, I only escalated. I planned on the next opportunity and drank more and planned more and more for the next thing until I started working and then I saved money for it and it just it was a quick downward spiral in my life.
Speaker 1:Alcohol led to drugs, drugs led to harder drugs and eventually other addictions came in. You know, by the way of life and the choices that we make practically in life, with promiscuity and many things. And it was just addiction after addiction after addiction, until I came to a point of a broken heart and many people hear the term rock bottom many times. But my rock bottoms never stopped. They just got lower and deeper and further bottom. Nothing stopped it. The only thing that was going to stop it was jails, institution and death. And jails and institution became prominent in my life as a young child.
Speaker 1:I was 18 years old committing my first felonies. I was in and out of the county jail. I was in JDC before I turned 18. I had already had five DUIs before. I was even old enough to drink at age 21. Was even old enough to drink at age 21. I had so many things and this is where addiction took me and sometimes people other people don't hit that many rock bottoms and they can sustain it a little bit better.
Speaker 1:But what happened for me was purposeful, as I look back in all of my years of being clear-headed and sober, that those times were times of grace that I was given to change or to make a better decision. And many times I didn't. Many times I didn't because I just figured that I knew people who drank and did drugs and never went to jail and never went to the hospital and never went to rehab and they were living functionally. Why couldn't I do this? And I was so adamant in life to figure out how to do this, and every time I became more adamant to try to figure it out. I again would need my stomach pumped, or I again was going before the same judge to get the same sentence for the same crime, or I again was scaring my mom, waking up in a hospital from an accident or from alcohol poisoning or something. From an accident or from alcohol poisoning or something. It was the same things and getting the same results the actual definition of insanity. And that's where addiction led me. And I came to a broken heart because of how far my decision to remain addicted took me to. It actually broke my heart to a point that I didn't think I could be forgiven.
Speaker 1:In my life I've always had a God conscience, but I had a God conscience that God was condemning God Until I had everything right. Condemning God Until I had everything right. I was just going to hell. But that's not what the God who created us, nor desires us to yield ourselves to, is like. That's not him at all. We read in John 3.16,. For God so loved the world that if you believe in his son, that you shall not perish but have eternal life. But the very verse after that for Christ did not come into the world to condemn the world, but that the world, through him, might be saved Through him. All we have to do is come to him and live within him by faith and through him and all of his resources, and then he can make us new. 2 Corinthians 5, verse 17, that we become a new creation in him, and that's all that we have ever needed. That's all that I've ever needed in order to find the freedom.
Speaker 1:You know, I went into the secular treatment very young. I was 17 years old and they put me in an adult inpatient rehab because of my use. Nobody had ever seen me use that much, seen a 17 year old use as much as I did. In my little country county that I'm from, nobody saw people get two DUIs within a month and a half or have alcohol poisoning or get expelled from school because of repeated drinking at school or anything like that. So they put me in an inpatient rehab with adults, adults from their early 20s all the way up into the early 60s. And here I am 17. And I and I and I'm first being delivered this program idea, this, this 12 step program idea from Bill W back in 1935 or so, and something about it. It had a lot of core moral principles to the program.
Speaker 1:But even at age 17, I knew something about. Calling my addiction a disease, was just not right in my heart. I didn't receive that to be correct, truly correct, because I see now in my walk with God that we have taken scripture and reworded some of the things that God called what he called it. He called it a drunkard, he didn't call it an alcoholism. We put ism on the back of so many words and just redefined things.
Speaker 1:And what I've learned in my life and I'm not here to raise confrontation or debates, but what I've learned in my spiritual walk with God that he calls us to come closer and draw nigher every day that he gives us to breathe is that addiction in its essence is the first thing we think of is drugs or alcohol, and in many cases it is. But it relates to so many things. It relates to someone who needs a new pair of shoes every two weeks. It relates to someone who can't get off the game box, that has to invest three, four or five hours a day playing playstation or it. It can be anything, I'm just given random things everywhere. It can be addiction, and addiction and essentially is idolatry. Idolatry is anything or anyone that takes control of one's mind, will and affections, more than God himself.
Speaker 2:So true.
Speaker 1:And when I learned that, and we have hearts that are idol makers. That's what we are and that's why we're forever in the need of Christ's grace, because we are incarnate. Idol makers we are, and I don't know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, let's go. This is I really like what you're. I love everything you're saying. It's a different perspective than you know. I kind of got well in 12 step and but I also love Jesus, right, so I have so, and which I just learned later because it came to me and it happened. Something happened to me and it happened, something happened to me. I would have never thought that I would go in that direction, but it was something so profound that happened in my life that I knew for the rest of my life that was who I was serving. And so just to back up a little bit, the you know, when you talked about your younger years, like I, that, like I was almost in tears when you were crying, because that is how I resonated and related. When I heard stories like yours, because it was alone, it, it was pointed, it was, you know, it escalated, you could not stop it, like how do I, how are they doing that? You know, and you talked about for you, you know, I know for you it's the cornerstone is God.
Speaker 2:And so for people who and I love that you, your focus is solely on helping men, you know, because that's pointed. And so for for people who have walked your walk and who are in this situation that you came from walk and who are in the situation that you came from but that don't know how to find that freedom, like what is the. I remember being in a um, a dual addicted, um recovery home, but I was bringing in the hope. I was, I was not on the receiving end, but I was bringing in the hope. And I remember there was a line of girls on the leather couch, beat up leather couches that just got off the street, dual addicted. We went around the room we said how much time do you have?
Speaker 2:What was your drug of choice? They'd say two months crack cocaine. Six months alcohol, three months heroin. And I remember this one girl, she said, and we talked about God in that meeting and she said but how? I don't know how to pray, I don't know how to invite him into my life so that a change can be made, so can you speak to that Like I mean people that just have no concept.
Speaker 1:Yes, right, there is where I want to speak today. Right there, because Matthew, chapter 5, this is where Christ comes and he gives us the Beatitudes, the very first Beatitude, in verse 5, 5-5, I believe, chapter 5, verse 5. He said blessed are those who are poor in spirit. Wow, you just explained it right there. That's what that is. They're poor in spirit, right out the floodgates. The brokenhearted, the poor in spirit, the ones who don't know how to pray, the ones who are just like what do I do, what do I do? Blessed are those. That's right where he wants us, because that's right where we need him.
Speaker 1:That's exactly right there where he wants us, that's where he had me. That's why I finally let go. That's why I finally yielded. I don't say surrender, surrender. I'm a word buff. I'm very much a word buff and I get more of to be a word buff. I love the song Surrender All to Jesus. You know it's a beautiful song and all but truly surrender to me means to give in to an enemy or a foe or a war or something like that. For me it's yielding. This is where I had to yield to God when I realized what that meant.
Speaker 1:Blessed are the poor in spirit and the broken hearted. I mean that right there is the beginning. There's a reason why that's the first beatitude, because that's where it starts, right where that woman didn't know how to pray, right where they're questioning what do I do, what do I do? And that's where you got to be. When you're there, then you're able to receive, then you're able to absorb, then you're able to listen and not speak. Then and then, and then, and then he can, he can, and it's so. I mean you got it. You're going to fall. There's going to be many times we assert our will back in there, but if we can remember that point, that beginning point right there, that first, beatitude in five, five Matthew, five, five Blessing are the poor in spirit, and then he can show you Blessed are the poor in spirit, and then he can show you, then he can teach you, he I don't know how I communicate it in a way that he showed me forgiveness because it was just so I never, after all, that I had done and I'm not, I know I am not, you can't call me Charlie Manson, you can't call me some of the other people that we've heard of in life, but I'm no more innocent than he was at all and I've done a lot of things, a lot of disgusting, gross, um, despicable, hurtful things in my life.
Speaker 1:And I never dreamed that I was forgivable at the time, that, that I gave my life to him or that I, at the time that I gave my life to him or that I yielded my life to him, and he came and showed me forgiveness through someone who I torturously hurt. I mean, I hurt someone so bad and they forgave me and they did so by and through their integrity and their Christ walk. That exemplified God's forgiveness to me and it was so profound that and this has been over 20 years ago and it was so profound that I could not imagine that I was forgivable. And because of it happening in the way that it did, it was his answer to my unasked question about how I can was forgivable. And because of it happening in the way that it did, it was his answer to my unasked question about how I can be forgivable. And it was so heavy and so strong and so penetrating to me that I was about to face some years in prison. Finally and I've you know I'd already been in prison a couple times, but for less than a year minor crimes, drug abuse, possessions, things like that. But now I was facing some years and I didn't even care that I was facing some years. I just knew that I wanted to learn his word and walk with him in that close security penitentiary, no matter what, and walk with him in that closed security penitentiary, no matter what, and and because his forgiveness became so tangibly real to me that I I was in my heart, it was, there was a transformation that happened, and that transformative power and love and mercy of christ alone has to take place in its own way, and we do that when we yield. So I went and I followed my commitment and I woke up the next day and I still held to my promise. And the day after that I still held to my promise and within a month and a half he showed me. After he showed me his forgiveness within a month and a half to almost two months I can't get that time exact but between a month and a half and two months he showed me I had to forgive and his scripture tells us to forgive as ye have been forgiven.
Speaker 1:But it's not purely for text, it's not purely for words and verbs. It's meant for healing. I didn't have to forgive who I needed to forgive, because they deserve forgiveness. I did it because it freed me. It broke the bounds of captivity in my own life. It gave me all reason to suspend my excuse to continue to use and drink that liter of vodka or buy that eight ball cocaine or whatever. It gave me no more room to do those things when I forgave those who I needed to forgive, and he meant healing. He meant healing in that text. That verse is strictly about healing. It's not about doing something because it's been done for you To an extent it is, but it's purely meant for healing. He means healing in everything. Christ is our healer.
Speaker 2:You know, when you talked about, you said there was a transformation in your heart that happened, undeniably profound transformation in your heart, and that's exactly what happened to me. And you talk about forgiveness and that's exactly what happened. That day is I forgave myself and which I didn't think I would ever be able to do. And, and you know, I did learn in a 12 step program. I heard somebody say once I did learn in a 12 step program. I heard somebody say once he will take the worst thing that ever happened to you and turn it into the best thing that ever happened to you, the worst difficulty, the biggest challenge in your life.
Speaker 2:He will take it and turn it into the best thing that ever happened to you. And that's exactly what happened to me that day, the worst thing that ever happened to me or that I did when I was out there. He took that and turned it into the most profound thing that ever happened in my life, which is through that forgiveness, the power of forgiveness. That day changed everything To this day. This is like 14 years later, because it happened in my. No, it's actually 15, 16 years later and I could still tell you that in my, my entire life, that was the most profound thing that ever happened to me when he came into my heart and transformed it.
Speaker 2:And so you know it's. It speaks to well, the power of forgiveness and and I remember also being like how am I going to do that? You know years earlier, like how do I forgive, um, how do how am I forgiven and how do I forgive others? That was a real complexity to me, like I did not know.
Speaker 2:And so, yeah, you speaking to that is, and I could feel, feel when you're talking like it's, it's, it's so much and well, it's a gift. You know it's a gift and it's a true healing. It's a true healing and, um, you know, you think, coming in, people are on the ground. You know they're, they're broken, they're, they're filled with shame, they're filled with shame, they're filled with guilt um their, their, um difficulties pile up um their confidence is on the ground, you know why, would this be for me.
Speaker 2:You know right, why would this be for me. So can you speak to that a little bit like?
Speaker 1:so when the god of the universe, when the god of the universe comes and and spiritually opens your eyes to his forgiveness, to what he's done. And you know, we have to gather around like-minded believers, we have to gather around a church, a fellowship, and forsake not the assembly of the congregation you know what I mean and encouraging each other all the more as you see the day drawing near and that's pretty clear in our day now. I mean we see the day drawing near to more chaos all the time. So we need each other. Iron sharpens iron, and so I, you know, in Psalm 139, david's telling God you know, search me, oh God, know my thoughts, know my ways, you know, teach me my characteristics, teach me the old patterns of my life. Show me these things, because if you show me these things, then I can have a substance to work on, take a new direction or a new path, and our ways of living and the way that we process an idea or a judgment on someone or something that we just become so familiar and so it's so part of us, and these things need renewed. And so I think a prayer, you know, in a prayer life, an edifying prayer life, then we should pray this Psalm back to God and, you know, search me, oh God, and know my thoughts and show me my process. It's the way I do things and he will Do. I will he ever. I mean, he is a God that wants us to be in that position, that heart posture, it's all about a heart posture and this moves right along to, you know, romans 12, 1 and 2, where Paul, you know, says you know, I urge you, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living and holy sacrifice, which is your spiritual service of worship, and do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by renewing your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good, acceptable and perfect. And when we do these things, this is how we learn who we were and we see what God wants in us. And then you think he's not providing the new path, the new direction, the new repentance, the new sanctification, ie the separation of our old ways. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:I just love telling you. I love telling you this because it has been so real it doesn't get any more any dollar than it did, you know, 20 years ago. It just doesn't get any more any dollar than it did, you know, 20 years ago. It just doesn't, and I never used to be able to talk like this. I never used to be I. All I ever did was cower my head down. Please don't see that I haven't had no sleep. Please don't see that my eyes are red and that I'm ashamed of something that I don't even remember that I did. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:How many times have we woken up and like what happened last night? How did last night end? Or what lie do I got to remember that I told so I can carry on the next slide to sustain that old lie. And that's what addiction did, does and did for me. That's all it ever did. I lived in a rat race of tunnel, tunnel life I was.
Speaker 2:I didn't know one way from the other yeah yeah and yeah, and I think too that life is very closed and you started the recording with you chose to do alone, you hid it and we talk about the hidden from closed door to a door that's wide open. It's complete freedom. That's wide open, it's complete freedom and you being able to share too. I think for other men, sharing your heart like this, that's a process, because I know for myself.
Speaker 2:For 18 years I didn't speak openly about any of this. It wasn't until the 18th year that I made a decision to not do that and it was so hard. It was so hard that first time I spoke out loud about it I felt like, oh, what did I do? And people are going to run away and the people who knew me may not think that I'm as authentic as I presented myself, because they didn't know this about me and none of that happened. None of that happened. People came closer to me and the shame and all the guilt of what happened it was irrelevant because of who I am now, because it's real.
Speaker 2:But it was a process and it was difficult. But I commend people who come in open spaces and speak. I commend people who come in open spaces and speak like bravely, about things like their, their past, to see the contrast of who people can be, because it's um, yeah, it's difficult to talk about, but when I saw other people do it and it was especially online, cause that's where I was seeing it there seemed to be like this influx of people talking about it and then opening up communities where other people, like-minded people, can come in and find healing too.
Speaker 2:And that was very inspiring to me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it is so for men that are listening.
Speaker 2:What is your hope for them?
Speaker 1:My hope for men and I wouldn't really want to. It's my objective or it's my direction to really help men Primarily, at least in the beginning, if not forever. It's because I and men you know by what God's Word says are to be the leaders and are to be, you know, the bridegroom of the family, the father, the hope to be you'll learn from in the illustration they lead with. And I know statistics and because I know them, because I've been a part of them. And 80 plus percent of prison population are carried by men, are filled by men, and 85 plus percent of the reason is because of addiction or something to do with drugs, something to do with chemical use. And that's just the raw facts of this country. And they call it DRC. In actuality, yes, it all has some that many. 80 plus percent, 85 percent is drug and alcohol-related crimes, and it's also a recidivism rate that is just astronomical. It used to be 67%, I think it's even went up past 70 now. And so true DRC, which they call Department of Rehabilitation and Correction. If it was true in its essence, then it would go down, but it doesn't go down. And it doesn't go down because it's human warehousing and I'm not here to condemn penitentiaries and prisons and stuff, but I'm here to tell you that real recovery is with our maker, real redemption is with our maker, and our maker is one God in the Trinity. And I want to show, I want to lead, I want to walk with. Want to show, I want to lead, I want to walk with. I have exhausted myself to relive a lot of my past to come up with the curriculum that I've come up with. And I think we have to identify our bondages.
Speaker 1:You know, my bondages were shame, regret, pain, zero confidence. No matter how hard I tried, zero confidence. No matter how hard I tried, I was put down, I was demeaned. I didn't have nothing, I had no value. So all I did was live self-destructively. I lived crazy self-destructively. I drank a mouse that no one should have lived through or should have at least not had some kind of wet brain or something, some kind of neurological problems or something. I mean, I, the way I used, was just unheard of, and that was because I I didn't believe in my worth. I didn't. I didn't care about my worth because I didn't believe in it. Believe in my worth. I didn't care about my worth because I didn't believe in it.
Speaker 1:And so I think, identifying these bondages. You know, my bondages existed before I even took the first drink. My bondages existed before I ever smoked or used my first drug. And I had, but I didn't know that. And so I want to go all the way back to the beginning and identify those.
Speaker 1:And then I also want to say as clearly as I can in every rehab, in every county jail, in every penitentiary that I've ever been in, in any hospital that I've ever been in, I have known thousands upon thousands and I have been in the presence of thousands upon thousands of addicts in my life, in all the states that I've lived in, in all the cities that I've lived in, and I have never met one that didn't harbor some type of unforgiveness or some type of or some type of unforgiveness or some type of raging animosity against somebody.
Speaker 1:And it is absolutely essential that we come to grips with this, identify it and work through the process of proacting it with heart and truth. And that's where rural freedom comes. And these are two key elements that I want to work with with men, and this is why I really want to work with with men. I think addiction also can be personal as far as gender related, and I don't, and that is one reason why I don't really want to affiliate with the opposite sex at the at the time, anyway, until until I have more more of a team, more of a a help. But I, that's, that's my main objective, for why I want to work with men and that's yeah, for why I want to work with men and, um, that's.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:There's there's.
Speaker 2:there was a video I saw once Um, I was mostly on the California prison system and I'm I'm going to find it and send it to you, because there was a man in particular I forget his name, but I'm going to find it out for you that went through the different, just what you were talking about the statistics of drug-related crimes and the population in prison and when I you know, we've experienced like a different life, right.
Speaker 2:And so the majority of the prisoners were in there, for, you know, they, they you got to think like they would not have committed those crimes if they were not addicted, right? So if you fix the addiction you, you fix a lot. A large population of of the statistics go down right. It's just a huge correlation, but anyway, it was. It was incredible. And I interviewed Jojo Godinez and he was I don't know if you saw that podcast, but he has trapped families and so he came on and he was in and he actually got a life sentence and he was released early and he's now changing men's lives and women's lives and because he had that transformation happen to him and you know so, it's so possible for every single person to experience that, and when you talk about your curriculum going right to the very beginning, it's so important and so helpful, and to identify those, those bondages, as you call them.
Speaker 2:And so that they can, in turn, eventually be relieved of them and get to who they are. And it's just so freeing and there's so much hope and possibility there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it shows you why you had the character that you had and how you can begin to have a new character. It doesn't happen instantly. I'm still working on my character. There's still many things that I wish that I didn't say the way I said or do the way I do. And you know, the flesh is strong, the carnal nature is strong, but the power of God is stronger and it's about our heart and our spirit yielding to that. But it's so good to learn. It's painful and it hurts and it's sometimes embarrassing to learn who we were. But it's also key to fixate or or to be, to be working on something new, to to direct us to something different, and and it's, it's, it's, it's all about character. It's all about, you know, being of of sound mind and useful and encouraging to someone else.
Speaker 2:You know if there's listeners, that I think one of the main things that keep people from God who don't already know him, that keep people from God who don't already know him, whether it's out of anger or fear, is hypocrisy I think a lot of people talk about, well yeah, hypocrisy and they believe that that exists.
Speaker 1:So can you speak to that if people are struggling with that and they feel strongly about that? Yes, thank you for asking that because you're right. I forget about that many times. Um, but yeah, you're right. And and that's where men like me and any claiming christian who goes to church every sunday I think that's where it becomes so, so more important to. It becomes so more important to walk in the Spirit, as God is in the Spirit, as it tells us, because when we don't walk in the Spirit, we get so easily entangled with our old ways and our sin and our word of mouth and everything like that. So it is imperative that we walk in the spirit, as God is in the spirit, and also know that I'm not perfect. I am not perfect. I guarantee you I had confessed sin yesterday and I guarantee you, before this day is up in fact, and I guarantee you, before this day is up in fact, by this time, already at 9.50 pm, or am that I have already had sin to confess. I am never going to be perfect.
Speaker 1:Billy Graham lived to be 97 years old and changed millions of lives. He changed and spurred on millions and millions of men and women's hope and faith, but I guarantee you he wasn't finished at age 97. This journey is never to be ended until God says and we are always going to fall. Now I get a little perturbed claiming Christians and I don't want to specifically name doctrines and creeds and denominations of faith and stuff but I really do. I get perturbed by the same thing. But it's all a heart issue and everything in this breathing daily life it's all a matter of the heart and if your heart is yielded, if you're walking in the spirit and doing the best that you can do, then you're going to illustrate hope, joy, peace, loving, kindness, patience, endurance, all the things that 1 Corinthians, the love chapter, talks about. You're going to exemplify those. You're going to illustrate those and you're not going to do it to the fullest that you can, this day compared to another day, but you're always going to be able to do it and therefore we just need to for that wrong thought or that wrong word or that anger that you shouldn't have made tangible or whatever it is that you do.
Speaker 1:Don't accumulate those things and say I got to confess that later. Do it right now. God is a right now God. Don't say oh, before I go to bed tonight I want to confess that, because then all you do between that moment say it's 1 pm, and you go to bed at 9 pm, all you're doing in those next eight hours is compounding every other thing that you might do wrong or did do wrong, and then you're just building up more than you can remember.
Speaker 1:God is a right now God. He wants you, building up more than you can remember. God is a right now God. He wants you, he yearns for you to take care of these things right now. Let's not build our list, let's not accumulate and then dump a whole pile on God. Let's do it right now, because that's also what keeps us free, that's also what keeps our mind steadfast on him and in his ways. If we hold on to these things and even if we do let them go at the end of the night if we do hold on to them anymore, then all we're doing is amnesticizing our capacity to hold sin and to commit more sin because we've got room for it. Let's not do that. Let's confess them right now. Right now, because God is right now.
Speaker 2:I think that speaks to what you had said before, which is like alcoholism and addiction. It's not really about that, it's not about the substance, it's about. You know the behaviors and like so when we, when we accumulate poor behavior, we're more likely to fall into that if you're alcoholic or addicted. So the importance of relieving yourself of that and confessing early is to get right back on track and to believe in in the core of your moral that you know and to believe in the core of your moral that you know and to believe in that.
Speaker 2:It's like the new, that is your new normal, that is your new life and it's like you know, when you put that down, your new life begins. And you have to believe that in your heart so that when you do falter. It's like my shirt says get used to different get used to different Right and that you know that'll bring you back you know, because you know, this is you, this is authentically you.
Speaker 1:Now, you know so yeah, and you know, I just you know something, let me just drop a few more. Uh. And after deciding to proact your faith and yield your life to God, and there's things that we got to change. There's, you know, besides our pattern of thinking and the things that we're going to do. You know, in addiction I knew where I had to go to get what my fix was, and when I stopped I knew that many times it was going to be more work for me to steer my thought from it or my possibility of falling again in it, and therefore I had to work harder. I had to drive longer routes around somewhere than I used to go, just so I wasn't looking at the store that I went and got my bottle in, or so that I wasn't looking at the bar that I thought I could just go in and set a limit to, but then find out that I don't even remember leaving the bar. You know what I mean. You have to work towards being free and staying free, and in ways that I kind of got myself a little sidetracked here, but I was going to say that I started early in the morning. That I started early in the morning I found it very important to.
Speaker 1:I'm a physical guy. I'm not so digitally inclined at all. I'm very technologically illiterate. I'm just going to say it I am. I hope to get better. I am a little bit better in the last few years, but I still prefer old school things and I like to write.
Speaker 1:So I knew it was good for me to keep a gratitude journal and so I started writing a gratitude journal when I got up in the morning, before I even come downstairs. Come downstairs, I am already so filled with gratitude because I opened my eyes and I knew how to look, but I don't know how to make my eyes see. Only God knows how to make my eyes see. I got out of bed and I got a bad back and I've broken a lot of bones and I got some titanium all through my body and things like that. But guess what? I can still go up and down stairs.
Speaker 1:There are so many millions of people that are in wheelchairs or quadriplegics and I deserve that from my life's actions. But I've been blessed and grace handed in such a way that I am thankful I was able to breathe when I woke up this morning. I know how to inhale and exhale, but I don't know how I don't provide the oxygen, all these things grateful and thankful for, for the bigger or some of the things that we don't ever think about, then then your, your gratitude, just expands and you become more positive and more energy focused to help others see that. And that's what I want to, I want to, I want to bring that, I want to bring that, I want to deliver that and help men see these things and things like that.
Speaker 1:Because it also develops the ruts. It covers the old ruts up that you used to run in and go in, that were only leading to death, destruction, shame and toilsome, and it starts steering into new ruts and giving you new ruts that bring into life and hope and encouragement and all the things that God wants you to have. And that's so between the Gratitude Journal and things like that. So between the Gratitude Journal and things like that, these are just little tactics that will progress and help, you know, help men in their direction.
Speaker 2:Sure, I believe you will help so many men in this journey of getting a new life. This journey of getting a new life. Well, your message is so heartfelt because you've really lived it and you've completely come out the other side, and I really believe you're going to make a big impact in this area. So, where can people find you and to connect with you?
Speaker 1:Okay, so my website is very long, it's the same as my email, but it's Breaking Bondage from Addiction, and that is where that is my website and that's my Gmail as well accumulate and lead men to a freedom that they have, are trying to regain or who have never had. In my own case, I never had this type of freedom. I was never. It never was even illustrated, I never saw it, even on tv or anything. I didn't understand this kind of freedom that I have now, and that's you know what his word tells us, that that's the kind of freedom he wants us to have, and this is what I want other addicts to have. I, you know, I may be, I'm, I'm, I'm very radical, I'm. I'm not lukewarm at all. I've always been hot or cold, always been hot or cold, and I would love this to become so profound that the alcohol market will take a broad hit. I will love that. I would love the bars to close up because of this, but I really want.
Speaker 1:I want. I want a revival of peace and freedom for men to have from addiction, and I am willing and ready to come down to every level that it is. There's not a level that I really don't know. I've had so many years and so many experiences of experience on the high side and many more times on the low side of it, and I, I, I desire this and I desire this, for, for, for, for men who can lead and also lead other men in the same way. I, I, really I want to close by.
Speaker 1:You know I cited Romans 12.1 and how imperative it is to renew our mind and exemplify the will of God, that which is good, acceptable and perfect. I love how Paul puts that, but later on, in Philippians 4, verse 8, he says Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just pure and pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise think about these things. It all starts in our mind and we know what our addicted mind infiltrated and exuded and lived on and excused and lied about and made up, and we know what that was. Let us do these opposite things Whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever's commendable, whatever is excellent or anything worthy of praise. Think on these things.
Speaker 1:We have to think on these things. This is what we think on, and everything we think, everything we do physically, everything we say with a word, is a seed. It's either a seed of life or it's a seed of death. Everything is a seed. Every action, every thought, every motive, every intention. It's all a seed. And let our intentions be real, motivating intentions and good intentions. We have to live this life intentionally.
Speaker 2:I'm so grateful you came on to share. You have a powerful message. I'm going to put your website in the show notes so people can look it up, and also your email if they want to contact you directly.
Speaker 1:Yes, absolutely.
Speaker 2:I thank you for being here and for being so honest and sharing such a powerful story.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much, jessica. You've been wonderful, thank you.
Speaker 2:Thank you for tuning into the Sober Living Stories podcast. If you have been inspired, consider subscribing and sharing with anyone who could use hope in their lives. Remember to stay tuned for more inspiring stories in the episodes to come. To view our featured author of the month or to become a guest yourself, visit wwwjessicastepanovichcom.